Okay, his last statement made me stop in my tracks.
He’s going to help me survive? 
How would he do that? Heck, I never even thought that surviving is possible.
I guess other people can do it, yes, but me? I am a rare and severe case in my opinion. I don’t think help would do any good. Similar to a terminal illness, I am incurable.
“Look, Chaos, I deeply appreciate your willingness to help me. At the same time, I don’t want to keep your hopes up high. I myself know that I am a hopeless case,” I said, staring directly at his eyes.
I want him to see how I stand firm with this decision of mine. Heaven knows what help can only do best.
However, there is a tiny voice speaking on the back of my mind. 
Are you really a hopeless case? Or you just don’t want to receive any help? Admit it, you don’t want to survive, Tanleigh.
I know. I don’t need help because I don’t want any help. Funny, isn’t it? Someone here in front of me is willing to help, but I, myself, evade it. I want to be gone. People keep on saying ‘see the bright side’ or ‘it’s a matter of perspective’, no, I don’t think it is as simple as that.
“Leigh, trust me, you can. Nothing is impossible if you really want to survive. Find a reason to live.” I can feel the sincerity in his voice. But then again, what is there to live for?
I don’t even think that the ‘reason to live’ concept is real.
“I can’t, Chaos. I can’t find any reason to stay. And I really appreciate it but I don’t want to survive either. I’ve had enough. I am sick of living already. It’s just the same cycle for me,” my voice laced a hint of tiredness,
“Then think of me. Me who is trying to get you out of that cycle.”
I was taken aback with his retort. He wants what? Make him my reason? I want to laugh it off. All my life I have been trying to find a reason but failed. So if I said that I don’t want this life anymore, I really don’t want it.
“Come on, Leigh. Just picture me in your head. Believe in me, please? I’m more than willing to help you,” he said while caging my hands with both of his palms
“And why would I do that? Surely, you’re not serious with that, are you? Because if you are, then why? I want to know your reason why you are that eager to help me? Why can’t you just let me be? Leave me alone. Come what may.” I struggled as I tried to retrieve my hands from his hold.
“Just please, Leigh, I can’t answer that right now. Not when I haven’t sorted things out myself. I just need you to trust me. I need you to believe in me,” Chaos answered back while tightening his grip on my hands. 
“Chaos, let go!” 
Those words struck like lightning. It’s like a forbidden magic word to have him let go of his hold on me. I massaged it and immediately hid it in my back. I can still feel the ache from his tight grip.
While I was looking at him intently, anxious that he might get a hold of them again, I heard a small laugh from him. My brows knitted together in confusion.
At this point, I personally think he's crazy.
He shook his head as his laughter started getting louder before he stopped completely.
He looked above then sighed. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I think I’m borderline crazy already.”
“Yes, you are,” I said simply. Being able to talk so casually like this is quite liberating. It feels so good.
“You said let go so I did. I don’t know, something just came over me and your voice echoed.”
I shook my head in response and rolled my eyes at him. There is just something about him and his aura that makes me act so casually like I’ve never walked on eggshells for all my life.
“You’re totally creeping me out. I just said let go because my hands hurt from your grip and now you’re telling me that my voice echoed?”
He shrugged. 
“Anyway, I’m serious, Leigh. Please, let me help you,” he continued to convince me despite my previous protests.
“And I have also asked why. Of all people, why me? Why can’t you just come and go like others? There is no need to be here, stuck with me, forcing yourself to help me. In the first place, I never needed the help.” 
“Then fine, I’ll tell you. But promise me that you won’t run nor stay away from me after this.” I nodded profusely.
I tried to speak but my throat ran dry. I can’t say anything. And his aura right now, together with the way he spoke gave me the creeps.
He paused for a couple of minutes. When I waved my hand in front of him, it looked like he’s just back from zoning out.
“Honestly, Leigh, I want to help you not because you’re struggling. I know a lot of people are also fighting for their own bottles. I don’t know, I know it’s wrong, but my f**king self can’t help it. Remember when I told you that your voice echoed? I don’t know but your voice suddenly shifted and turned into hers. And whenever I look at you, I see her face. I know it’s wrong because I see her ghost in you, but I am also really sincere when I asked you to let me help you. I don’t want anyone to have the same fate as her.”