I woke up with my nightmare that she was gone. The scene of losing her is still playing in my head. I only sleep half awake because of the pain of losing her. I don't want to question God, but I can't stop myself from asking him why? Nobody understands what I feel right now because the only man I can talk to cannot hear me already. He is there, but he is already gone like Tania. She is just there, but she is gone. I hope everything will be back to normal because I will never leave her again. It was my mistake to set her aside because I didn't know it would hurt. If only I would die today just to be with her. I would be glad. Even killing Joper and his friends didn't give me satisfaction. I heard her voice outside, which ignited me and excited me to see her. I stand up and look outside the window—her smile, her voice captivating me. I feel like I want to hug and kiss her and make her feel how much I miss and love her. She looks at me, and her smile melts my heart again. I close my eyes and think for a second if she still remembers me. I hope she did. Please, God. I am begging you don't take her away from me. Please exempt her. I closed the window curtain, and I immediately went down to see her.

"Tania," I called her name, and she looked at me blankly even though she had a smile on her face.

"Yes?" She asked, and she looked at me without remembering me. I took a deep breath because I wanted to scream, but it wouldn't help. It is so painful that the woman that I love is standing in front of me, but I am just a stranger to her.

"Oh, you're back," Divina said while looking at me. I retook a deep breath. And looked at her, and then looked at her daughter again, who was silently standing beside her. The sunset is high in the sky, but I feel the atmosphere is cold. I can't hear my surroundings because I am deaf by my heart, screaming silently only for her name.

"Oh yeah……I…just want to give you this...my payment for this month," I said and gave her the brown envelope with money inside. My payment for the rent is the money that I saved since my bankruptcy started. She took it and counted the money in front of me and put it inside the envelope and reminded me of the next month and then she went inside to get a notebook that she made me sign, as proof that I am already paid this month and went inside their house again. I looked at Tania, and she smiled at me.

"Are you new here?" She asked

"I have never seen you before," She added," that breaks my heart. If she only knew what we had. If only she remembers.

"Yes, I am new here", I answered. my voice shook because my tears wanted to fall. I suddenly asked her if she wanted to go to chapel because I knew she liked it, and I wanted to ask her if she wished street food. Maybe she will remember something about me, about us. If I will bring her to the place that we've been before. I am still hoping for her to remember me. Even though I know, that is impossible. She smiles at me as she did before. That is why I fell in love with her, and she wants to go to the chapel with me. That makes my heart beat fast again, like I am alive again, while still hoping for her to remember me when we go to chapel. This is my chance to let her remember even though I am not sure if it will work, that is why I don't want to waste it.

"I will go there to put flowers at the altar", She added with her dimple showing.

"Wait, I will just get the flowers inside," She said, and I smiled at her and nodded.
I watched her comb and tied her hair in front of the mirror. She is prettier than ever. She put on a little lip gloss too. She looked at me and told me to wait. I smile at her. It is alright. I can wait for her no matter how long it is, like what she did to me. She took the roses from the vase and carried them close to her heart, and wore her pair of sandals.

"Where are you going," Her mother asked.

"I will go to the chapel to put these flowers on the altar", She answered

"Who is with you?" Divina asked again. and Tania looks at me with a question, "What is your name?"

"Isaac," I said, and she looked at her mother and told me my name. Divina looked at me and looked at her daughter.

"Are you going to go with her?" Divina asked me

"Yes," I answered.

"Bring this lunch to your father and tell him. Do not forget his vitamin" Divina gave her the lunchbox, and Tania took it and kissed her mother, and we left.

I tried to bring the lunchbox because she is already bringing flowers, but she doesn't like it. We are silently walking to the barangay office to give her mother lunch for her father. I don't know what to tell her. I want to ask her if she remembers something, but I feel awkward because she doesn't remember anything. I tried to hold her hand but I felt shy. I don't know her reaction if I hold her hand. A girl like her will get mad if I have her hand, because for her. It is not right to do because I am a stranger to her, and I might scare her if I hold her hand. We reached the barangay office, and she looked for her father and gave the lunch to him.

"Mom said don't forget your vitamins," She said.

"Okay, noted," Her father said. Her father looked at me and asked, "Are you the new renter?"

"I am, three months ago", I answered

"Why did I just see you now?" He asked again

"I am always out of town working."

"What is your work?"

"Contractor", And her dad just looked at me. After asking me like interrogating me in the sound of his voice. His stare makes me uneasy.

