Thinking slowly, Christabel tried to imagine how hard it was to find love. Was she dreaming? Was she watching him with her two blank eyes, taking her on a spin and talking to her as if he didn't see what was on the newspaper? She squeezed her face as she thought of the image of her being with him in her mind. She felt they had something together even though they had just met recently. She felt what they had was special and no one else could understand what they had. But, despite all she felt about him at the moment, she was yet to understand him. She didn't understand him because she was more focused on protecting her heart than letting him inside it.
Calmly, she sat down and gently pushed strands of her hair behind. She didn't want her eyes to be covered with her hair at the moment while she tried to think. She wanted to be free to think. She wanted to be free to explore her mind as far as she could.
She sat down there for almost thirty minutes before Samantha came inside and asked her what was wrong with her. Instead of talking, she took the newspaper that Nicholas had showed her the previous day and turned to the page where the picture of Nicholas and Jessica was perfectly laid out.
"She is beautiful," Samantha commented.
"Yes, she is," Christabel was in no mood to argue as she took away the newspaper from Samantha's face. "She is very beautiful and she is the one Nicholas is going to replace me with. It is fine to feel pity for me. I wasn't meant to be among the rich in the first place."
"Don't say that to yourself," Samantha said, grabbing a chair and moving closer to Christabel. "You have everything inside of you that makes you perfect. You have a beautiful smile. Your eyes are well placed on your face. Above all, you have a wonderful attitude towards people. . . Most men are concerned about the attitude of a woman than the woman's appearance."
"I disagree," Christabel said, taking the newspaper and turning to the page proudly carrying the picture of Nicholas and Jessica. "Can't you look at her, Samantha? There is so much beauty and pride in her. You can't compare me to her. I am way below her when it comes to standards. Just take a good look at her hair."
Samantha took the newspaper from her again and looked at the hair of Jessica. It was nice. It was neat.
"Her hair is beautiful," she agreed.
Christabel took the picture away from her and dropped it on the table. She gently pushed her hair backwards as she tried to imagine herself possessing the hair that Jessica had.
"I wish I had her hair," she said.
"I wish I had her hair too," Samantha supported the statement quickly without having a small fraction of doubts in her voice. "Her hair is really beautiful if you ask me. And, honestly, it is one of a kind."
Christabel rubbed her hair gently as she tried her best to not let the words of her friend get to her head. Although she knew that Samantha meant no harm when she was complimenting Jessica Bolton's beauty, she still felt inferior as she listened to her say wonderful things about the woman who was starting to look like a worthy competitor.
"How long have you and him been dating?" Samantha asked.
Christabel found the question rather funny because she couldn't tell how long she had been dating Nicholas because they were not officially dating. She found the question rather amusing because she could not picture a time or place where Nicholas actually asked her to be his girlfriend. They just started like that and since then, they have been moving without stopping.
"How long have you and Nicholas Wild being in a relationship?" Samantha asked again.
"I don't know," Christabel answered truthfully. "We never officially decided to go into dating. It all started from the hospital. After what happened between us at the hospital, we got so close in a way I can't explain," she paused and stood up from where she was sitting and walked to where the television rested. She quickly placed her hands behind the television and brought out a necklace that Nicholas had given to her while they were at the hospital.
"He gave me this," she said, bringing the necklace closer to Samantha for her to see.
"What is it?" Samantha asked as if she was not clearly seeing what was on Christabel's hand.
"It is a necklace," Christabel replied. "Nicholas gave it to me before I left the hospital. He said the necklace was going to protect me wherever I went to in my life and it was going to be a constant reminder that he will always be on my mind," she dropped the necklace on the table, slowly. "Looking at the necklace now, Samantha, I don't know if there is a reason why I should believe him. He seems to be far away in my life and any time I close my eyes to think about him, I see that picture on the newspaper. It reminds me that there is so much more in him that I should have seen. It reminds me that there is a lot of reason why I should not trust him in the first place."
