Summer's Point of View
I facepalmed myself as I saw Jake's finding me here in the backyard. When he did find me he quickly wents to me and sat down.
"I'm so annoyed right now, Jake. Are you really nuts, huh? Stop following me around and if you want to stay in this hospital just go to the room and study!" I shouted. There were patients and their guests who's now watching us. It's embarrassing but I'm more mad.
How can someone really look for me and disregard their studies? Like that's so important for me and i would disregard anyone for that.
"Shh, don't make a scene, Summer" He shushed me. It's so annoying that he looks at me with a smile plastered on his face. How can I push this man away so that he can study?
"Leave" I simply said with a serious look on my face. He looks like he finally understands that I'm serious and mad at him.
I eat my peaches in peace and just look at the scenery. I'm doing this not for myself but also for him. Someone sat in front of me. He was also pale and had terminal illness like me.
"Can we stroll around?" He asked me. I don't mind talking with strangers like him because he does not look strong enough to fight. I nodded and stood up.
We strolled around the backyard for good and shared a lot of things that we did in our life. He was going to die tomorrow and that pains me, seeing that I'm also going to be like him. I would also have a day where I would die tomorrow.
I went to my room and found Jake studying seriously. I tiptoe through my bed not to cause any noise. I quietly lay there and close my eyes. I remember what the guy had told me.
"Let go of the people you love right now. They would just be hurt if you died. I think your not selfish enough to hurt your loved ones so i would give this advice to you" He said.
I woke up and realised it was dark. It was now dinner time and Jake wasn't here. I'm sure he bought some dinner for me and I wasn't wrong. He served the macaroni soup at my place and even took care of everything.
"Thank you" I simply said and ate. He also starts eating his food. I wonder who he will end up with in the future.
"Jake, look for someone who would also take care of you. Look for someone who's going to be with you forever. I'm really sorry for entering your life." I didn't even finish what I'm going to say when he cut me off.
"Don't say your goodbyes, please. It hurts realising that you won't be here so please don't bid goodbyes if there will still be tomorrow" He said and wiped his tears. I also wipe mine realising that they would truly be hurt once I'm gone.
"But promised me that you're going to be successful and would have a successful life" I said and held my pinky finger.
"I promised" And we made a promise.
Then it was now my day for dischargement. Jake left earlier and I understand because he needs to be at the school for his entrance exam. I was helped by Yola and Fiona to get my things done.
After that we rode a van to get us to the nearby church for my plan to be done. It was the fourth plan to be fulfilled. We got to the church and I prayed first. They don't hold a mass because it's still Saturday but the confession room is open.
I've gone to the confession room to confess my sin. I really confess all the sins that I've done most especially the lies I've made. The priest was nice because he lectures me on my sins and even advice about those things.
I felt so free and at peace when I went out. For the first time in this lifetime I felt like I'm so blessed to even breathe and I'm so thankful that I still woke up. If the past me knows this she would be over the moon and smile ear to ear.
"Let's eat, my treat" I said to Yola and Fiona. We all went to the street food stand and bought some skewers and fries. They took a selfie and video with me so that they would have remembrance.
"Where's Jake?" Yola asks. She's now fond of Jake as she always sees Jake taking care of Sunday. I would also get to church tomorrow and attend mass on Sunday.
I plan to have a bonding session on Sunday tomorrow. I don't know if Jake can attend since I think he deserves a rest for a meantime. Yola would for sure also be there since she's really like a mom to Sunday.
When we went home, I was surprised by Kyle, Aunt Marie, Aunt Sonia, Sari and people in my school. They all had a party hat like it was my birthday party. I smiled and just thanked them for the surprise.
I managed to catch up with my schoolmates and celebrate this party without getting weak. I felt dizzy at times but I was fighting it back. Dinner time came and Jake also came with a smile. It looks like he is relieved now that his exams are done.
"Hi, is this seat available?" he asks me when he sees on my right side that it was still vacant. Fiona was at my left side with Aunt Marie's chit-chat.
"Of course, it is vacant for you," I said with a smile. He sat down and placed his plate on the table. I was at the half of my meal so I slowly ate the half.
I congratulate him on his success in taking the exam. I know that he passed it and aced it because he is Jake.
"So can I talk to you in the garden, alone?" He whispers when he's done eating. I nodded hesitantly and made a confused face.
We stood up. I saw them busy talking with each other. Everyone here is so busy. He held my hand and squeezed it so I glanced at him and raised my eyebrows. He shook his head and just continued holding my hand until we're at the garden.
"So what is it?" I asked him. He looked at me and smiled then he kneeled, that made me shocked. He brought a ring to me and whispered "Will you be the love of my life forever?"
I can't be his love forever. He can't suffer and die alone because I'm going to die next month. He wouldn't be able to keep his words today because for sure someone would appear in his life and change him.
"No, I can't be the love of your life forever. You knew that, Jake! I won't accept the ring for pete sake" I said to him. The pain in his eyes made it doubled to me. I was hurt by what I just said.
He stopped kneeling and smiled at me. He also kept the ring and patted me on the head. Then he said "Okay, I'm sorry. I know it, I'm sorry again" And left.
I was devastated by it. I felt guilt spreading to my entire body and it was the worst thing. The rain started pouring and I saw Fiona shouting my name. When she found me in the garden, she quickly grabbed me inside.
She then grabbed me to my room and started to find clothes that I could wear. I was still dumbfounded and the guilt was still spreading at me. I tried my best to stop the tears but I couldn't.
"Shh, everything happens for a reason. Maybe there's more to it, "she said.
"Jake held a proposal at me and I rejected it. I don't want him to be in the cage just because I loved him. I want him to have his own happy ending with another girl and I know that wouldn't be me" I stated and wiped my tears that were still pouring.
"Shh, it's okay to feel that way. It's really okay if you feel and decide those things. Jake would soon realise that and he would actually thank you in the future for your decisions" She comforted me and made me change my clothes.
It's really hard right now but in the future he would really thank me for saving him and not making things more difficult. I now hope for the best of his future.
We must sacrifice now so he can have his happy ending that wouldn't be me because that's so impossible. That's so impossible right now as we both knew.