Chapter Thirty-Five: Awkward
This is the worst possible scenario.
I was just planning to talk to him and suddenly it ended up being a heated conversation with feelings being pierced open.
This is a dream. I'm certain of it. I'll just wake up with the stupid idiot waving his hands on the front porch and we'll resume our usual high school life routine.
This is just a dream. A very realistic dream.
Oh, who the hell was I kidding? It was real alright.
The warmth of his hands on my cheeks and the rapid beating of my heart was the reminder that it wasn't a dream at all.
That everything he had said was the truth and that he likes me. Not platonically, but romantically. And I'm afraid. Afraid of what happens now.
I placed a hand on my chest as any means to tone it down, but no matter how I try to, it just keeps on drumming so loud that it deafened and overwhelmed me.
This is bad. So bad.
I'm not only clueless, but helpless as well. Just when did my life turned upside down that it became like this?
I was the boyish, weird girl throughout my life. It was supposed to end that way. Being alone, unloved, and kept in the corners.
And now I don't know what to do. How to respond to those feelings of his. How I really feel or how I'll see him after everything he said.
It's complicated, they say.
It truly is.
. ...
Things somehow turned for the worse.
I just wanted to spend the weekends all by myself, lurking on my dark room and healing myself with the remedy of horror movies and books. But no, Lance and Emily decided to barge in and pick just the right day to come and bicker me.
"I'm sick," I lied through my teeth, managing a somewhat convincing cough.
I hope they were dumb enough to fall for it. I hope.
They weren't.
"Avery, stop lying!" Emily replied, pursing her lips as she eyed me. "---I get that you're anti-social, but at least spend some time with us."
"Why is he here?" I pointed to the midget standing beside Emily who had a haunting look on his face.
I mean he wouldn't be called a midget anymore given a few months time. He is a growing boy and most of the time, boys will outgrow girls. Just last year, he was only at my chest level, and now he's almost taller than me. It's scary.
He looked at me with a frown and huffed, crossing his arms in defiance. "Shut up, Avery. Stop changing the subject."
I was caught off guard because I didn't notice Emily's hands interlocked around my arms and placed it on a deadly lock. She grins at me. "Come on, let's go to my cousin's house. There's barbeque and such there."
Lance ushered beside her and placed his hand on my shoulder whilst shaking his head. "You can't escape it, Avery."
I clicked my tongue, not too surprised about the thought of them ganging up on me. This was bound to happen. "And what are you gonna do? Strip me naked? Drag my lifeless body onto your car?"
"Avery, don't be so dramatic."
I opened my mouth to try and retort something clever, but I was out of snickers to reply, so I clamped my mouth shut and resigned myself to the clutches of these two demons.
Lucky for them that I took a bath before they barged in. Even if I hadn't, I'd probably still go and it's not my fault if they writhe with my stench. Hey, it's normal to stink you know?
"My mother is outside your front porch," as if she heard my thoughts, replied as we strolled on my front porch and she was right...a black Ford Ranger was waiting in front.
"Is...Tom coming?" I inquired calmly, but my fingers were trembling in contrast to that. I didn't want to raise suspicion or else they might press me with questions.
"He's already inside," Emily chirped, ushering me hurriedly as we made our way in front of the car.
"Let me go," I groaned, trying to yank my hands off theirs but they resisted, gripping it even more tightly that I can't escape unless I wriggle like a worm, but that's too embarrassing.
"We both know you're gonna run away," Lance retorted, eyeing me in distaste.
Did this kid get snappier or what?
"I won't. In fact, barbeque seems appetizing right now," I remarked, flashing my tongue at him out of spite. Yeah, I know, real mature ha ha.
"You promise?" Emily eyed me like a child just asked me if the tooth fairy was real—which would've made me feel guilty if I didn't lie. Also, it's not like I'm the best liar in the world. I quite suck at it.
I sighed, giving in to their demands. "Fine. I won't run."
"Then, ladies first," Lance bows down like some servant, opening the door to the car and before I could get a hold of the inside, Lance pushes me and I stumble, planting my face on something firm.
That little---! I knew he was up to no good!
Wait...this seems like a corpse---body, not to mention this lemon scent was all too familiar. A scent that only one person used.
