But they weren’t. And so there was no point in wasting my time and thinking about how things could have been. I needed to focus on the here and the now, and that meant avoiding Brandon like he was the plague. I couldn’t afford to let him get close to me again. There was too much danger in that.
So I was going to keep my head down, avoid him, and hope that he would eventually leave me alone. I knew that he would be hard to resist, but I was determined. I had been strong for years, and now wasn’t the time to change.
I lost myself in my work for the next few hours, making notes on my textbook and then revising them. It was a lot of work, but I didn’t mind it. I loved getting into details and making sure that everything was perfect. It gave me a sense of satisfaction that nothing else could.
Eventually it started getting dark outside, and I knew that it was time for me to head home. I packed up my things slowly and then stood up. For a moment I wondered whether he might be waiting outside for me, but then I pushed the thought away.
The chances of him finding me here were slim, and even if he did it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I could just tell him that I wasn’t interested in him, and walk away. It would be a little awkward, but it wouldn’t be any worse than what I had already dealt with.
So I took a deep breath and made my way out of the library. It wasn’t dark yet, so it wasn’t like I would be walking through the dark alone. And the campus was full of people, so there was nothing for me to be afraid of.
I walked slowly and looked around me. It had been a good day, but now I was ready to get home and relax. I would probably spend the evening watching movies, and then maybe have an early night’s sleep.
For a few minutes everything felt normal as I made my way through campus and then to the main road that led to my house. It had been one of those days, but at least it was over now.
And then I felt the touch. It was hard and firm, and it immediately made my body go alert. I gasped as I felt it again, and tried to struggle free.
But he held me firm. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer, and I felt his breath against my ear.
“Ivy,” he breathed against me. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
I froze at the sound of his voice, and wondered if I should try running away from him. But then I realized that it wouldn’t work. He was stronger than me and faster than me. If he wanted to catch me then he would do it, and there would be no escape for me.
I knew that I couldn’t fight him. My only chance of getting out of this situation was to reason with him. So I stayed very still and tried not to let him know how scared I was.
“I didn’t think we had anything to talk about,” I whispered.
He let out a soft laugh and then pulled me in even closer. “Ivy,” he said again. “I really like you. And I want us to be friends.”
My heart beat hard at his words, and for a moment I found myself wanting him again. It had only been a day since he had kissed me and taken me for the first time, but I felt like it had been much longer. And now he had his arms around me again, and all I could do was feel his touch.
I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but he made me want things I had no business wanting. He made me want to be loved, and touched, and to spend time with someone other than myself. And most importantly he made me want to feel something that wasn’t pain or fear.
But I knew that I couldn’t give in to these feelings. They were dangerous, and would lead to things that I didn’t want. I had to push him away, and make sure that he understood that I wasn’t going to fall for him. So I took a deep breath, and steeled myself.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “But I don’t want to be your friend. And I really don’t want anything to do with you.”
For a moment there was silence. I felt Brandon freeze against me and wondered what he was doing. But then he started to laugh again.
“Ivy, I’m not a man you want to mess with,” he said. “I always get what I want, and I really want you.”
“You can’t have me,” I said again. “I’m not interested in you, and I want you to leave me alone.”
He laughed again at this, and his breath brushed against my neck. “Oh Ivy,” he said softly. “I am not going to leave you alone. And it’s going to get a lot worse if you keep on fighting me, If you just give in then I might make it easy for you.”
I shivered at his touch, and felt my body start to react to him. He was making me want him again, even when I was trying my hardest not to let that happen. And his words were only making things worse.
“Please don’t touch me,” I whispered. “Just leave me alone, and let me go.”
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said.
“I’m scared of you,” I whispered again.
His arms tightened around me for a moment before they loosened, and then I felt myself being turned to face him.