Samantha shook her head. "I don't completely agree with you on your analysis about Nicholas Wild. I may not have known him physically, but from the little you have told me about him, I feel he is good enough for me come to the conclusion that he is a good man. Maybe you need to talk to him about it. Maybe you need to sit down with him in a quiet place and tell him how you feel about him getting married to someone else. You never know what is going on in his mind unless you try to ask. Instead of thinking he is going to leave you for a woman dressed in a stylish gown, you have to stay positive and believe he is going to see more in you than he will see in her."
"I have to stay positive," Christabel said to herself, trying to build some confidence within. "I have to tell myself that I am good enough for Nichols Wild and there is no one in this whole world who is good to be his wife."
"That is positivity speaking through you," Samantha smiled. "Even though you are not married to him, I am glad to know you desire getting married to him. It is not easy to deal with the feeling of seeing the person you love standing by the side of a woman who wants to marry him. So, I understand how you feel, Christabel. You don't have to be too hard on yourself. I believe everything will sort out itself in the right time."
"I believe that too," Christabel tried to form a smile on her face. It was a weak smile. "It is funny how we both know what our hearts want even when our lips are saying a different thing entirely. We could be walking along a lonely road, talking to each other about the moon, stars and the sun. Yet, our hearts will keep on screaming the bond we share with each other. Love is a good feeling, Samantha. It is a good feeling I don't want to lose because of a woman who I have no idea about."
"That is true and terrible," Samantha said, returning her gaze back to the newspaper to take a good look at the picture of Jessica Bolton presented as a beautiful gift from heaven. "She is really beautiful and also evil. As long as she desires the man you love in her heart, she is purely evil. There is no way she can defend herself because she is highly involved in this deceitful plan to take away Nicholas from you."
Christabel sighed. "How are you sure? How do we know she was part of Nicholas parents' plan to take him away from me? She could be innocent in everything that is happening in her life. I suggest we don't jump into conclusions so we won't end up accusing her for something she knows nothing about."
Samantha hissed and took the newspaper again. She stared at the picture of Jessica Bolton. There was so much pride in Jessica's face and it annoyed her to the core. She theew the newspaper on the ground and started stepping on it as quickly as possible before Christabel could ask her to stop.
"This is unnecessary," Christabel said once Samantha was done satisfying her heart desire. "Stepping on a picture of Jessica and Nicholas is not going to change the fact that they are going to both get married in the end."
"I know," Samantha agreed with Christabel. "It might not change the fact they their marriage has been fixed. Still, it gives me a lot of pleasure to know I have dealt with my friend's rival."
*
Christabel was quiet as she sat alone with Nicholas Wild, thinking about how she was going to respond to what he was saying to her. She was both shocked and confused. The words Nicholas had said to her was expected, but she didn't expect him to say it exactly the way he was saying it now.
"My parents wants me to marry Jessica Bolton," Nicholas repeated for the third time. "They believe if our families and their families merge together, it is going to be a wonderful combination. Despite being stubborn to their views, they still insist the marriage is going to go on. I don't know what I am going to do now, Christabel because I feel so lost and alone. I came here, hoping you were going to help me figure out the proper decision to make in this case."
"Leave her," Christabel replied quickly. "Leave her and don't look back at her face once you do it. Leave her and don't make it seem as if you care because you and I both know you don't care about this woman and you don't want to find yourself in a relationship with someone you don't care about."
"Why should I leave her?" Nicholas asked as if he didn't have a strong reason to leave her, as if he didn't know he was interested in Christabel and she was also interested in him.
"Me!" Christabel echoed. "Leave her because of me. Leave her because of everything you said to me at the hospital. Remember how you talked about the way your parents were treating you. Remember how you told me you were interested in getting to know me to a deeper level because all your life, you have been running away from people. You have been running away from people because of the fear of getting your heart broken. If you choose her over me, you break my heart. And, even though, we haven't known each other for quite a long time, I want you to know that you have gotten deep inside my head."
"You have gotten deep inside my head too," Nicholas exhaled. "There is nothing more I want in this life now than to be by your side every day of my life. I know my parents are going to try their best to come between us. I know they are going to use all the power they have in this city to make sure we don't be together. I can't promise you anything at the moment, Christabel. But, I want you to know that I am going to try my best to fight for us because you mean so much to me and I mean so much to you."
There was a brief silence.