I closed my eyes as I prepared for the worst, regaining my posture as I flickered my eyes open and I was right...he is indeed....here.
I looked away, feeling so embarrassed and tensed when our eyes meet for a split second. Shit. What should I do?
I planned to sit next to the door at the opposite side but it seems that these idiots planned everything for Lance was already planting his ass on my seat all the while grinning like a wicked villain.
I wanted to bring my knuckles up and smack it down his head, but knowing that Emily's mother was here, I'd rather not. I don't want her to get ideas like I'm a thug or something.
I sighed, awkwardly shifting myself on the middle seat, making myself sandwiched between these two guys--both of which I hate right now.
Hate---I guess that's too strong, no....dislike is more appropriate.
"Is everyone here?" Emily's mother asked her, looking at us through the mirror as she flashed a smile. "—nice to meet you, kids. Just call me Anna by the way."
"Uhm, I'm L-lance, ma'am," he says nervously, tugging the collar of his shirt like he's hot.
I snorted, eyeing him in disdain.
He nudges me with his sharp elbow and I cough, nudging him back with more force as I glared at him.
Emily's mother chuckled, the wrinkles on her forehead apparent as she smiled. "Don't be too formal, dear. Just call Marie..or you could call me Mom."
The look on their faces were enough to satisfy my growing thirst for revenge. Good job, Marie. Say mom to your mother in law, pesky Lance.
Her eyes shift from Lance to me and I readjust myself, trying to look presentable in case she thinks I'm a slob who does nothing but sleep—which is true. "I'm Avery Summers. Nice to meet you."
She nods in acknowledgment, flashing me a grin. "I've heard about how you've helped my daughter. I'm very grateful for it, Avery."
"Oh no," I denied, waving my hands frantically. "—I did nothing. I mean Emily has helped me more."
"You're so modest," she lightly chuckled and then nodded at Tom to which he nodded back.
I guess they know each other know. With greetings out of the way, Marie starts the engine and we were on our merry way to where the barbeque would take place.
Thinking about barbeque makes me hungry now. I only ate cereal for breakfast, so that wasn't really enough to fill me.
"I hope you all went to the restroom," she added while her eyes were casted at the road. "---it'll be an hour trip."
It was rather silent, and Marie felt the tension lurking in the air as she pressed some buttons and turned on the radio with some overrated song blasting on repeat. I tried to pay attention to the music blaring in loud volume, but I just couldn't.
He's so close. I could just about feel his warmth radiating close and our body pressed together while Lance sat widely like the entitled brat he is.
That darn brat. We're basically crushed that my body is pressed onto Tom's shoulder and he has the audacity to spread his legs. I swear his space could fit another seat! Damn you, Lance.
That's not even the problem here. The problem is that even though me and Tom had some bottled-up feelings in hopes to reignite our friendship, it instead backfired.
The only thing I could do at this moment was to try and ignore his presence, although his perfume was too hard not to notice. It was felt too obnoxious.
I clumsily rummaged around my small bag, trying to pull out my earphones in a hurried tone as one more second and I'd probably combust.
Finally, it came off and I immediately plucked it into my phone and tucked the earbuds onto my ears. Now this is more like it. This feels like my only safe space.
That way, I can pretend for just a little while that I'm not stuck with him on a trip and that I don't need to answer him right now.
Because, I just don't know what to say.
. . .
I groaned, flickering my eyes open while the glare of the sun blinded me. Did I fall asleep?
My eyes lazily roamed around the interior of the car and it seems that those idiots ditched me and hadn't even bothered to wake me up. Damn it. Are they even my real friends?
"You're awake?
I froze, feeling my drowsiness wash away when he suddenly spoke beside me. Rather, I was leaning my head on his shoulder...no wonder it felt soft.
I hastily scram away from him, and immediately regretted it when my head felt so light headed it started to throb.
I groaned, putting a finger in between my temple, and rubbed it for pressure. Ugh, I want to go home right now. "Uhm, sorry."
"It's alright."
Ugh. So awkward. What to say now? The weather's nice, isn't it? Of course not stupid! Those are just small talks that immediately die down and I'm so uncomfortable right now that I want to call my mom.
