CHAPTER 52
How does it feel to lose someone who took care of you ever since you were a child? How does it feel to lose your very best brother who sacrificed his life just to protect you? How does it feel to be the curse of your family?
Don’t ask me. I’ll always say it’s nothing.
We were forced to cremate Felix’s body since there is no funeral service in this town. Nana said it would take weeks before we could bring him to the nearest one offering a funeral service. So we had to decide.
Mom stayed by my side while I was crying for days. She’s also there for Jay, who in return became the oldest one between the two of us. Jay’s the kind of person who also wants to wander around, to be protected. Now, we both lost our protector.
What are you willing to do when you want revenge? What can a person do to seek revenge?
I always ask myself. Because I can’t let things like this happen again. I can’t let this town ruin my family. I can’t bear to lose someone again. Not Jay. Not my Mom.
So when everyone was asleep, I snuck up from my room, carefully not making a teeny tiny bit of noise. I saw Felix’s urn. I bitterly smiled. I touched it a couple of times and thought of our good times together.
“Aren’t you listening again?”
I miss his voice. I miss everything about him. I wiped my tears and continued to move to accomplish my plan. “This won’t end this way, Felix. I promise.”
I made sure that I locked the door and that I have my keys in my pocket along with the sharpest kitchen knife I could find. I wander around, outside. Before, I’d always thought that nights were supposed to be dark. But today, it was bright. The moon and stars were channing in the sky like fans of fiery lights.
I pursed my lips. I repeated to myself that I wasn’t doing this for myself. But for peace and for justice.
I shivered into the cold night. I forgot to bring my jacket and I couldn’t go back inside. I might wake them up. They might catch and stop me. I saw the dark pathways ahead of me, only the streetlights giving justice to them.
I was never afraid of the dark. I believe I could push through this dark. On the other hand, I wish I could see Felix’s ghost in this darkness.
I want to talk to him. I want to feel his presence again.
So I waited. I didn’t count the seconds or minutes that I waited. I wish a white figure or a haunting voice would seep into me. But nothing. I wasted my time just like that. Maybe ghosts aren’t even real or maybe Felix did not want to scare me at all with his ghastly presence.
I pushed forward. My goals are at the end of that line. In order to reach that goal, I must know my ways and how. Justice is my goal and courage is my system.
I am going to face that Alpha.
…
I’ve done my research in this town. I gathered all of the resources, all of the small talks I’d heard in this town on where I could find the alpha. Gelo even warned me to never crash at the alpha’s place or during the night. He said wolves are around during this time.
I still remember the time when I was too innocent to not stay outside until night. They said it was all too dangerous and I’ll die doing that. But now, I am the danger.
There were wolves howling from the distance. I didn’t back up. I knew they couldn’t see me with the black hoodie and pants I was wearing. And I tried my best, not to linger on the bright side of the pathways. I camouflaged to the dark.
I forgot how many minutes I have been walking. I just followed my trail, my way to the alpha’s house. I didn’t know that it was this far.
Then I saw it. Probably the most mansion-like house in the whole neighborhood. In normal circumstances, I might think that this is the senator or mayor’s place. Another thing that I am surprised of, he doesn’t have any guards outside or inside. But alpha is the alpha. The strongest person in this town.
I gripped my has too tight. My legs turned to stone as I kicked the metal gates, spanking sounds dismantled from it. I repeated it and made noise as if I am a crazy woman out chasing his husband. I don’t know what to fear anymore. I don’t know what to feel when I see him.
“I almost thought it wasn’t you,” a breathy voice behind me, shuttered my spine. I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t…
I rotated to face him. I am right. The alpha. The man who is feared by many. The strongest person in this town. The man who killed a lot of people. The man who killed Mom and Dad. The man who raped my Mom. The man who killed Felix.
I can’t see any pattern that he’s in his early forties. I despised that he somehow resembles me. We both have the same onyx eyes. And he’s gorgeous for that age. He’s wearing a plain black tank top, his muscles alone could clearly tell he could kill me now.
Before I came here, I knew that I am going to scream at him or even stab him straightly. But I can’t move. I was just… staring at him.
“It’s nice to see my daughter visiting me.”
I angered me. “Well, fuck you! Don’t call me your daughter when I’m not!”
“Aren’t you studying biology sweetheart? On how babies were made?” He sauntered nearer and I clenched my fist.
“Fuck you! I don’t have a father like you. You rapist! Murderer! Killer!”
He chuckled. The kind of laugh who wins. “I did not kill them, Cath.”
“But your men do. You told them. You asked them. You made a mess with me!”
I closed my eyes for a second. I can’t stay staring at this man. He’s boiling up my blood. I still don’t know why I haven’t touched my knife yet.
He shifted towards me. His forehead hit mine. He whispered like a villain, “It’s been eighteen years since I have been looking for you. I searched the world, spent a lot of money, and spent my time watching over you. When I did, I tried to ask. I even tried to please them for me to have you. I begged for you. But I never had you in peace so I chose violence.”
He chose to kill them. I pursed my lips and sobbed. Mom and Dad died just to protect me. Just to bring me far away from the person in front of me right now. They did everything. Their family did everything for a stranger like me. And now, Jay’s the only one I have.
“Then why did you kill my brother as well? Why did you kill Felix?” I stared at him teary-eyed.
“What you didn’t know… He’s been working for me ever since the three of you came here. At first, I thought he was just somebody. But we found out he’s a human. And Mila’s the only human I know from this town. I sent someone to spy on him. They found the truth and they found out about you. I asked for you for the second time and he declines. So I chose the second option again.”
Well, fuck him! So whenever he does not get what he wants, he’s going to kill for it.
“Now that the two of us are together, I want you to come with me. I want us to live together. I want to spend time with my daughter. I want to be a father to you…”
His sweet words attempted to delight my heart, but my rational brain couldn’t handle his manipulation. My hands hovered through my waist as I pulled my kitchen knife from there. I gripped it tight and plunged it forward.
I didn’t hit anything.
And for the next second, I don’t have the knife in my hand. The alpha strangled me, the knife pointing directly at my face.
“You think you can kill me with this,” he said in a calm voice. He’s used to this. He’s used to people attempting to kill me. “All I want is peace and time with you, but you turned out to be just like anyone else.”
“You deserve that! You don’t deserve any love. Even from your wife or any children if you even have. Kill me now and I don’t regret it.”
He loosed his strangle on me. He then wrapped me around his presence like a father. The father I did not long for a long time.
“Be with me and I won’t ever be like that again. I won’t touch the ones you love ever again.”
I pushed his body and swiped my head in rejection. “Never.”
I left him. I did not accomplish what I was supposed to do, but I broke his heart. And I’m ready to break it even more.