That morning, the sun had just begun to rise from the eastern horizon. Dim light filtered through the gaps in the leaves, casting shadows on the worn wooden walls of their hideout.
Rayyan sat at the edge of the bed, gripping his phone tightly.
A new message came in.
> "We've got your location signal. Get ready. We're coming."
Rayyan’s heart felt as if it was being crushed.
The police had found them.
And it was his fault.
His fists clenched tightly. He should have felt relieved.
But why did it feel like he had just sold his own soul?
He sat frozen for a long time before panic suddenly engulfed him.
No.
This couldn't happen.
With ragged breaths, Rayyan stood up and hurled his phone against the wall with all his might.
CRASH!
The phone shattered. Its screen cracked badly, with fragments scattering across the floor.
Rayyan wiped the sweat off his face.
He had made his decision.
He wouldn’t betray Rinthara.
The creaking of the bed made Rayyan turn around.
Rinthara stretched slowly, her slanted eyes barely opening.
"Rayyan…?" Her voice was hoarse, still half-asleep.
Rayyan approached her. His gaze was filled with emotion as he looked at her face.
"Rinthara, we need to leave."
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
Rayyan took her hand, his voice rough. "I made a mistake. I was supposed to protect you, not betray you."
"I'm sorry, Rinthara."
His breath hitched, his eyes brimming with tears.
"I was stupid… I was too afraid. Too confused."
"But now, I’m sure."
"I just want to be with you."
Rinthara stared at him for a long time. In her eyes, there was pain. There was disappointment.
But then, she took a deep breath.
And smiled faintly.
"Are you sure, Rayyan?"
Rayyan nodded firmly.
"I'm sure. I love you, Rinthara."
For the first time, he admitted it without hesitation.
Rinthara was stunned for a moment, but then her eyes began to glisten.
She pulled Rayyan into her arms.
"I love you too, Rayyan."
They held each other tightly, as if the world around them no longer existed.
But then…
BAM! BAM! BAM!
The cabin door was slammed forcefully from the outside.
"POLICE! SURRENDER OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE!"
Rayyan’s heart nearly stopped.
Rinthara flinched, her face changing drastically.
"Rayyan…" she whispered, her eyes filled with suspicion.
Rayyan was silent, his body frozen.
He was too late.
Too late.
The police were here.
"RAYYAN! RINTHARA! SURRENDER NOW!"
"WE DON’T HAVE TIME! WE HAVE TO RUN!"
Rayyan grabbed Rinthara’s hand.
But she didn’t move.
Her eyes were now sharp.
"You lied to me, Rayyan?"
"No! I swear—"
"YOU LIED TO ME?" Rinthara’s voice trembled, filled with anger and betrayal.
"No! I didn’t know! I didn’t give the signal! I swear, Rinthara!"
But they had no time.
The cabin window shattered.
Tear gas was released.
They coughed. Their eyes burned.
"RUN!" Rayyan pulled Rinthara, smashing through the back door and sprinting towards the forest.
Bullets erupted behind them.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Rinthara pulled out a pistol from her waistband and fired back.
Bullets clashed with bullets.
But the police were overwhelming.
Rinthara yanked Rayyan behind a large tree.
Blood trickled from her shoulder.
She had been shot.
"Rinthara!" Rayyan pressed against the wound, panicked.
"I won’t let them take me alive."
Rayyan cupped her face, tears spilling over.
"Don’t say that! We can run! We can live together!"
But Rinthara only gave him a weak smile.
"Rayyan…"
"I was never afraid to die. But I’m afraid of losing you."
"I don’t want you to die with me."
Rayyan's tears flowed harder.
He couldn’t live without Rinthara.
But he also couldn’t fight her on this.
"I LOVE YOU, RAYYAN."
And with one last deep breath,
Rinthara leaped out from their hiding spot.
And she opened fire.
"NO!!!"
Rayyan tried to pull her back, but everything happened too fast.
Bullets collided with Rinthara’s body.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Her body staggered.
Rayyan rushed forward and caught her before she hit the ground.
"Rinthara! Rinthara!"
Blood soaked his clothes.
Rinthara's breathing slowed.
"Don’t… leave me…" Rayyan's voice shook, his hands gripping her tightly.
But Rinthara only smiled…
Her weak hand touched Rayyan’s cheek one last time.
"Don’t cry… Love…"
And finally, her eyes closed.
Rayyan screamed.
But no one cared.
The police stormed towards them.
Rayyan didn’t resist.
He just kept holding Rinthara’s lifeless body.
The rain began to fall, soaking them.
But no rain could wash away his sins.
No rain could bring back the woman he loved.
Rinthara was gone.
The rain fell endlessly.
Cold.
Silence gnawed at every inch of Rayyan’s body, but the pain in his heart was far worse than the rain that drenched him.
He still cradled Rinthara’s body, which was growing colder.
