Chapter 54
I stopped.
My knees weakened.
Tears flowed down my eyes endlessly. My heart feels like it’s being ripped into pieces. I burst out into tears together with painful cries escaping my mouth.
I’m sorry, Stefano. I’m sorry.
With a heavy heart, I stood up and continued walking.
“Emily!” I panicked and quickly hid behind a wall. I slowly peeked and was relieved that he didn’t see me. “Emily, please! This isn’t a good joke!”
I could sense the worry, fear, despair, and frustration in his voice. I hid behind the wall as I continue to hear him yelling my name.
“Did you find her? Damn it! Search for her! I don’t care what the fuck you do, just find her!” I peeked and saw him talking on his phone. He probably called his siblings and company already. If I don’t leave now, it will be a matter of time before they find me.
I started walking carefully, but stopped when he started yelling again. 
“Emily, please! You can’t leave me. H-How… How can I do this without you? I-I need you.” My heart broke alongside his cracked voice. Even though I can’t see him, I know he’s shedding tears.
I’m sorry, Stefano. I love you so much that I can’t let you have any weakness. I need you, I want you, but so does Noah.
I wiped my tears, pulled down the hood of my jacket, and ran.
I managed to bring a change of clothes without Stefano knowing. I sneaked it in the bag we brought, and I’m glad he didn’t notice it.
I know that he already knows that no one took me, and that I left on my own. Afterall, I left him a letter.
‘My dearest Stefano,
Thank you for bringing warmth into my life. Thank you for being the light in my dark world. Thank you for pulling me out of that fiery pit. Thank you for existing.
Thank you for loving me.
You’re the man any woman would want. I’m lucky to be the woman who loves you and the woman you love so dearly. I asked myself once, what did I ever do to deserve a man like you. Then I came up with an answer; you’re probably the consolation the heaven’s sent me after putting me through hell in my entire life.
If I have to experience everything again just so I could have you again, I would gladly do so. I’ll endure it all again.
I love you so much, Stefano. This life isn’t enough to tell you how much I love you and how much happiness you brought me.
You brought me so much joy and peace, but then I brought you sourness and pain. I know what you’ll say. You’ll probably say that none of this is my fault, but I know better. I appreciate your comfort and assuring words, but I am not that naive. You gave me a whole new world, a new perspective… a new hope. Hope that I must continue to live on. I will always be grateful for that.
I don’t want you to be in pain anymore. I know that you’re in pain right now because I left, but trust me one last time… it’s what’s best for both of us.
I don’t want Noah to resent and doubt you in any way, even for just a second. I don’t want you to break his trust, because once it’s broken it could never be restored. You and I know better, right? I mean it when I said be a father to him. Being a father is not just having a child who owns part of your DNA, being a father is beyond that. Beyond limitations.
You don’t have to choose, Stefano. You don’t have to choose between me and Noah. Remember this, Stefano… I will always choose you. Noah is part of you, so it means that I’m choosing him too.
I know that you know me better than anyone else. I also know that you’re already aware of what I’m trying to say.
I’m free now, Stefano. You freed me. From this moment on, my life is mine.
I escaped…because of you.
Now, it’s your time not to give Noah any reason for wanting to escape.
Be there, and I’ll be here.’
I don’t know how far I have already run. All I know is that I’m leaving a trail of my tears as I run further and further away from him.
He might hate me, and I know that.
He’ll resent me, and I’ll live with that.
I’m also questioning my decision. I’m questioning if what I’m doing is indeed the best thing to do.
What if I don’t have to leave? What if we can just talk about it?
What if I could continue to be by his side while loving him?
But I’m afraid. Maybe Veronica is right afterall. Maybe I don’t know him at all… that’s why I’m afraid.
I’m too scared to face the things he could do because of his love for me. I’m afraid that our love will hurt an innocent child. 
Or maybe I’m afraid because I don’t know any better. I don’t know how to have a loving, caring and cheerful family. I don’t know what a good father truly means. That’s why I’m afraid. I’m afraid that because I’m naive about those things, I’ll depend on him so much that it’ll hurt Noah.
I’m still afraid of a lot of things that’s why I know better. I know I can’t give Stefano or Noah any of my best self, because I can’t give that to myself either.
And that’s why it’s better. It’s better for me to leave…to just disappear like this.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you so much, and I hate this but… this is the only thing I could do.”
Farewell, my love.
Maybe somewhere in the universe, I’m a whole person who can give you the greatest and limitless love in this world.