Camerron's Point of View
"Why are you smiling?"
Mommy greeted me when she opened the door for me. I just arrived from our tour, and she was waiting for me to arrive. She's so sweet. We left at the amusement part at 10PM because everyone enjoyed the amusement park so much.
After we got off the Ferris wheel, Nial take me to every places there but I don't even feel tired. He was really very happy earlier, he was very, very happy when we went down. I didn't even force him to take the other rides because even though I knew he already overcome his fear, he still had a hard time adjusting.
"You looks like you had a good time there."
If you only knew mom, if you knew how happy I am.
"I really enjoy it mom, as in really." I almost tore my lip with a smile.
"Obviously, eh."
She took me to the kitchen and he made some milk, gosh, my mommy is really so sweet.
“Feeling tired? You can go to sleep when you finish your milk. ”
She handed me a glass of milk. I reached for it with a smile on my face.
"No mom, I don't really feel tired."
"So, you can still tell me a story?"
I knew it. She just wanted me to tell here everything what happened on that tour.
"What makes you smile that way?" she began to ask. Looks like a long talk is going to take place tonight, ah.
"I just really enjoyed everything."
"And what's that 'everything'?."
Why am I happy? I can't explain either.
"I don't know, maybe because it's really fun being with Nial… I mean…"
Omg! Did I just really said that infront of her? You're such an idiot, Cams!
"So it's because of Nial?"
Oops! Because of mom's strange look, I drank the milk she made straight away.
I can't look directly at her because I know what he's thinking now.
"Hmm"
She suddenly stared at me as if scanning my whole body deep to my soul, uh-oh! I don't seem to like the way this conversation is going, ah.
"I'll explain, we're seatmates on the bus so we're also partners and the instruction to us is that the partners can't be separated so we're always together." I explained to her, I know I sound defensive but that's because it's true.
She did not speak immediately and only gave me a malicious look. Until suddenly her face became serious.
"Do you like him?"
I was stunned by her question. I was shocked , of all her questions, that was probably the only one that was very difficult to answer. I don't know the answer. I'm happy when I'm with him, I know he has a special part in my life, he makes my heart beat faster and he's the only one who can do that apart from my illness..
Even at times in my dreams he was only with me.
But… do I like him?
-
I've been yawning in class, I didn't really sleep well with mommy's question last night. I also didn't answer her because even I myself didn't know the answer to the question. So those four words kept me going all night.
Almost all of us were not in the mood and drowsy so it was refreshing that the room was so quiet now. Surely everyone also ran out of energy yesterday.
After my class I hurriedly went to the canteen.
"Excited to eat or excited to see Nial?" Clare blocked me in the corridor while smiling.
"Excuse me, I don't know you." I just glared at her and passed beside her which made her laugh more.
I entered the canteen straight away, I immediately looked around but I was disappointed when I couldn't see him around. Where is my Master again.
I checked my phone to see if he had a text or a call but he didn't even texted me. I went to her room but he wasn't there either. His classmate said he left because he had something to do but he didn't know where.
Because of irritation, I just went up to the room again and I decided not to eat lunch, I also lost my appetite.
"Oh, what happened to your face Cams?"
Clare greeted me as I entered the room. I just passed herand went straight to my seat. I suddenly lost my mood.
She sat in the chair in front of me.
"Don't bother me now, can you Clare?"
“Why are you so grumpy? Are you menstruating? ”
I looked at her, can't you see I’m not in the mood? Then she even wanted to tease me.
"Are you nad because you didn't see Nial?" I glared at her because of what she said.
"Wait, how did you know?"
"I just know?" she replied with a laugh.
Fortunately, the rest of our classmates were having lunch downstairs because this woman's mouth was so noisy.
I'm really annoyed and this woman keeps annoying me even more.
"Don't be shy about it, Cams." Sh touched her stomach while laughing non -stop. I just staring at her.
"Fine, but are you sure you don't want to know where Nial is?" she stopped laughing.
"It's okay if you don't want to say, I don't care where he is."
But of course it's just a joke. I really want to see that guy now so I can beat him, argh.
"Oww, really huh?"
I sit straight trying to ignore Claire.
"I'm pretty sure so leave me alone, please."
"You know I'm not that kind of friend and of course I know you also want to know where he is, you're too much in denial so I'll do you a favor."