"Are you courting my daughter?" He asked while still staring at me. That makes me feel uneasy more. I didn't answer because I wanted to but I couldn't.

"Dad", Tania said, and I saw her blush. She looked at me and whispered, "Sorry", with her dimple out. She felt embarrassed by her father's treatment of me.

"Enjoy your lunch, dad," She said with a smile to change the topic. Her dad checked what was inside and said, "This is my favourite hot rice with chicken Afritada. Your mom wants me to get fat." He said with a smile and closed the lunchbox again.

She kissed her dad on his cheek, and then we left. We went to the church near the barangay office. I sat at the front while watching her walk to the altar and imagining her walking with me on our wedding day. After completing the task, this is my plan, but it will not happen now, and I regret it. She put the flowers that she was holding in the vase. I remember when I first met her, here in the same church. She offers flowers too. After she put the flowers in the vase, she sat beside me and looked at the altar while I was looking at her. I wish she remembers even just a little about me because it is not. I will try to make her remember. I will make her fall in love with me again, like how she makes me fall in love with her.

"What's the matter? Why are you looking at me?" She asked, and I smiled and answered, "You remind me of the girl that I knew."

"Where is that girl now?" She asked again while still looking at the altar.

"She is gone", I answered. I want to answer that she is here, sitting beside me, but she will not understand because she doesn't remember anything.

"Why?"

"Because something tragic happens that makes her forget about us", I answered, and I wanted to hug her and beg her to remember me, but I couldn't.

"You love her?"

"VERY MUCH"

"What's her name?" I think for a second what name to give her, but I can't think of any.

"Tania" Her name accidentally slipped from my mouth, and she looked at me with surprise.

"Same with my name," She said. I want to tell her that it is her, but I have hesitation. I know I will sound weird to her. That is why I didn't answer.

She looked at me and held my hand to comfort me, even though I didn't mean anything to her. I feel like I don't want to let go of her hand. "The mind can forget, but the heart can't," She said while still holding my hand, and she looked back at the altar. She gave me hope in what she said. I hope it will go that way. Please try to remember me. I begged her in my mind. She let go of my hand, and she closed her eyes for seconds and then she looked at me, and she told me that she prayed for the woman I loved to remember me and for me. That is what I am praying too. Even I know God won't grant it.

"Please try to remember me,
is the only thing that I am praying for,
because every day it is killing me,
to see you, seeing me as a stranger,"

I am secretly telling her I want to shout it to the world. Every day my heart is screaming for her. Every night I want to watch her. My heart is always looking for her, and now she is here beside me without a single idea of what she means to me. How painful is it that she sees me as a stranger? I wish I could turn back the hands of time? I would never leave her behind. I will never let her wait for so long. I love you, Tania, even if you don't know. I love you secretly now.

"I hope you will be okay someday," She said; that made me speechless in what she said because I would never be okay without her.

"You want to eat street foods later?" I asked, but she didn't answer

"It's my treat", I added, and I wish she said yes. I want to recall the memories we had even for the last time.

"Tania", Someone called her, and we looked back. I saw Jopher. That is why I am angry. I run to him like a mad bull and punch him in the face. I didn't know that he was still alive because I had already ripped him off. We fight inside the chapel. He ruined my life because Tania couldn't remember me anymore, and now he is still alive. I am ready to kill him again. My eyes wanted to turn all black again when I heard her shout.

"Stop!" She shouted and stopped us from fighting. She pulled me away from the man who called her, and she stood in the middle of us.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked me. I didn't answer. I looked at the man closely, and he was not Jopher. I just thought he was Jopher. He is wiping the blood on his mouth while staring angrily at me.

"Who is he?" I asked while still looking at the man.

"You are asking who I am?" He asked me irritably. Like he wants one more round.

"I am her boyfriend", He answered, "That makes me freeze. What? Boyfriend? I looked at Tania and looked at the man again. This can't be. This is worse than what I expected. She didn't only remember me, but she already had a boyfriend.

"Why? Who are you?" His boyfriend asked me, and he looked at me angrily, like he would kill me. I didn't answer. I am surprised by what I heard that makes my world stop rotating. I feel like I am double killed.

"Please, go home," Tania said. She was asking me to go home now.

"Who is he?" His boyfriend asked her.

