While waiting for Asher to get home from work, Cailen busied himself with cleaning up the kitchen, putting away the dishes Asher had washed and left out to dry this morning, sweeping the floor, and other mindless tasks that kept him busy while trying not to think too hard about why he had been the one to go and get Ezekiel and not Asher.
Usually they would call Asher first and if Asher couldn't, then they called Cailen.
He tried not to think about why they had to call him, about why Asher couldn't go and get Ezekiel because that usually ended with an anxiety attack of some sort and worrying to no end until Asher walked through the door, safe and uninjured.
Thankfully it wasn't too long before he heard the jiggling of the doorknob and the sound of the door opening and closing, followed by a series of barks, claws shuffing along the hardwood floors and Asher's voice greeting his puppy at the door.
Cailen waited patiently, leaning against the counter with a cup of tea in his hand, his eyes on the entry way and a sort of relief washing over him when Asher walked into the kitchen, his jumper thrown over his shoulder, Loki at his feet and a surprised look on his face when he saw Cailen waiting for him.
Cailen flashed him a tired smile and waited as Asher tossed his jumper over the chair with Cailen's and made his way over to him.
Cailen accepted the warm embrace of his husband, setting his tea on the counter and soaking up the familiarity of him. His familiar brown hair that he had been growing out lately, not seeming to care about its length anymore.
He soaked up the familiar strong arms that tucked him in close to the familiar firm body, and unfortunately, the familiar smell of smoke that Asher came home with more often than Cailen liked.
It wasn't cigarette smoke. Asher would never, and Cailen almost thinks he would prefer cigarette smoke over this bonfire smell.
At least cigarette smoke didn't mean his husband had been running through a burning building, putting his life on the line to save someone.
Cigarette smoke wouldn't mean that Cailen had to spend most of his days worrying himself sick that when he went home that night, Asher wouldn't be there.
Cailen thought Asher's job was very noble and goodhearted of him- two qualities that Cailen loved about his husband- but he just wished it didn't come with the risk of his life.
When Asher first decided to be a firefighter, Cailen knew it would have the risk but he figured he could handle it. He didn't think it would get this hard to let him leave in the morning, he didn't think that every time Asher didn't answer his phone, Cailen would end up sending himself into a tizzy.
Cailen, however, tried to stay supportive because this was what Asher wanted to do.
It really shouldn't have come as a surprise because Asher had always been about helping people in need.
Ever since he met him when he was thirteen and helped Cailen with those bullies, it's all Asher has ever done- help people.
He loved that about him but why couldn't he help people with their taxes or even physical fitness?
People needed help with that, right?
Of course Cailen has voiced these concerns to Asher, it may have taken quite a bit of coaxing on Asher's part, but Cailen did tell him about it.
At first, Asher would assure him it was okay to feel this way even though Cailen had nothing to worry about because Asher was always careful, but he could tell Asher was slowly growing impatient with his worries.
It may have been Cailen's fault, suggesting Asher look into a different profession, but now, Asher would dismiss the subject without more than a few sentences.
Cailen pulled away from Asher long enough to take in his face to see that he was in fact okay, no signs of any pain or visible scars. He took in Asher's deep brown eyes that looked a bit drained, the tired curve of his lips and couldn't hold back any longer.
Cailen darted forward, pressing his lips to his husband's, one hand resting against his cheek, the other hooked around the back of his neck and he wasn't letting go.
He kissed him with all the relief he felt that he was okay, with all the gratitude that he was here in the kitchen and not out in a burning house anymore. He kissed him with all the emotion he felt for him, with all the love he had for this man because he couldn't imagine a life without him and he wanted to show him that somehow.
When he pulled away, Asher had a dopey smile on his face.
"What was that for?" Asher asked, his voice deep and a bit raspy.
Cailen slid his hands over Asher's chest and shoulder, absentmindedly checking for any injuries, until they found their way back to hook themselves on the back of Asher's neck.
"Can't I kiss the man I love without questions being asked?" Cailen asked because he didn't feel like starting an argument over his stupid worries when they had other things to deal with.
"You can. In fact, it's encouraged." Asher grinned, leaning forward to peck Cailen's lips again.
Cailen hummed into the kiss, his lips forming a smile as he pulled away, which quickly disappeared as he could tell what Asher was about to ask.
"I'm guessing you didn't cut work to come home and surprise me with an hour of alone time." Asher said, silently asking what Ezekiel had done now.
"He threw a book at his teacher." Cailen informed him, watching as Asher hung his head and let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm telling you, he's trying to test us." Cailen continued, slipping his fingers into the hair at the nape of Asher's neck.
This wasn't the first time they've had this conversation and Cailen knew where it was headed before it even got there, but he supposed it was time.
"Then why don't we show him that he doesn't need to?" Asher asked, looking back up into the cerulean of Cailen's eyes. "Why are we waiting? The agency keeps calling, wanting a decision. What are we waiting for?" Asher asked.
This was a discussion Cailen often tried to avoid but he knew he couldn't put it off any further. Cailen had his reasons for waiting, reasons he hadn't voiced to Asher yet, so he figured it was time to tell him.
"Promise to hear me out?" Cailen asked, looking up at his husband.
"Of course." Asher answered automatically, his brows furrowed as if he were confused as to why Cailen would think he wouldn't.
"Okay, just- I'm a little worried he won't want to," Cailen said, holding up a finger to stop Asher from interrupting because he had said he would hear him out.
"I just don't want to pressure him, you know? I want him to be happy. Is that weird? Like- Ash, I care about him so much, just seeing him smile makes my day, seeing him smile makes all the bullshit worth it, you know? And I don't want to lose him. What if he doesn't want to be a part of our family? What am I supposed to do then?" Cailen asked because Ezekiel had become a huge part of his life in a few months and he couldn't lose the boy now.
"I think you're over-thinking, love." Asher said, leaning forward to place a warm kiss to Cailen's forehead. "Let me ask you something. When Eden took you in, what was the one thing you wanted?" Asher asked, more for Cailen's sake because Cailen knew his husband knew the answer to this.
"A family." Cailen replied but Asher shook his head.
"More specific than that." Asher encouraged, his arms around Cailen's waist tightening.
"Um, someone to take care of me?" Cailen asked more than said.
Asher nodded, a small smile crossing his lips.
"Someone to take care of you, someone who would love you," Asher clarified for him. "And what was your number one worry?" Asher asked as Cailen dropped his head onto Asher's shoulder, not following where Asher was taking this.
"That I would fuck it up." Cailen admitted.
"That they wouldn't love you," Asher clarified again. "Now… let me ask you something else. What do you think Zeke is thinking right now with us not making this official? He might be young, but he's not stupid. He knows the process just like you do.”
Asher pecked his temple before continuing. “He's probably in there, thinking that we don't love him, and I don't know about you, but I do. I love him, I don't want to lose him and I especially don't want him thinking we don't care about him."
Cailen nodded his head against Asher's shoulder, knowing he was right. This probably looked really bad to Ezekiel.
"I'm sorry. I know I worry too much." Cailen apologized, his voice muffled by Asher's shirt.
"I know you do, but that's just what you do." Asher teased.
"Shut up." Cailen mumbled shifting slightly to peck Asher's jaw.
"So? Shall we go sort this out?" Asher asked, pulling back slightly to meet Cailen's eyes.
Cailen nodded, smiling at his husband and quickly pecking his lips.
Cailen’s smile grew as he realized what they were going to do.
As long as Ezekiel wanted to, as long as he felt comfortable with them, they were going to adopt him.