Even though i had the chance to escape, i just couldn’t understand why my body would not move, every instinct screamed "RUN," but my body remained frozen, and my mind was just too enveloped in fear to even think of a way to save myself. And martins, he was lying in the pool of his own blood, i couldn’t leave him that way, he protected me with his life, it would be selfish of me to leave him when it was all my fault. It was happening again, someone just died again because of my careless act. At this point, i think i might actually be cursed, no one around me is save anymore because I’ll eventually lead them to their death while i walk away unscratched.
As tears welled in my eyes, a hand, strong and firm, closed around my mouth from behind. Another arm curled around me, restraining any movement. The grip was tight, leaving no room for resistance. my wide eyes darted in desperation, meeting the cold gaze of the man who had seized me, this cold gaze was also familiar, it was kai.
“stay quiet” kai whispered to me, his grip on my waist slowing loosening. I was too shocked to even reply. He pulled out his gun and within a second, he fired at all the lights illuminating the room, as all the lights exploded, it gave us an opportunity to escape. Kai's strong grip guided me through the dark halls until we got out.  On our way out, i was completely dazed, i don't know how he did it but we finally got outside.
"Get in the car" he commanded, urgency in his voice. I hesitated for a moment, my mind grappling with the whirlwind of emotions. As I settled into the front seat, Kai took the driver's seat, his movements was quick.
The started the car and we sped away from the mansion. The ride was silent, i was too shocked to utter a word, and kai looked like he was mad. I stared ahead blankly, my mind still at the incidence that happened. The streets blurred into streaks of light, the world outside mirroring the rush of thoughts in my head. Suddenly, The screech of the car tires jolted me out of my thoughts, The car swerved violently, narrowly missing a truck barrelling towards us from the opposite lane. As the car came to a stop at the outer pavement of the road, i suddenly realised that martins wasn’t here, we had left him behind
“martin” i said as i turned to look at kai who looked fed up “martin is still….
“seriously?” kai interrupted sharply, his angry voice cutting through the air like a blade “it was only one easy task but you blew up everything and because of your carelessness, someone lost his fucking life! And now you’re still bringing him up?”
“we can still save him” I muttered quietly even though I knew it wasn’t possible
“go ahead then, go save him” Kai's gaze was intense, anger and frustration etched across his face “you are nothing but a burden, always causing trouble and putting people in danger”
His words hit me like a storm, it was true, I was a burden. All I’ve ever did is put people’s lives in danger. Although it hurts, it was still the truth. The anger in Kai's voice felt like a physical blow, each word a stinging accusation. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. His words echoed in my head, i was a burden. A walking curse. Everyone I cared about, everyone that tried to help me, ended up paying the price.
A sob escaped my lips, and before i could even try to stop myself, i was already crying like a fucking idiot.
What could possibly top this level of embarrassment.
Kai watched me in confusion, not knowing exactly what was going on with me.
“why are you over….” He started but paused
“I didn’t really mean what I said” he said underneath his breath
“it was all my fault martin died, i couldn’t do anything to save him” i said as my sobbing only intensified. He turned off the car engine as his left hand hesitantly reached for the top of my head, patting me gently and offering a silent consolation. I don’t know who gave him the idea that patting someone’s head was consoling, but that person lied because this shit only works on kids. His touch seemed hesitant at first, but he slowly relaxed after a while. Silent passed as only the sound of my quiet sobs could be heard in the car, but kai broke the silence when he spoke.
“you are way too fragile to be involved in all of these” he stated calmly, his hand still stroking my hair gently “this is a cruel world we live in, only those who are able to fight for themselves survive. You wouldn’t be able to save everyone, and that’s okay. It’s never your fault if anyone dies or gets hurt even while trying to protect you, they are only victims of the circumstances” he said with a side glance. He was beginning to be too nice for my liking, because why the fuck was he talking to me logically and not putting the blame on me like he usually do?
“stop being nice to me, it gives me anxiety” i said with a sniffle as shifted my head away while he slowly took his hand off my head. Silence stepped in again as only the sound of me sniffling could be heard. He let me cry while he waited patiently for me to finish, until he was sure that i was done.
