CHAPTER NINE
I Was Missing My Childhood
I was rapidly growing and Mother loved it. It was a period of time in my life when growing up was inexcusable. I watched myself grow from within. The size of my heart was rapidly expanding. My finger-sized penis soon ate flesh and nearly put me into trouble. It was called that ‘thing’ because it was considered offensive to be openly pronounced by little children. It was one of my body parts that grew to my surprise that sometimes I asked why it was so. All around it grew hairs, likewise other body parts of mine. My emotional level grew rapidly and I was sometimes dying in silence. It was a sign that I was growing from a boy to a young man.
The many plates of food, which I had eaten, which for some time seemed a waste because of my stunted growth, had begun to manifest. My rapid growth earned me privileges which I was not willing to go into. I would be expected to do men’s work in our farm. Also, it meant I was ready for initiation into the age grade. This would allow me go to the river to fish and work with groups that repairs old houses for the aged people in the village and clear farm paths.
I was closer to Mother now and she was my best companion. From the death of my father, she ceased to keep company of her old friends and even the company of our neighbors who naturally could have been a comfort. I detest this style of her for it made me feel lonely from my mates who live in our neighborhood.
Despite Mother’s effort and love for me, sometimes I proved stubborn to her. It was a sign that I was growing into a young man, ready to make decisions and be separated from her. She beats me sometimes for that and consoled me thereafter. Her beatings were hard and in time my young body mastered it. I was no longer anxious about it. Whenever she beats me I would cry loud, throw myself on the earth floor of our compound and roll about as if I were in great pain and agony. It was a way to make her stop. She would leave me satisfied that I had learned my lessons and talk thereafter many things to make me think. She beats me like she would to a brother rather than her own son. In her mind, she wanted me to learn hard and fast. I was only grown to see that the burden of headship was too heavy.
The beatings became a regular occurrence especially when I beat my younger ones or complain of food and errands. She beat me hard, kicked me and threw anything she could lay her on hands at me. I would raise my voice high and the cry would summon people from the neighborhood that sometimes intervened and stopped the trouble. The women would encourage her to take it easy with me, pointing to their children as just the same. Some would say, I was a good boy and that she should only give me little time to make changes. I had no house to run to during those beatings as our whole house was fenced with palm frond. My grandfather’s home would have been a place to run to, but he had died long ago.
I knew that most times, I did not start the quarrel with Mother, but I felt sorry for her deep down in my heart for she had suffered terribly to keep us. I did not count her beatings as anything because I supported her afterward after each incident and soon we laughed together and the quarrel was smoothed out.
My Mother only wanted me to take responsibility, as I would soon grow up without a man to be on my side. She too would someday look up to me to make certain decisions about the family. She was only a woman and considered that I carried the authority of the family more than she does and that any mistake from me would affect the bodily development of my younger ones. Though Ukeje had pestered around me so as to use me to gain Mother’s favor, but it did not work. His marrying Mother would have been the worst thing ever to happen to us. We would be at loss in everything.
With time, Mother adjusted. She beats me less hard and made me happy with good remarks. At least for those times we enjoyed real peace and calm home.
There were times mother needed to cool her head off worries. She would openly say so and we were happy with her.