I didn't understand what she said she just pulled me out of the room. We went up to the third floor and stopped opposite to the music room. What are we doing here.
"Why did you bring me here?" I wondered.
"I told you, I'll take you to your prince charming."
What? Prince charming?
She turned the doorknob but the door was locked.
"Wait, why is it locked, they were just here earlier." She said to herself as she's trying to open the door.
"I don't think anyone is here, let's go." I just scratched my head because she really trying to open the door.
"No, I know he's here."
She was not satisfied so she pulled back the curtain that covered the window to peek inside the room.
"OMG!" She covered her mouth and suddenly closed the curtain
"Why, what's happening?" I suddenly got curious because of her reaction.
“We need to go out of here, let's go." Her face becomes pale.
What happened to this woman?
"I'll take a look, move." I pulled him away so I can take a look inside.
"No, let's go."
"What? I'll just take a look."
“Stop Cams, you wanted to go already, right? So let's go.. ”
"Wait a minute, don't block me, get out of there."
I tried to move her from the window and pulled back the curtain to see what was inside. But I suddenly felt remorse when I saw what Clare saw.
Suddenly there was a pain inside of my chest, my breathing also stopped as if I had lost my breath. I wanted to lower the curtain and leave where I was standing immediately but my body didn't want to move.
I just remained staring at Nial as he hugged a woman. They stood in the middle of the music room. I suddenly wanted to cry because the pain I felt in my chest was getting worse.
That's the reason he didn't even remember me, because he's actually busy now.
“Cams are you ok? We can go downstairs, I'm sorry. ” I felt Clare's hand grip my arm.
"I-I'm okay Clare," I replied while still looking inside.
I slowly lowered the curtain and faced Claire because I couldn't even look at them. I smile at her, a fake smile.
I first walked down the stairs without looking at him because I feel anytime there will be tears in my eyes. What am I feeling? It's like something is stuck in my throat right now and I can't seem to breathe. It's very painful.
"Hey, wait for me." She calls me.
"I don't feel fine, Claire. Please just tell our teacher I'm going home."
I didn't wait for her answer, I kept going past our room. I can't afford to stay here anymore, I feel like my tears will fall any time.
“Wait Cams! Hey! ” I didn't look at her anymore, I just kept walking, I wanted to be alone.
I left school but I didn't go straight home, I needed a quiet place, the one where I was alone, the one where I could shout what I was feeling.
I walked, I just let my feet decide where it wanted to go because I also didn't know where I was going. The pain I feel in my chest doesn't go away, instead the pain seems to get worse. I also bumped into some people while walking but I still don't notice it.
I stopped as I noticed a crowded place and a bit uphill. There is a small mountain and a big tree standing on top. I don't know what went through my mind but I just saw myself walking towards that place. I don't know but I suddenly felt like I wanted to go there.
As I got closer and closer the place seemed to become familiar to me, I felt like I had been here, the whole area was familiar to me.
When I reached the big narra tree that I saw from below I was suddenly stunned. The scene of one of my dreams flashed back to my mind. I appeared next to the tree while my head was resting on Nial's shoulder. We leaned on the trunk of the tree while enjoying the fresh air that was going on our bodies. But suddenly it disappeared when the pain in my chest started to get worse.
I approached and go in the shade of a tree, overlooking the beautiful view of the place where I was located. I want to shout, I want to express how I feel.
"Ahhh! You are annoying Master! You are so bad! You're the worst person I've ever met! "I shouted loudly but the pain didn't seem to go away. It's so annoying!
"I'M MAD AT YOU! I'M SO ANGRY WITH YOU! ”
Suddenly, I felt the wetness of my cheek and when I touched it my tears kept flowing. The tears I wanted to stop earlier is now flowing like a river. Why am I like this, I also can't understand myself. Why do I feel like this.
I just cried and cried while leaning against the tree. I feel like the pain is no longer normal. Gradually I felt my chest tighten as well as the depth of my breathing. I feel weird and I don't think it's because of Nial.
I tried to stand up but I just fell down again due to sudden dizziness. Shit! I can't have a heart attack here. I looked around but no one came to this place, I was rolling my eyes because of the increasing dizziness.
No...
“H-help…”
The last word I said before I completely lost consciousness