Elena Sergio.
I was stuck in the middle of a circle where everyone's feelings were connected to me. The school wasn't going to be great as I keep getting disturbed about how I should live with all these going on. My feelings were still tormented by Matthews presence anytime I see him around and I couldn't give a definition to what I was feeling. He was still seen as my best friend in the eyes of everyone but what do I see when he stands in front of me?
I sighted KJ coming over to my table with his tray when it was time for lunch. He was walking suspiciously, probably looking out for someone not to see him around me as usual. I was tempted to lift my tray and move to the next table but there was no point running from him. He wasn't a beast physically but a monster at heart. It'd be best if we get to sit down and explain ourselves to each other once and for all.
"Hey. Can I sit here with you?" He sounded quite calm and less offensive. There were few empty seats around but he chose to be a reason for my anger this afternoon. I was ready to see how this will go.
"You can. After all, it's not filled by anyone," I rolled my eyes while I replied to him. He wasn't getting to me and I was irritated by his presence. I ignored him sitting and faced my meal. I was having a rice meal with an egg with a bottle of water by its side. Nothing beat this meal at this time of the day. I let my tongue explore the taste and the sensation it gave me. It was something to write home about.
Silence filled our presence the both of us. I expected him to come at me with an apology since that's how he does most of the time but here it was different. He sat quietly and munch his meal which was the same thing I had but the protein was different. He was having a beef instead. I could feel him staring at me while we ate but I look back at him, he would be staring at his meal. There I was trying to settle in this uncomfortable feeling I felt then I decided to break the silence.
"So we are just going to sit down here and act like you don't have anything to say to me because you do," I angrily dropped my spoon on my bowl and stared at him with so much glare on my face. He dropped his spoon just like I did earlier with a guilty look on his face and gave in to my demands.
"That's why I actually sat here just for you to hear me out," He replied, still sounding calm but I was disturbed deep down. I hated the way he was so calm but I loved it too. It woke my infatuated feelings for a short while till I got myself back to reality. I needed to hear what he had in mind to say.
"I know I've hurt you which I shouldn't have and deep down in my heart, I'm so sorry. I was blinded by Anabel's intention and as a new student then I was so gullible to fit in with the crowd forgetting all the manners that I'd been taught back at home. I shouldn't have messed around with you. I'm so sorry," He apologized as I expected but this time it felt different. He placed his palm on mine which caused an electrifying feeling in my soul. I couldn't explain what I was feeling but I felt good and I acted ignorantly. My eyes were on his face and I watched his lips move following his words. Such a beautiful rhythm. All I kept asking myself was *what am I thinking?"
"Elena, are you listening?" He waved his hands in circles towards my face. "You have that I-think-I'm-gonna-faint kinda face. Is everything alright?" He caught me off guard. I was lost in my thought.
"Yeah I'm fine," I don't know if I was being honest but I rubbed my hands on my head a bit. His words were getting to me and I somehow loved the feelings even while I was irritated. I pulled my hands away from his and he noticed but paid no attention to it.
"It's fine. I–" Just when I was about to finish my statement, my eyes saw Matthews from afar coming with his tray filled with his lunch. This time around his anger was detected. I was skeptical about Kadjiri being here with me, not to cause any commotion but I had no way of getting him away. Soon enough he arrived at my table, not saying a word.
"Hey Matt," I greeted first even while there was an awkward tension between the three of us. He was still standing up with his tray, rolling his eyes with a glare all over KJ. "Come on take a seat." He looked at me with his eyes browns raised wondering why I was still being seen with this dude, obviously Kadjiri. He sat as I requested but kept on staring at Kadjiri sitting in front of him.
"What are you doing with my girl KJ?" This took a fast turn while we ate our meals. Matthews glared at KJ sitting opposite him while he asked that question.
"Matthews please not now," I pleaded. I was trying so hard to avoid this getting worse or turning into a big fight.
"No Elena it's alright," Kadjiri turned to me and replied. "Matthews, I was just here to apologize but I'm taking my leave now." In my eyes, this was weird. Kadjiri wasn't planning on answering back with arrogance but rather moving away from the scene before bad energy began to spread. Without uttering any words, he picked up his meal and headed off to another table where Anabel arrived a few minutes later to keep him company.