Her blood mixed with the rainwater, forming a thick red stream on the ground.
Rayyan didn’t move.
He refused to let go.
He knew that if he did, it meant he had to accept the truth.
The truth that Rinthara was truly gone.
But the police didn’t give him a choice.
A police officer stepped closer. “Rayyan, let her go.”
Rayyan didn’t listen.
He just stared at Rinthara’s lifeless face.
His fingers brushed her cheek, but there was no warmth left.
Rayyan’s chest felt as if it was being stabbed repeatedly.
“Wake up, love…” he whispered softly, his voice hoarse.
“Don’t leave me like this…”
But there was no answer.
No more of Rinthara’s teasing voice. No more of her sharp, thrilling laughter. No more of her warm touch against Rayyan’s skin.
Only silence.
The police grabbed his shoulders.
“Rayyan, we have to go.”
But Rayyan only tightened his grip on Rinthara.
“Don’t take her from me!” he screamed, his eyes flooded with tears.
“DON’T TAKE HER FROM ME!”
But the police didn’t care.
Rough hands pulled him away forcefully.
“NO! LET ME STAY WITH HER!”
Rayyan struggled, but they forced him to the ground.
His face was pressed into the mud, his hands cuffed behind his back.
But he didn’t care.
His eyes remained fixed on Rinthara’s body.
Her face was still the same—but empty.
No more fiery rage.
No more warmth that once drove Rayyan insane.
She was truly gone.
And Rayyan knew…
He would never forgive himself.
---
Three days later.
A wooden coffin was lowered into the ground.
The sky was overcast, but the rain didn’t fall.
Rayyan stood by the grave, staring at the tombstone blankly.
"Rinthara Wichai."
No birthdate. No last words.
Just a name that was now a memory.
He didn’t cry anymore.
Not because he had accepted it.
But because he had lost everything.
He didn’t know how to keep living without Rinthara.
But that was his punishment.
He had betrayed Rinthara.
And now, he had to live with that wound forever.
---
Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur
Rayyan sat on the floor of his dark room.
The lights were left off.
The curtains were drawn shut, as if the outside world didn’t deserve to see his ruin.
His hand clutched a nearly empty bottle of liquor, but the guilt weighing down his heart never lessened.
He had lost Rinthara.
And it was his fault.
"I’m sorry…"
His hoarse voice echoed in the silent room.
"I’m sorry, Rinthara… I was a fool… I betrayed you…"
His hands trembled.
Tears streamed down his face endlessly.
He gripped his own hair, screaming in anguish.
But no one heard.
Nobody cares.
Just like he never cared about Rinthara's feelings before.
Now, he was the one suffering the consequences.
Living without Rinthara was more painful than death.
Sometimes, he talked to himself in the dark.
Rinthara’s shadow was always in his mind.
Her smile.
Her laughter.
The gaze in her eyes—cynical, yet the very thing that made Rayyan fall in love over and over again.
But all of it was just a memory now.
A memory that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
He couldn’t go back to Thailand.
He couldn’t return to the same life.
But he also didn’t know how to keep living without Rinthara.
Every night, he wished time could rewind.
So he could make a different choice.
So he could run away with Rinthara.
But reality was never that kind.
And he knew, no matter how many times he screamed apologies…
Rinthara would never come back.
Rayyan sat on the balcony of his house, staring at the dark night sky.
He took a deep drag of his cigarette, but the smoke filling his lungs did nothing to ease the weight in his heart.
"I'm a fool, aren't I?"
He spoke to himself.
"I could’ve saved you… but I was scared. I wasn’t strong enough. I let you die, Rinthara."
His tears fell before he even realized it.
He used to hate killers.
He used to hate evil.
But now, he was worse than all of them.
Because he betrayed the one who loved him.
"I know you're angry, but… I miss you."
He exhaled a weak stream of smoke.
"You should never have fallen in love with me."
The night breeze brushed against his skin, and suddenly, he felt like someone was standing behind him.
Rayyan turned.
His heart nearly stopped.
In front of him stood Rinthara.
She was still beautiful.
Still mesmerizing.
But those gray eyes had lost their light.
Rayyan swallowed hard.
He knew this couldn't be real.
But he didn’t want to look away.
"Rinthara…"
Rinthara smiled faintly—the smile that always drove him insane.
"Are you still living with guilt, Rayyan?"
Rayyan bit his lip.
His voice trembled.
"How am I supposed to keep living? I killed you, Rinthara."
Rinthara stepped closer and held out her hand.
Rayyan wanted to touch her… but his hand passed through empty air.
"I never blamed you, Rayyan."
Rayyan shook his head quickly, his tears falling harder.
"Don't lie, Rinthara… Don't give me false hope…"
Rinthara smiled again, this time, more painfully.
"You know I loved you, right?"
Rayyan lowered his head.
He was shaking.
"Don't say that… I don't deserve it—"
"Rayyan?"