“are you done?” he asked while i nodded slowly
“you should be very careful” he started while i turned to look at him “you are my most useful tool at the moment”
Great! Just when i thought he was about saying something really sweet, he was only worried because i was his best hacker. What he says sometimes makes me wonder if this man even have a drop of humanity left in him.
“i mean, you can always replace me, can’t you?” i asked, obviously offended over what he said
"No. At this moment, I can't afford to lose you," Kai's words hung in the air, and for a moment, i began thinking out of context, but i immediately snapped out of it.
I turned away, staring out of the window into the night, i don’t know where the hell we were, but it was pretty deserted as not even a car brake light could be found, it also looked like it’ll take us a long drive to get to the highway. Kai, seemingly relaxed, attempted to start the car, but the engine resisted his efforts.
He turned the key again, the car remaining stubbornly silent. A frown creased his forehead as he tried once more, the engine's refusal echoing the awkwardness that had settled between us.
"What the fuck?" Kai muttered, his frustration palpable. He glanced at me, frustration written all over his face. "This never happens."
I shifted uncomfortably, torn between wanting to disappear into the seat and the urge to say something. Kai's gaze flickered between the key and the uncooperative engine.
 "It's probably some technical glitch," he mumbled more to himself than to me.
A tense silence enveloped us as he continued to wrestle with the uncooperative machine. I couldn't help but find a sliver of satisfaction in the situation. Maybe it was petty, but seeing someone like kai who always act like he’s extraordinary, dealing with a mundane problem somehow leveled the playing field.
He took a deep breath, attempting to regain composure. "Well, this is inconvenient."
I couldn't resist a smirk. "Guess even the mighty Kai has his off days."
He shot me a glare, but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. Kai, growing visibly frustrated with the uncooperative car, reached instinctively for his phone. However, a realization crossed his face, and his hand smacked against the steering wheel in a silent expression of annoyance. "Damn it," he muttered under his breath.
He turned to me, his eyes scanning my face for a moment before he asked, "Do you have your phone?"
I blinked, the realization hitting me at the same time. "I left mine back at the mansion too."
Kai's irritation deepened, and he scowled. "Why the hell didn't you bring your phone? We could be in a real mess now."
“probably because i was coming for a secret operation and there was no need for it” i answered with an eye roll. This man can be absurd sometimes, the way he always tries to make everything my fault really pisses me off.
Kai, in a decisive move, abruptly exited the car, leaving the door open. I watched him, puzzled and slightly alarmed. "Where are you going?" I called after him, the cold wind biting at my skin.
"We need to start heading home before it gets late, it’s not save out here." He said without even bothering to spare me a gaze
I followed him out immediately, quickening my footsteps to catch up with him
“on foot? Can’t we just wait till help comes?” i asked trying to catch up with him
“you’ll never find help here, the only people you’ll find here are from valentino’s estate” kai said to me as he walked away. It was freezing cold and i only had a short sleeve black shirt on. It was as if kai was prepared for that situation already as he had a leather jacket on already. I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself for warmth as we walked in silence. The environment outside was dark, and only the sound of the crickets in the near by bushes could be heard. An hour passed, and my steps grew sluggish. I couldn't keep up with Kai's relentless pace. The initial adrenaline rush was replaced by aching muscles and weariness. I mustered the energy to speak, my voice strained. "How much longer do we need to walk before we find the major road?"
Kai's response was brief and unsatisfying. "Soon."
That wasn’t helpful at all, ‘soon’ could be 5 hours too, and i didn’t think my body would be able to carry me that long because it was already too much for me having to pretend that i was fine even after what i saw back there in valentino’s estate. I was beginning to grow tired and dizzy, everything around me was beginning to spin. No, this wasn’t happening to me again, not in front of kai. I paused and placed my both hands on my knees in an attempt to steady myself, my heart was racing really fast like it was going to explode, everything was beginning to blur out. Kai turned aroud to look at me when he couldn’t hear my footstep following behind him.
“what are you doing? Keep on moving” he said when he was met with the sight of me, his voice coming as echoes to me because of the state i was in. i manage to stand up straight but before i could move my body, my legs gave way beneath me. I collapsed to the cold ground, my body protesting against the strain. That was the last thing i remembered before i blacked out.