Chapter 60
Emily was silent all the way home. She didn’t speak a single word, and just stared outside the car window.
I understand her though. Veronica died infront of her eyes. She witnessed it. Most importantly, Veronica died saving her. Knowing Emily, this would eat her alive. She’ll blame herself and question whether she’s worth her life.
I reached for her hand, but she didn’t bother to look at me. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
But she didn’t move a muscle. She didn’t dare to even just look at me.
I know what’s weighing her down the most is breaking the news to Noah. How could you even explain to a child, who’s innocent about everything that’s going on, that all of a sudden he’ll never see his mother again?
She’s probably having that kind of thought that when Noah grows up, and learns that Veronica saved her, he’ll blame her for his mother’s death.
But he is my son. He didn’t grow up with me, but I know that he won’t blame Emily – ever. Because that’s the kind of woman his mother is. I know he’ll take that from her.
We eventually arrived back home, and I can clearly see — without even looking at her eyes — how her emotions intensified.
“Emily. You can just go to our room and rest. I’ll talk to Noah myself.”
It took her a few seconds before answering. “No. I… I have to —”
“You don’t have to. It’s not your obligation. I am his father. I’ll talk to him.”
“She died because of me.”
“She saved you.”
“I see no difference.” She turned to me. “She still —”
“Emily!” I took a deep breath. “People make choices for the things that happen, and some of those involve other people. But it doesn’t mean it's the other person's fault. We are responsible for our own actions, but we can’t control the outcome. Veronica made a decision — and she knew what could happen. There’s nothing you can do, Emily. It was her decision to save you. She wanted to save you, and it wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe. Maybe it wasn’t. But maybe it is.”
“Emily—”
“Stefano. I love you. I love you and I never loved anyone the way that I love you. I want you. I want you and everything that comes with you — like Noah. But how could I? How could I be so selfish to love you, and love Noah, when I took his mother away from him?”
“It wasn’t you, Emily.”
“I know! I know that. But how do you expect me to live, and look at the child’s eyes… those eyes that resemble his mothers? The eyes that looked into my soul just before leaving this world?”
“Are you leaving?”
“I… I owe Noah those words. The least I could do is… is to tell him.”
Emily departed the car and I was left inside stunned. 
I eventually followed her inside. I saw her in the living room, kneeling in front of Noah who was sitting on the couch. I slowly walked towards them.
“Noah… I… I have to tell you something.”
“I’m not mad.” Emily lifted her head. “Well, I have been waiting for you because I wanted to show you my drawing. You came back late, but I am not mad. I could still show it to you.”
Right there, I realized what Emily said.
I walked towards them, gently pulled Emily up and made her sit on the couch. Then I sat on the couch beside my son.
“Noah, I have to tell you something.”
“Stefano —”
“Your mom… left. She went… somewhere far.”
I could hear Emily trying to hold her sobs, but I focused on the child beside me.
“Is she coming back?”
At that moment, I didn’t know how and what to answer. It rips me apart thinking that I, as his father, continuously failed to give him  the family he deserves. I was away when he had his mother, and now that he has me… his mother is gone.
“No.” I said under my breath, almost a whisper. “She’s… she’s not coming back. I’m sorry.”
“Why? She… She doesn’t love me anymore?”
I quickly faced him and held his hands tightly. “She loves you more than anything, Noah. Your mother will always love you. Don’t ever think that way again, okay?”
“Then why did she leave?”
“She… she’s a hero.” I forced a cough, trying to stop myself from cracking my voice into tears. “Noah, just think like this. Your mom is one of the stars in the sky, she will always watch over you, and when you look up you’ll see her. Just —”
“She’s dead… isn’t she?”
I feel like everyone around us stopped and gasped in shock. The word ‘dead’ coming out from a child’s mouth so casually will just shock you.
“Yeah.” I mumbled after contemplating on what to say. “Noah —”
“You could have just said it, dad. I am a child… but I am not stupid. Every time I get smart about the things happening, mom would always say that I should be more like a child. She said I am you. Exactly like you.”
“Noah… you can be a child and cry.”
“Children are not the only ones who cry, dad.” He then stood up and walked towards Emily, who had been silently crying. “At least mom left you with me and dad. I know mom is okay somewhere… because you’re here.”
Emily burst into tears and Noah just hugged her. I couldn’t stop myself from crying after witnessing and hearing those words from my child.
I know Noah is smart, he is my son after all, but to be this smart especially when he just lost his mother… I wouldn’t dare take credit for it.
I stood up, sat at the arm of the chair where Emily is, and hugged both of them.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Emily mumbled between her sobs.
“I’ll miss mom. I want to hug her too, but she’s still here. Right, dad?”
“Yeah. She’s always with you, son.”