It was time.
Aika stood by the door, her hand on the handle. The sky outside was dimming, the last hints of daylight fading into the evening, but everything in her felt heavy, trapped in the moment. She had already said everything she needed to say, but the words felt like they were stuck in her throat, too painful to say out loud. But she had to, didn't she?
She turned around to face Ethan, standing in the middle of his living room, his eyes wide with hope. Hope that, she knew, would soon shatter. There was no escaping it. She had to go.
"I-I need to go," she murmured, the words more fragile than she expected. She could feel her chest tighten, every beat of her heart pounding in her ears. "I have to... I still need to open the café. There's... there's a lot to do."
Ethan's face faltered, just for a second. His eyes were searching hers, like he could see through the lies. But he said nothing. He just nodded slowly, like he had been expecting it, like he already knew.
But Aika could see it in his eyes. He wanted more.
She hated this feeling, hated the ache in her chest as she looked at him. Every part of her wanted to stay. To hold him, to tell him that maybe, just maybe, there could be something between them. But it wasn't right. Not now, not with everything that had happened.
"Are you sure?" Ethan's voice broke through her thoughts, the pain evident even in the quiet way he spoke. "You don't have to go, Aika. You don't have to do this alone."
Aika swallowed hard, her throat tight. Alone. That was the key word, wasn't it? She had always been alone, even when Julius had been there. She could feel his absence like a weight on her chest, suffocating her, reminding her that she had already given her heart to someone who wasn't there anymore.
"It's just not right," she whispered. Her voice cracked, but she pushed forward. "Ethan... you have feelings for me. I know that. But Julius... he was your friend. And he... he was mine, too. Her breath hitched, and she looked down, unable to face him. "I can't do this to you, Ethan. I can't. Not when he's gone.
Aika turned away, but before she could leave, she felt Ethan's gaze on her. She wanted to run, to escape, but her body wouldn't let her move.
Then, suddenly, Ethan stood up. He was closer now, his steps firm, determined. "Aika," he said, his voice full of a quiet desperation. "Don't go. Don't leave me like this."
She froze. His words were like a slap to her heart, raw and unfiltered. Ethan's presence felt like a storm suddenly sweeping through the room. There was something in his eyes-something deep and searching -that made her question everything she thought she knew.
His hand reached for her, but he stopped before touching her. He didn't need to. His words were enough. "Am I not worth risking, Aika? Am I not worth the chance?"
The words hit her like a wave. She felt her stomach drop, her chest tightening painfully. Ethan's face was so close now, his breath warm against her skin, his eyes filled with something she couldn't describe. Hope. Desire. Pain.
Am I not worth risking?
Aika squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the hurt, but it only made it worse. She couldn't bear to look at him, not when his words were cutting into her heart, exposing everything she had kept hidden for so long.
She turned back to face him, forcing a weak smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Maybe," she whispered. "Maybe I really can't risk something like this. Not when Julius is gone."
Ethan's eyes darkened, his hand falling to his side as if defeated. He looked down for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to make her see. "So what about all those moments we've shared, Aika? The times we spent together... does that mean nothing to you?"
Aika's breath caught in her throat, and she felt her heart waver. Those moments-they had been real. The late-night talks, the laughs, the times when it felt like the world had just disappeared and there was only the two of them. She remembered his smile, the way he made her feel like she was seen, like she mattered.
But then there was Julius. And he had always been there, in the background, watching over them. She couldn't forget him, no matter how much she wanted to.
Aika opened her mouth, but the words didn't come right away. She was scared. Scared of what she might say, scared of the truth she knew she had to face. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself.
"No... She shook her head slowly. "No, Ethan. I don't know. Maybe I was just seeking a distraction from everything that happened. From all the pain. I thought maybe... I thought maybe if I let myself feel something for you, it would make everything go away. But it doesn't work that way. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me. She swallowed again, her voice trembling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ethan. I really am."
Her heart felt like it was cracking in half. She had never wanted to hurt him. Not like this. She had never wanted to break his heart, but the more she tried to push herself toward him, the more she felt like she was betraying everything she had ever felt for Julius.
Ethan just stood there, staring at her. His expression was unreadable, but the hurt was there. The pain was evident, though he tried to hide it behind a mask of calm. She couldn't bear it. She couldn't stand seeing him like this.
But what else could she do? She couldn't risk the one thing she had left-the memories of Julius. She couldn't put her heart on the line again..
I can't do this," Aika whispered, her voice shaking "I'm sorry, but I can't."
Ethan didn't respond right away. His eyes seemed to soften, and for a moment, it felt like time stopped. There was nothing but the two of them in that room, the weight of everything they had shared, the pain they both carried.
Finally, he spoke, his voice barely audible. "I'll always be here, Aika. You know that, right?"
Aika nodded, unable to find the words to respond. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to make this right.
