Trisha
Instead of answering me, he only looked down as he let go of my hand and cheek. Silence filled the air between us, and only the sound of the waves are audible.
Why won’t he talk? What’s wrong with him?
“I-I think it’s better to just let it be.” He said as he turned his back towards me.
“Let it be? What do you mean by that?” I asked him. I’m very confused, what’s wrong with just telling me directly if we knew each other or not.
“Let’s go back to the tent, it’s getting cold.” He said as he walked outside the water and stopped, waiting for me to walk together with him.
“Come on, it’s dark. I can’t just leave you here.” He said as he turned to look at me.
His expression is the same as what he’s wearing earlier this afternoon. Pain, sadness, longing, and, confusion.
“Why won’t you tell me? I take it that we knew each other, since you’re acting this way. But why can’t I remember you?”
Although I’m looking at him, the question is directed towards myself than to him. Why can’t I remember him? The urge to know is becoming stronger and stronger.
I walked towards him and leaned on his back. My arms pressed against him as I rested my forehead.
“Who are you?” I closed my eyes, as I waited for him to answer. I can already feel my tears are flowing down my cheeks. Why am I crying? What is this feeling? Longing? Regret?
He then faced me and let me rest on his chest. His heart is beating loudly but he’s doing his best to compose himself.
“I am Art. Please, remember. We're friends ever since we were young. We used to go swimming and surfing together” He whispered to me while looking at me as if wanting me to recognize him.
Then everything went black.
Art
Trisha suddenly pushed me harshly and as I looked at her, her expression became horrifying. She’s looking at me right now the same way she looked at me when were younger. Although it’s dark, I know it’s the same look.
“Who are you?! Do you know me?! I know you know me!! Tell me! Why won’t you tell me?” She’s now shouting at me as she’s picking and throwing sand towards me.
I ran towards her, ignoring the sand coming towards me and embraced her. She’s struggling to pull herself out of my embrace.
“Let go of me! Who are you?! Art? Art!? I know you! Art, isn’t he dead?” She’s now breathing heavily.
“Didn’t I let him drown? If you’re Art, how are you alive?!”
Her parents told me after our accident she became emotionally and mentally unstable at times, the doctor said it’s because of trauma. That’s the reason why we can no longer see each other, because I’m her trigger. Seeing me, and knowing who I am would trigger her PTSD reaction.
I hugged her tightly trying to comfort her, but she even struggled even more.
“Let go of me! I need to know who you are! Let go of me! Let go of me.” She’s now punching my chest. She can punch me as much as she wants to, but I’m not letting her go.
“Shhh. Trish, please calm down.” I told her softly, but she still continued to struggle.
After a series of punching and shouting, I can feel her energy being drained.
“Who are you?” She then whispered as she stopped struggling. She’s now leaning on me, putting her weight on me. She can barely stand, so I assisted her as we sat down on the sand.
“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not Art.” I console her as I caress her hair gently.
“Then, who are you?” She whispered back to me, this time she’s already calm but still crying.
“I’m Fernandez, remember? Your classmate. We took the same program and have the same schedule.” I’m now trying to ease her mind.
She only nodded as she hold her forehead and pressed it with her fingers.
“Y-yeah, I remember.” She suddenly looked up at me. This time her eyes contained life again.
“W-what happened? Why are we now sitting on the sand? And why do I feel so tired?” She then leaned on me and closed her eyes.
She’s breathing normally now, and she’s sleeping soundly.
“I guess I can never have a normal life with you then. The past still holds us back. I told myself earlier, if this goes well without any attack-“
I sighed to myself as I felt myself starting to cry.
“Why? Why did we become like this? Why did I even challenge you? If I would’ve known this would scar us for life I-“
I sobbed as I continued to blame myself.
“Stupid Art. What did you expect? Just because everything went peaceful for a couple of months, you had your hopes up.”
I recalled our last drive out, her head ached when she tried to remember who I was. And now I even decided to tell her. Why did I even do that?
“I could’ve just let it be. I could’ve just live like we didn’t know each other before college.”
I shouldn’t have tried to tell her.
I sighed and I slowly carried her bridal style.
I looked down at her, her face is visible with the help of the light from the moon.
She’s sleeping peacefully, like nothing happened. She’s even snoring quietly.
I continued to walk towards the tent carefully, but every now and then I would stop and look at her face. Cherishing my last moments of seeing her this up close, last moments of seeing... her.
I put her down gently inside the tent.
“I can’t carry you up this hill, so I’ll just wait for you to wake up, then let’s go back to the dorm.” I whispered to her as I kissed her forehead.
“I’m sorry. I should stop hoping from now on, should stop waiting for you to remember.”
Trisha
“I’m sorry.”
Who was that? Why is he saying sorry to me? Where am I?
‘Welcome’
I saw the familiar signs. Okay, I’m dreaming. But I can’t seem to remember where I ended up sleeping or how I ended up sleeping.
I want to wake up to find out but my body refused to. Why am I so tired?
My surroundings changed and I saw him standing meters away from me. His facing the other side, looking at something.
I decided to step inside the frame and my surroundings changed as I continued to walk towards him.
We have a perfect view of the sunset and we are at a rooftop. I looked around, realizing where we actually are. It's not just any rooftop but our dormitory rooftop.
“Excuse me?” I stood beside him and looked at his face.
His crying.
“What’s wrong? why are you crying?” I asked him as I wiped his tears with a handkerchief.
He looked at me and smiled but his eyes are still screaming that he’s in pain.
“I-I want to tell you who I am in real life.” He told me.
I waited for me him to continue.
“I-I just couldn’t stand it. We’re so close, so near, but you could not recognize me. Every time we crossed paths, I’m fighting the urge to hug you immediately. To tell you who I am.” He’s now crying as he sat down the floor.
I hugged him immediately trying to comfort him.
“I could not stand seeing you look at me and not knowing who I am.” He continued.
“I can’t afford to lose you here too. You know that right?” He whispered.
“Y-yes I know. You once told me that.” I responded.
I also want to know who he is, and now I have a clue. I now know we’re living at the same dormitory, and we go to the same university.
“I’m at a dead end. We’re at a dead end. If you’ll know who I am, either you’ll forget me or you’ll no longer look at me the way you’re looking at me right now. You’ll change your mind about being with me.”
“Why do you think that?” I asked him. I’m confident that even in the real world, I’ll continue to love him the way I loved him here.
“I just don’t think, I know.” He’s now looking up at me. “I know you’ll change your mind once you’ll know who I really am.”
“You made it very clear in real life, you don’t want to be with me.”
“I did?” I whispered as I held his chin.
Since when did I do that? I thought harder and there’s only one person that came to my mind.
Is this Chris? Should I ask him? There’s no one else I could think of. We live in the same dormitory, we go to the same university. He mentioned about us crossing paths. He also suggested once, that we’ll cook here, when we just spent time cooking together in real life. He knew I was offered to join the Mathematician of the Year. He also knew of the circuit problem I solved on the sand.
I now recalled his mannerisms, his physique, his skin color, his hair. Everything pointed towards Chris.
I looked at him looking at me, I still did not let go of his chin. How should I react? I’m sure he’s Chris, but I felt lost. I don’t feel this way about Chris in real life. What he said about me, changing my mind if I know the truth, it’s, I hate to admit it, but it’s true.
I looked at him more closely this time, I can now imagine Chris’ face. Should I ask him?
Should I give him a chance in real life? It’s still him, right? He’s still the same guy that I spent every night with. Can I learn to love him in real life too?
Should I ask him? I thought harder if I should or should not.
“A-are you Chris?” I finally asked him.