Another voice shattered his thoughts.
Rayyan flinched and turned around.
His younger sister, Rania, stood there, eyes wide as she watched him talk to himself.
"Brother… why are you crying?"
Rayyan froze.
He looked back to his side.
Rinthara was gone.
Only the night wind brushed his face.
Rayyan forced a small smile and wiped his tears roughly.
"I'm fine…"
But Rania wasn’t stupid.
She stepped closer and took his cold hand in hers.
"You saw her again, didn't you?"
Rayyan didn’t answer.
He just shut his eyes, holding back the sob that was rising in his throat.
Because the answer was clear.
Rinthara would never leave his mind.
And he had to live with that loss… forever.
•••
A week had passed.
Rayyan’s house had grown even quieter.
The curtains in his room were never drawn, keeping the sunlight locked out.
The only sound in that space was his own voice.
“Rinthara, I returned this ring…”
He spoke to himself, sitting on his bed, his eyes red and swollen.
His hand clutched a white gold ring—one that once belonged to Rinthara.
He gave a small, empty smile.
"You said you loved me… I was a fool to believe you would be safe."
His trembling fingers tightened around the ring.
His gaze drifted to the wall.
There, in the center of his bulletin board, was a picture of Rinthara he had printed himself.
"I promised… I promised I'd make sure you’d live happily… But I was the one who pulled the trigger, wasn’t I?"
He let out a small laugh.
A laugh that grew louder and louder.
Until finally…
He cried again.
"I promised…"
He buried his face in his hands.
His sobs turned violent.
Laughter, tears, and the voices in his head swirled together.
"I promised…"
"I promised I'd take you out of that world."
"But I was the one who destroyed you."
He pulled at his hair.
He looked at the mirror in front of him.
His reflection…
He didn’t recognize the man staring back at him.
Sunken eyes.
A face covered in unshaven stubble.
Clothes reeking of neglect—he couldn’t even remember the last time he showered.
He stood up, walking slowly towards the mirror.
“Rinthara, would you believe me if I said I still love you?"
His reflection gave no answer.
But Rayyan smiled anyway.
As if she were still there.
"I know you miss me too…"
He reached out, wanting to touch the reflection he believed was Rinthara.
But—
The moment his fingers touched the glass, the voices in his head exploded.
“YOU'RE A TRAITOR, RAYYAN!!!”
His eyes widened.
He stumbled back.
No… No… That wasn’t Rinthara’s voice.
He clutched his head.
“Shut up… shut up… SHUT UP!!!”
He slammed his head against the wall.
"Don’t say that! I didn’t betray her!"
But the voices only grew louder.
“YOU LET THE POLICE IN!!!”
“YOU LET HER DIE, RAYYAN!!!”
"YOU KILLED HER!!!"
"YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!!!"
Rayyan screamed and hurled a chair at the mirror.
The glass shattered into countless shards.
For a moment, the room fell silent.
Rayyan collapsed onto the floor.
Blood dripped from his hands, cut by the broken glass.
But he felt no pain.
He was far beyond feeling anything.
He lowered his head, letting out a small chuckle.
And then… he cried again.
Rayyan sat there, his bloodied hands gripping his head.
The voices in his mind still hadn’t faded.
But among the whispers and screams, he heard something else.
A voice he longed for.
“Rayyan…”
That voice…
Rinthara’s voice.
Slowly, Rayyan lifted his gaze.
In front of him, Rinthara stood.
Dressed in all black, just like before.
Still with that sharp gaze…
But this time, it was softer.
"You've suffered enough."
"Come with me."
Rayyan was silent.
His eyes glistened.
"Rinthara…"
He swallowed hard.
"Are you… are you still alive?"
Rinthara smiled faintly.
She held out her hand to him.
"I’m always with you."
"I’ve been waiting, Rayyan."
"Don’t leave me alone.”
Tears slipped down Rayyan’s face.
Without realizing it, he smiled too.
"Yes… yes… I won’t leave you alone."
Rayyan slowly stood, mesmerized by Rinthara’s presence.
It didn’t matter if this was real or not…
All he knew was that he didn’t want to be apart anymore.
His trembling hands opened the drawer.
He pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills.
His fingers, still stained with blood, twisted the cap off.
He poured the entire bottle’s contents into his palm…
And swallowed them all at once.
Rinthara smiled.
"Good, Rayyan…"
"Soon, you'll be free from this cruel world."
His body grew weaker.
His vision blurred.
But through the haze, he still saw Rinthara kneeling before him.
She caressed his tear-streaked face.
"Finally, we’ll be together."
Rayyan smiled one last time.
"Yes… finally…"
And then—
His hand fell limp.
His eyes closed.
No more pain.
No more regrets.
Only relief.
Rinthara smiled down at his motionless body.
She stood up slowly.
Then she turned…
And walked into the darkness, taking Rayyan with her.
•••
The End.