With a final glance, Aika turned away, her heart heavy with the weight of everything she couldn't say. She stepped toward the door, her hand on the handle once more. And then, without another word, she left.
As the door closed behind her, Ethan's words lingered in the air, echoing in her mind. "I'll always be here, Aika."
-----
Aika’s POV
The door clicked shut behind me.
I stood there, just on the other side of it, frozen. My hand still gripped the handle like it was the only thing holding me up, like if I let go, I would fall apart. The hallway was quiet. Too quiet. But inside me, everything was loud—my thoughts, my heart, the echo of Ethan’s voice.
"Am I not worth risking, Aika?"
I bit my lip, hard, trying to push the tears back. But they came anyway.
It was like my chest had cracked open, and everything I had tried so hard to bury was spilling out all at once. My knees weakened, and I slid down against the wall, covering my mouth to muffle the sound of my crying.
I didn’t want this. God, I didn’t want this.
I didn’t want to walk away from Ethan.
I didn’t want to see that look in his eyes—like I had just taken something precious from him. Because the truth was, he had become precious to me, too. More than I’d ever planned. More than I ever meant for him to be.
But this wasn’t about what I wanted.
It was about what was right.
And maybe… maybe the timing just wasn’t. Maybe love—no matter how real—wasn’t always enough to fix the broken pieces inside us.
I looked up at the ceiling, blinking through the blur of my tears. The hallway light flickered above me, like it, too, couldn’t decide if it wanted to stay or leave.
I remembered the way Ethan looked at me. Like I was something rare. Like he saw the parts of me I tried to hide the pain, the fear, the guilt, and still chose to stay. Still chose to love me.
And that’s what made it hurt even more.
Because I couldn’t let him.
Not like this. Not when I was still grieving Julius. Still trying to understand who I was after everything.
Still trying to breathe.
I had been running for so long. From my past, from myself. And somewhere along the way, Ethan had become a soft place to land. A quiet warmth I didn’t know I needed.
But I wasn’t ready.
I wasn’t healed. I wasn’t whole.
And I refused to let my broken pieces cut him.
Maybe if things were different… if Julius hadn’t been part of our story… if my heart wasn’t so tangled with grief and guilt… maybe then I would’ve let myself fall. Fully. Deeply. Completely.
But that wasn’t our story.
Our story was soft glances across rooms, unsaid words, almosts, maybes.
It was late-night conversations where we both said things we didn’t know we needed to hear.
It was laughter in quiet corners of the world, shared memories that felt like home.
But it wasn’t forever.
Not yet.
Maybe one day.
Maybe when the world stopped spinning so fast. When the weight on my chest didn’t feel like it would crush me. When Ethan’s love wouldn’t feel like both a blessing and a betrayal.
I wiped my cheeks with the back of my sleeve, pulling myself to stand again. My legs felt shaky, but I made it to the elevator. Each second stretched, drawn out like it was mocking me.
When the doors slid open, I stepped inside and stared at the closing doors like they were sealing a chapter I wasn’t ready to finish.
Maybe that’s the thing about timing—it’s a cruel, unpredictable force. Sometimes love arrives at the wrong stop, too early or too late. And all you can do is wave from the window as it passes by.
But this wasn’t goodbye forever.
At least, I didn’t want it to be.
No… this was a pause. A necessary one.
One where I’d finally learn how to live for myself, not for the ghosts that haunted me. Where Ethan would have the space to find out who he was outside of chasing someone else's shadow.
Maybe we both needed to fall in love with ourselves before we could truly love each other.
I stepped out of the building, the night air cool against my skin. The stars were out, scattered like broken pieces of light in a dark sky. I tilted my head back and stared up at them, wondering if Ethan was looking at the same stars right now.
And maybe, just maybe, thinking of me too.
There was comfort in that.
I reached for my phone, opening a new note and typing something before I could stop myself.
"If it’s meant to be, we’ll find each other again. But for now, I have to find myself first."
I didn’t send it. I just saved it. Maybe one day I’d let him read it. Maybe not. But it was enough that it existed, that I had the courage to admit it, even if only to myself.
I walked the rest of the way home, slow and quiet, like each step was a promise.
I would open my café. I would build something for myself. I would fill the empty parts of my heart with laughter, with purpose, with people who made me feel alive.
And maybe one day, when the pain had softened and the memories of Julius became peaceful instead of piercing, I would be able to look Ethan in the eyes and say: “Now. Now, I’m ready.”
But tonight, I let go.
Not because I wanted to.
But because I had to.
Because sometimes love means choosing what hurts, if it means healing in the end.
And that would always be the hardest part of all.
---
The Sweet Lies Of Yesterday
And so ends this complicated story of mine,
Not with a perfect ending,
but with a quiet ache that chose healing over holding on.
It twisted, it shattered, it loved, it lied.
But in the end, if it hurt… 
it was only because healing was waiting on the other side.