"What are we going to do?" Christabel asked, moving closer to him. "I know it is going to be difficult to go against your parents. They have a lot of connections in this city to make life miserable for both of us. We have to think fast if we don't want your marriage to hold."
"Yes! We have to think fast," Nicholas agreed with her. "We have to make good use of our brains so we won't be found wanting."
"What suggestion do you have in mind?" Christabel asked.
"I am still thinking," Nicholas answered her. "It is not easy to come up with a good idea especially when it has to involve fighting against my parents. They are very hard people to crack. And, you have to think carefully so you won't fall in their trap. You have to pretend as if you are playing their game so you won't be caught unaware by them."
"What do you want us to do then?" Christabel asked again.
Nicholas brought his hands and folded it together. He knew it was going to be difficult thinking of a way to mess with his parents' minds because they were too hard for him or anyone to deal with in the first place.
"We have to play along," he said after a brief moment of thinking. "We have to pretend as if we are complying with their plans while we start searching for alternatives to make sure I don't get married to Jessica Bolton."
"What do you mean by we have to play along?" Christabel asked, trying to make sure she understood the point Nicholas was making.
"Yes!" Nicholas' voice was deep. "We have to play along, Christabel. We have to pretend as if we are going to go through with the marriage while we work on finding another alternative."
"What is we here?" Christabel frowned. "You are using the word in a way that makes it seems like we are both getting married to her when you know you are the only one who is going to get married to her. If we play along with what your parents wants and you get married to her, what is the assurance I am going to get that you are going to come back to me instead of spending time building your new marriage?"
"I promise you that I am going to get back to you," Nicholas tried to calm her down. "No matter what happens to you, I am going to get back to you, Christabel Bloom. I am going to get back to you and marry you because you know fully well that I love you."
Christabel exhaled as she tried to trust the words that were coming out from his mouth. She stiffened as she tried to accept that she was loved by him and there was nothing anyone was going to do to change the fact.
"It is hard for me to believe you," she confessed. "I want to believe you love me and you are not going to leave me once you are married to her, but it is hard. Why don't you put yourself in my shoes in the first place and see how it feels to feel the way I feel? We know how marriages are, Nicholas Wild. You probably may never have had any feelings for Jessica Bolton in your mind, but when you get married to her, everything about her changes in your mind. Whether you like it or not, you have have accept she is your wife. Whether you like it or not, you have to accept you have an opportunity to have sex with Jessica Bolton whenever you want because she is your wife. And, once you are married, everything about us changes. The promises you are making to me will start to reduce until it completely falls down flatly and there is nothing else you have to say to me to give me some hope about a future with you because you are already trapped in your marriage with her. Forgive me, Nicholas, I can't agree with your idea. We can't pretend we are going to let you marry her and everything is going to be fine between us. It might be fine for you because you are the one who is getting married anyway. But, it won't be fine for me in any possible way available. If we want to do this, we have to do it my way. I am not going to stand here and watch the man who has done everything to get to my heart to leave me when I know fully well that there is something I can do to make him stay."
Nicholas shook his head and moved closer to Christabel. They were inches away from each other and could hear each other's breathing. He knew she was afraid of losing him. He knew he was afraid of losing her too. But, when it came to a matter that involved his parents, fear was something that had to be avoided if there was any way he had to try to think clearly.
"I know you love me," he said slowly. "I love you too even though I don't say it out loud all the time. I love you a lot and that is why I came up with this brilliant idea so we can find a way to be together," he stopped talking and looked directly at her eyes. She was paying attention to him and it made him feel pleased. "My parents are dangerous. When they notice a hole anywhere, they are ready to do everything in their power to make sure they find that hole. The reason why I am saying we play the game their way is because I want to get married to you. If I walk back to my house, raise my voice and tell them that I am not going to get married to Jessica Bolton, I am going to put my whole future at risk. And, putting my future at risk is the same thing with putting our future at risk. So, if you want us to work, we have to try our best to be patient and follow my plans," he stopped again and looked at Christabel in the eyes. "I love you, Christabel Bloom."
Christabel moved away from him uneasily. She stared at his eyes and looked away. It was hard for her to tell him she loved him back even though she knew that she loved him.