As we returned to the hostel, exhausted but exhilarated from our morning run, I suddenly spotted Ethan standing at the edge of the roof. My heart skipped a beat as I took in the sight of him, his gaze fixed on some distant point, his expression vacant and troubled. For a moment, I thought he was contemplating jumping, and a surge of adrenaline coursed through my veins.
"Rachel, oh my god, look!" I exclaimed, grabbing her arm and pointing towards Ethan. "We've got to go and stop him! He might jump!"
Rachel followed my gaze, but instead of alarm, she burst out laughing. "Amanda, don't be ridiculous," she said, chuckling. "Ethan's not going to jump. He's just...thinking."
I stared at her, incredulous. "Thinking? He looks like he's about to jump off the roof! We have to do something!"
Rachel shook her head, still smiling. "Trust me, Amanda. Ethan's been doing this for weeks. He stands there every morning, lost in thought. Nobody knows what's going on in his head, but it's not what you think."
I frowned, my concern unwavering. "But what if he's suicidal? We can't just ignore him! What if he's struggling with something and needs help?"
Rachel's expression turned serious, and she placed a reassuring hand on my arm. "Amanda, Ethan's not suicidal. He's just... introspective. He likes to stand there, remembering things, or thinking about life. It's his way of coping, I guess."
I hesitated, unsure of what to do. Part of me wanted to rush up to Ethan and drag him away from the edge, while another part believed Rachel's words.
"Are you sure?" I asked, searching Rachel's face for certainty. "How do you know this?"
Rachel nodded emphatically. "Positive. I've seen him do this before. He's always been a bit mysterious, but he's not harmful to himself or others."
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. Ethan's enigmatic nature intrigued me, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that he was hiding something.
"Okay," I said finally, "but if anything happens to him, I'm blaming you."
Rachel grinned. "Don't worry, Amanda. Ethan's a big boy. He can take care of himself."
As we watched, Ethan remained frozen, lost in his thoughts, while we stood there, unsure of how to reach him. The mystery surrounding him deepened, leaving me with more questions than answers.
"What's his story, Rachel?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.
Rachel shrugged. "Nobody knows. He's always been private. But maybe that's what makes him so intriguing."
I nodded, my eyes fixed on Ethan. "I want to know more about him."
Rachel smiled. "Maybe you'll be the one to crack the code, Amanda."
As we walked away, I couldn't help but glance back at Ethan, wondering what secrets he held, and whether I'd ever uncover them.
As I walked into the lecture hall, the familiar sensation of being the center of attention washed over me like a wave. All eyes were fixed on me, their gazes piercing and curious, as if trying to unravel the mystery that surrounded me. I had grown accustomed to this reaction, but it still made me slightly uncomfortable, like a prickling sensation on my skin. I scanned the room, my eyes searching for a familiar face, a refuge from the sea of strangers. And then, I spotted him - Ethan, sitting alone at the far end of the hall, his eyes fixed on some distant point, oblivious to the commotion.
Without hesitation, I made my way towards him, ignoring the whispers and stares that followed me like a shadow. I didn't care what people thought; I wanted to sit with him, to be near him, to understand him. As I approached, Ethan didn't acknowledge me, his eyes didn't flicker, his expression didn't change. It was as if I was invisible, a ghost hovering beside him.
I sat down beside him, expecting silence, expecting him to ignore me. But instead, he surprised me with a gentle, low-toned question, his voice like a soft breeze on a summer day. "Let me guess, you're enjoying the controversy that's been going on about you in school?"
His eyes didn't meet mine, as if he was speaking to the air beside me, as if he was afraid to confront me directly. I shrugged, my voice steady, trying to appear nonchalant despite the turmoil inside. "Whatever they're saying about me is none of my business. I know what I want, and I'm going for it."
Ethan turned to me, his eyes still blank, still unreadable, but his interest piqued. "What is that?" he asked, his voice laced with a hint of curiosity, a hint of surprise.
My heart raced as I met his gaze, my words tumbling out before I could second-guess myself, before fear could grip me. "You. I want you."
The air seemed to thicken, heavy with tension, like a storm brewing on the horizon. Ethan's expression didn't change, but his eyes narrowed slightly, as if processing my words, as if trying to decipher the code that was me.
"You're bold," he stated, his tone neutral, his voice devoid of emotion.
I swallowed hard, fear creeping up my spine like a slow-moving fog. "Maybe. But I know what I want."
Ethan's gaze lingered on me, his eyes searching, probing, trying to uncover the secrets that lay beneath my surface. The silence stretched between us, thick and oppressive, like a physical presence.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low and measured, like a slow-moving river. "I'm not easy to have."
I met his gaze, my heart pounding, my soul trembling. "I'm not looking for easy."
The lecture hall faded into the background, the noise, the chatter, the whispers, all disappeared, leaving only the two of us, suspended in a world of our own creation. The air was charged with possibility, with promise, with danger. And I knew, in that moment, that nothing would ever be the same again.
I'm now at the point of no going back, this is me going all in for a guy who's still a total stranger to me.