"Matt, what was the meaning of that?" I frowned at him after KJ was gone. Yes, we were all angry at him for his wrongs but coming at him like that was unacceptable in my sight. I was pissed at him for not trying to her KJ out. We don't know the full story or why they planned on doing me dirty and I wasn't ready to stress it.
"What are you talking about?" He took a spoon from his meal, coincidentally the same as mine, which was probably the only meal available in school, and ignored my question.
"You know what I'm talking about! Quit pretending."
"So you're going to just forgive him like that?" He finally stopped playing dumb. He quit eating his meal and faced me to have a conversation.
"Even if I was, what's wrong about it?" I wasn't someone who kept malice for long obviously. Letting it go was all I had in mind. A new term, a new year, a new me.
"You must be kidding me! He messed you up!"
"Which was a mistake I get it. Do you expect me to keep holding on to it for long? I need to free my mind and be a better person. Being good starts with you." I was right about that. I was becoming a better person which I never saw in myself. Why can't I do unto others as I do to myself?"
"Whatever!" He backed out. "I'm not going to forgive him that easily." He was acting like a sissy.
"You'll. I'm sure." We were still eating our meals but done with the conversation. I couldn't help but notice Anabel and Kadjiri having a conversation on the other side of the cafeteria. Things seemed to be going smoothly for them better than how I saw them earlier. Kadjiri noticed my eyes and looked back at me. All I could do was smile back but it stopped when Anabel noticed and frowned at me.
This causes me to flashback to the past of how Anabel and I met and our relationship together. We were never seen this close except she had a hidden motive to bully me for the day. But this time it was different. Someone brought us together even if it was for a bad cause. She saw me as her competition which means she knew I was pretty. She had it in her mind all this while that I was perfectly made even though I had fairer skin than her.
Back then she would make my skin color obvious to me. She made it look like it was wrong to be in that color. Yeah, she was also fair but I was close to albinism. That was the center of the gossip and conversation she had with me most of the time but I never got the meaning. She was feeling inferior but I wasn't seeing it. I know I might be reading meanings to what might not be true but I was heading somewhere.
All those years I was down. I never believed I could be loved or accepted for who I was and who I chose to be. I hid in the shadows to avoid being noticed but for years I was running from something I couldn't change. When she stood up against me with her girls, Matthews would always come around and shove them away. He was always there by coincidence and hold me close to his side and stand against them. They knew he was my strength and would try to tease me when he wasn't seen around me. But I don't need that anymore. I still need my best friend and more beside me for we shall walk in this world through thick and thin but I don't need to hide anymore. I could explore clothes and different fashion trends that bring up my skin tone. My talent could be seen by the public once I let them out. I was going to be a happy person again.
My eyes came across Clara walking into the cafeteria to get her lunch as well. She wasn't far away so she could also see us perfectly which happened as I said. She rolled her eyes quickly and picked up her tray. I wasn't sure if she was going to head over to our table but if she did, another tension was going to be triggered by her presence. She did as I predicted within a few seconds, holding her tray up and posing while she stood.
"Hey Matt, what's up?" She greeted and smiled. A smile that wasn't looking genuine in my eyes. She pretended that she didn't see me and focused her sight on Matthews but I was unbothered. I had him now and anyhow she decide to deal with it, her problem.
"Clara good afternoon," Matthews was uneasy with the way he greeted formally.
"Can I sit down here? Other tables seem a little bit filled up," She requested with her smirky face all over Matthews. All I did was sit and enjoy the show or whatever it was.
"There are other tables still having empty seats. I could show you one if you care. Just like the one at my back," I replied while I fumed a bit and pointed to what I stated earlier, the empty table with seats on it.
"That's the thing, Elena. I never cared," That reply sounded harsh so fast. "And I'm sure Matthews doesn't mind or do you, Matt?" She faced him all giggly. It was annoying to watch and hard to tolerate.
"I don't mind. You can sit," He replied without paying attention to her face.
"You see Elena. He doesn't mind," She turned to me with a smirk on her face. She sat close to him trying to gain his skin contact. All I could see was someone seeking attention really bad from where she wasn't supposed to get it. I couldn't tell if I was jealous or not but I hated this feeling.