Six months later Cassandra gave birth to a baby after carrying it for 9 months. When we took a DNA test, I discovered that I was not the child's father. I don't have any blood running to the child. I was extremely disappointed with the results. I was clear from the start that I didn't want to have a child with Cassandra. I don't want to have a child with a woman I don't love, but when I found out I wasn't the father of the child, I was devastated. For a long time, I was tied to a responsibility that was not mine. In the few months that she held the child in her womb, I admit that I accepted to be a father before the child was born. I just found out that Cassandra meant for me to wake up like that when I thought something had happened to us. She said that she didn't know what to do anymore because the child’s real father ran away from her, so she thought of keeping what happened a secret from me. He said he did not want the child to grow up without a father. And I was the only one who found a solution for that. Guilt is seen from her eyes as she shreds her tears in front of me. After that happened, I forgave, but not for her, but only for the child. I don't want to see her anymore. I didn’t go out for a week and isolated myself to be able to think just trying to find myself. I felt lost. But there was someone who never left my side and it was Louisa. She always is. She helped me to get through things that stopped me from being free.
“Do you think your father won’t be mad at me?” Louisa asked while I was driving. She accompanied me to go to dad’s grave.
I smirked. “ Why?”
“Because I came with you without me being invited?” She bit her lips
“My dad knows you.” I winked at her and he gave me a weird reaction. I just laughed a little.
Finally, we got here. I put down the flowers at his tomb. I knelt and Louisa was standing beside me.
"Dad, I've been weak since you left. A lot happened to me. I...I don’t know how to get up, but I will try. There is someone who helps me to bring back my old me. She’s here. You already know Louisa. I told you about her. " I looked at Louisa.
“Uh, Nice meeting you Sir, Don’t worry Xy just misses you but he’s fine.” She smiled as if my dad was really in front of her.
Afterward, I then drove her to her condo and we ate there as well. I didn't rush home to accompany her because she said she didn't have anything planned. She had the sudden idea that we were just watching a movie. She still asked me what I wanted. I said it's fine even if we watch cartoons. I burst out laughing. We ended up watching a romantic comedy. She gets to enjoy it. We were both seated on a sofa, but not next to each other. We were initially quiet while eating, and when there was a bed scene, I noticed she tightly hugged the pillow. She just stared at the TV while I was watching her, and then her gaze shifted to me. I feel we got embarrassed by each other. She shifted her position. I got up and went to the kitchen pretending to get a beer from the refrigerator even though we hadn't finished the drinks that were on the table. I just didn't want her to feel uncomfortable with me. Even the truth is I was the one who felt that. When I got back on the sofa, the scene I caught in the movie was still the same. I passed in front of her to put the four cans of beer on the table and still somehow distracted her then I went back to my place earlier. This time I sat close to her and leaned my arms on the sofa.
“Have you already watched it?” I asked, still my eyes were on the TV.
“Yeah, Several times. That was my favorite romantic movie since then. Though I knew what would happen in the end It still surprises me. Uh, Why don't you like it? ” She said in amusement and turned her sight on me.
“I don’t watch romance,” I smiled at her as her eyebrows raised to me. “I just read them.”
“Then it's still the same. Are they?” I just nodded.
I noticed Louisa had dozed off near the end of the movie. She had fallen asleep while hugging the pillow. I arranged her position to lie down so she could rest well. I didn't want to wait for the movie to finish, so I turned it off. I walked into her room to get a blanket, leaving the door open. I had a sudden thought to return to the living room. I carried her so that she could sleep on the bed and covered her with a blanket. I just sat on the side of the bed, staring at her. I also got up immediately to clean up the clutter we had earlier. Afterward, I lay down for a moment on the sofa. I feel bothered. Get up, lie down. It's like I want to go to her room. I miss seeing her even for a second, especially when she is asleep. I'm feeling obsessed.
I simply moved my feet in the direction I wanted to go. As I reached her room I just stared at her, and the more I stared, the more I fell for her. I, too, lie down, but I keep my distance. She was so agitated that she unexpectedly hugged me. Instead of removing her hand, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. I stroked her hair while she was still sleeping. I wondered how long I would keep such things from her like these. Not asleep either, not tipsy. I want her to see me with her eyes wide open. I want her to feel my touch in a way she knows. I felt sorry for stealing her hugs and kisses when she was awake and everything seemed normal to us. It's simply a friendship bond. That way, I can tell her how much I adore her. It's like a hidden love. I thought it might be possible that the two of us had the chance because Cassandra and I had already ended, but that wasn't the issue. I was the problem. I was a coward. I was afraid she'd simply walk away.
We stayed in that position. I didn't sleep, despite my desire to close my eyes because she might wake up with me next to her. Her hug tightened even more. Maybe she assumed I was the pillow. I kissed her forehead and just stared at her until time ran out.
"I'm hoping you'll wait for me." I locked my gaze on her.