"Our renter", She answered. I am just a renter to her now, and she has a boyfriend now.
I walk back home without her. My plan of letting her remember about me faded away. I feel like I want to die. My heart is a wreck, and my mind is getting crazy while I can still feel her hand holding mine. I saw Divina and asked where Tania was. I just looked at her and didn't answer. I am not in the mood. I have wanted to explode since last night. I feel exhausted and tired instantly because I feel like I was cheated. She is gone without us saying goodbye. I went inside my apartment and closed the door. I saw Maria and dad waiting for me. She is fading too with dad. I closed my eyes and screamed and punched the wall many times to release my frustration, sadness, regret, pains, and heartache.

"Please, stop," Maria said, and she held my hand to stop me from punching the wall when she saw it bleeding already.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted, and I grabbed her on her neck and strangled her. I slammed her on the wall. I am angrily staring at her while she is crying.

"It is not my fault," She cried. "Please" I looked at her and let her go. I sat on the floor and started to cry. I can't stop my feelings; I can't stop my tears from falling. It is so painful to lose her and see her with another guy now. The plans that I am dreaming of for us will only stay as a dream. Even though I know I can make it come true if it didn't happen. I cried hopelessly like a child. Maria came close to me even though I strangled her. She hugs me and kisses me on my cheek.

"I am sorry," She said even if it was not her fault. "I know how painful it was, but there's something that we can't get back to ease the pain, and all we need to do is move on", She added while she was trying to comfort me.

I don't know what to say. I don't even know how to make Tania remember if she already had a boyfriend. I saw her open their door, and she looked at me without any emotion. I know she is mad at me for hurting her boyfriend because I thought it was Jopher. Jopher ruined my life, but he is dead now, and no one remembers him. Only me. I can kill him again. I will be glad to do that because the pain he gave me is thrice more painful than his death. She went inside without saying a word and closed the door. I heard her saying that she was home to her mother. I tried to read her mind because she was already in my mind. I am trying to get inside her mind, but I can't because my mind is occupied right now. This is what Michael is saying. That is why the angels are not allowed to interact with humans because it would be bittersweet at the end, but either way. It would still be bittersweet, and I'd rather be bittersweet than living life without her.

"Please," She whispered.

"Don't hurt yourself", I said, but I didn't mind her. She tried to hold my hand, and I let her.

"You need to go back to life even without me," I told her while still looking outside the window. I am waiting for Tania to go out again to see her again.

"Why?" She asked

"Once you have your life back. You will not remember me. You will not remember even a single of me," I answered, and she shook her head.

"But I love you," She said, and I smiled, and then I laughed. Maybe she didn't know what she said. Love is just four letters, but it can kill a person. It is dangerous, and it is poisonous.

"You will not remember my face, my name, and even your love for me," I added like what happened right now, and she shook her head again.

"Well, I'd rather stay dead with you," She said, and I didn't answer. I took a deep breath to hold my pain and anger again. When I saw Tania and her boyfriend, she kissed her boyfriend like how she had kissed me before. Her boyfriend brings her flowers, and she accepts them with a smile. They looked so in love with each other, and I felt jealous, but I couldn't do anything. I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see them sweet. It is killing me when I open my eyes again. They were gone. I don't know where they went, and I don't want to know because it will add to my suffering. I will try to accept that this is my fate and do what I have to do.

"Tomorrow, I will find your lover," I said and wet my lips. I want to end this all. If Tania will never remember me. I would instead end this all to move on. I closed my fist every time I remembered what happened because its impact was like a wrecking ball to me that ruined everything. How funny that I cried for a woman who forgets me, and yet here's the woman who is crying for me? She is sitting beside me, looking at me. Told me that everything would be alright even though she didn't know how hard it was for me. I know she changed her mind when she knew that she would live again, but she would live without me, and she didn't like it. I explain to her that she will be like my father. She will slowly fade until she is a ball of energy that continues travelling on earth endlessly. She will never cross the afterlife because she will fade. I don't know if she understands me because she looks at me silently. I hope she absorbs everything.

"No," She whispered. Her voice is shaking, and she thinks it almost makes her cry.

"I want to have a second chance with you", She added, and she hugged me again, and I let her. It would not be forever anyway. Tomorrow when I find his lover, this task will be over. Maria is the last stage, and I will complete the seven deadly sins. After everything and if I would be given a chance. I will come back again and make Tania remember me. Even the chance that I will ask is like a punch in the moon.

"I love you," She said with worry in her eyes. When she realized what I said, I didn't answer because she liked it or not. I need her to complete my task.