"I'll, uh, go first...then," I murmured, wanting to get out of here and out of his sight.
He doesn't reply and I don't bother looking at his expressions as I climbed out of the car and got a good whiff of fresh air.
The house is rather large, even twice as big as mine and it is surrounded with variety of flowers once you walk along the long front porch. It's lovely. It makes you feel like you're on some ethereal scenery.
I wiped my clammy hands down my skirt and knocked on the door, fidgeting as I wait for someone to come and open it.
Someone please hurry up and open it. I don't want to get stuck with Tom all alone once more.
The door bursts open and my eyes get ahold of a small kid, who looks like she is either eight or nine as her big emerald eyes stare back at me with curiosity. She looked cute, with her bow and her frilly dress. I could never have worn something like that when I was younger.
"Are you Emily's friend?" she says so adorably and I admit that I want to pinch those chubby, round cheeks of her, even though I declare that I dislike children—bratty ones that is.
"Yeah."
"Emily! Your friend is here," she hollered with her high pitch voice. "—what's your name, miss?"
"No need to be formal," I reassured, flashing her a small smile. "--I'm Avery. How about you, kid?"
"I'm not a kid," she huffed, puffing her cheeks and though she wanted to act all grown up, she ended up looking cuter. "—I'm an adult."
I lightly chuckle, patting her head softly. "Yeah. You will be in years time."
I wanted to add that being an adult is miserable with responsibilities, taxes, debt, job, and loneliness—but that might scar her, so I kept my mouth shut. I'd rather not be the one to burst her bubble.
"I see sleeping beauty woke up," a third voice chimes in a rather malicious tone. "—did your prince charming kissed you awake?"
I looked up and pursed my lips, removing my hand from the little girl. I spat. "Very nice of you to let me sleep more."
"Well, it's because I care about you," she winked. Yeah right. That look doesn't feel convincing.
"Cut me some slack, Emily," I sighed, watching the kid look at us back and forth. "—you're not helping the situation here."
"So something did happen, did it?" she says in amusement like she heard some juicy gossip.
"I'd rather not talk it."
Emily pouted, persisting like the brat she is. "Come on! I'm dying to know about it, Avery. It's rare that things like these happen to you, you know?"
"And I want the first scoop!" she adds in her high-pitched tone.
"Thanks for reminding me that I'm boring and a loner," I replied sarcastically.
"But you're not alone anymore," she cheekily grinned. "—we're your friends, aren't we?"
I blinked, then let out a small smile. "You trying to use the friendship card? How coy."
If my old self had somehow managed to find out that I had friends...she would burst out laughing and berate at me for trusting other people. But, it's different this time. I hope so.
"Tom!" she called from over my shoulder. "—what are you doing standing there? Come in!"
I froze in my own stance while the footsteps from behind me gradually grew louder, until I could feel a presence standing from behind me.
"What were you doing standing there?" Emily looks over my shoulder with a funny look. "—you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Then let's head in! The barbeque is finished by now."
The little girl tugged the hem of my skirt and smiled. "My father makes tasty food. I'm sure you'll like it too, Avery."
I nod, stepping inside as my eyes roamed around the interiors of their house. It was equipped with expensive looking furniture and modern style designs. If I broke one of their possessions, it might take me 5 years to pay with my part time earning.
"Geez, what took you so long?" Lance appeared from the backyard, sticking his head through the glass door. "---you sleep like a log."
"Gee thanks," I snarled, heading to where he stood and glanced at the two middle aged people and Emily's mother as they both chatted lively.
One of the middle-aged woman glanced at my direction and before I knew it, she was heading to where I stood still.
I wiped my sweaty hands onto my skirt, feeling tensed as she looked rich... I mean she's really rich. I'd feel too ashamed to have her hold my sweaty hands with her smooth and pampered hands.
Is she going to make a remark about how I look like a beggar? That I looked like a punk?
"You're Avery?" she spoke, eyeing me from head to toe with a meticulous gaze.
I anxiously nodded.
She breaks into a grin. "I'm glad you came, Avery. Any of Emily's friend is considered family here."
"I'm Susie and you can call me just that," she winks. "---no need to be so formal with me, Avery."
"I want to feel young, you know? Like you youthful kids," she added, fanning her face with her well-manicured nails.
I opened my mouth to reply, but I couldn't find the right words to say. She placed her hand on my back and ushered me close to where the tables with plates and grilling was stationed.
When she caught me staring at the barbeque, she grinned.
"Don't be shy. There's enough meat." she chuckled.
. . .
"Avery, wanna see my toys?" Claire, the little girl, says in enthusiasm as she clutched on the hem of my shirt.
It somehow became a habit of her.
I smiled lightly, holding her small hands in mine as I bent down in level with her. "Maybe later. I need to wash the dishes as thanks."
She nods, then turned away and latched herself onto where Lance and Emily stood by the living room, watching some movie.
"Uhm, Ma'----Marie," I called. "—I can wash the dishes."
She turned around with plates stacked on both hands, then smiled at me. "Oh, you shouldn't. You're the guest here so make yourself at home."
"I insist," I persisted, taking the plates of her hands and flashed a small smile. "—as thanks."
She sheepishly smiled. "Well, I can't turn you down, can I?"
"Then, I'll take the offer, Avery," she placed a hand on my shoulder. "—but you sure you don't need any help?"
"I can manag---"
"Tom can help!" Emily hollered from the living room. "—right, Tom?"
"Ah, if you'd like to."
I'm pretty sure that question was directed to someone else...someone like me. I stared at the glossy finish of the plates and sighed. Well, I can't tell him no in front of everyone, can I?
"Well, I gotta go," she removed her hand from my shoulder. "---enjoy your stay here, Avery. You're always welcome here."
. . .
Take a shot every time I say the word awkward...or something.
Because this truly is awkward.
Not only do I have to do the dishes, but with him of all people.
He makes me so uneasy right now, for all the wrong reasons. Why can't we be just normal friends? Why did he have to like someone like me? Maybe my classmates were right; maybe I really am a witch.
Because I bewitched someone like him...without me knowing.
I grabbed the grease filled plate and rinsed it with water before wiping it down with the sponge bubbling. Should I say something?
I washed the plate clean and placed it on my left where he was busy wiping the plates dry using a dry cloth and stacking them up neatly.
"Uh----"
We muttered in unison and I froze, holding the unwashed plate to my hand. I swallowed the lump of my throat, mustering up the courage.
"T-the weather is nice, isn't it?" I wryly brought up, turning on the faucet and washed the plate with my slightly trembling fingers.
"Yeah."
"The ba-barbeque, was uh, delicious," I blabbered, my mind hastily thinking with things to say. Just anything but excruciating silence.
I'm so tensed that I'm messing up my words. I sound like an idiot right now.
"Avery."
As if on cue, the sound of water dripping and swirling through the drain stopped. I could hear him clearly right now. Is fate playing a cruel joke on me right now?
"You don't have to answer me."
I reluctantly raised my head to meet his face for the first time since we rode the car. His eyes were casted at the freshly cleaned plate as he slowly rubbed the plate with a dry cloth.
I looked away, staring at the sink.
"I'm not forcing you to. But just know that what I said was the truth."
"How...should I treat you then?" I murmured, rubbing my thumb through the dish. "---because I know that whatever I do, will make me insensitive."
"I don't want to hurt your feelings," I whispered.
"Treat me like usual, okay?"
"I don't want you to drift away because of my feelings."
He added, stacking up the plate he wiped clean. "I'm not expecting anything from you, Avery. Don't stress about it.
"Okay," I whispered, turning on the faucet.
I let out a sound when Tom grabbed my other free hand and pulled me just enough to look into his way. I could see those eyes of his glint with so many emotions that makes me even more guilty.
"Don't lie to me, Avery," he says too seriously for my own good.
"I'm not lying," I muttered, looking at anywhere but him. "—so just let me wash the plates, okay?"
He gives in and removes the hold on my wrist. I sighed, glancing at him. "Just give me...some time."
"I'll get it out of my system in no time...so don't worry," I forced a smile to reassure him.
I know that we're both lying to ourselves.
Things won't be the same anymore....all because he likes me.