It was already dark when Jisoo reached home. She was surpised to see Yeonseok was also home, and was at the kitchen, cooking something.
"You're early?" was the only question Jisoo threw as she walked in and saw him behind the kitchen bar.
"Oh, hey, welcome home. Go shower, I'm making dinner."
As she didn't feel like replying something, she moved to the bedroom. The smell was nice, whatever it was that Yeonseok was cooking must be delicious. But she was so tired that she just sat at the side of the bed when she was inside. 
Actually, if it was possible she really wanted to skip the dinner and just went to sleep, she didn't feel like eating either. But of course, Yeonseok would definitely be disappointed then, especially since he had been bothering himself to cook for her. So with lazy steps she got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
Dinner was ready when Jisoo finished drying her hair. She sat in the kitchen island while Yeonseok served a bowl of beef stew, french toast with avocado salad and poached egg, also Garlic Shrimp.
He sat opposite her pouring a glass of wine for himself, and a glass of sparkling water for her.
"Can I have that too?" Jisoo said pointing at the wine bottle that Yeonseok held.
"I thought you don't drink."
"I don't, but I still want to drink."
"As you wish, then." Yeonseok rose again to get a new glass and poured a little into it before putting it near Jisoo.
She just ate as soon as Yeonseok invited her to start eating. She spooned a little stew broth and tasted it, then tried again with dipping the toast that went with stew into the thick broth. Then she tried the french toast and salad, and she decided that she liked all of Yeonseok's cooking dishes.
Actually this wasn't his first time cooking for her. When she was grieving and living in his dad's house, he always cooked for her whenever he could. At that time he mostly cooked Korean dishes, menus that most people could do. But seeing Yeonseok expanded his menu variations this time, Jisoo must admit that he turned out to have the talent too.
"How was it?" Yeonseok asked when he saw her nod admitting the taste.
"It's great." Jisoo answered while sipping the stew sauce, she loved the thickness of the taste, it was very tasty, so much of her liking. "It's not fair, you know." she said shortly afterwards. "To have a good look and cooking skill at the same time. It's a lethal combination in winning women's heart."
Yeonseok chuckled at that, he raised his eyebrows as if saying 'really?' while sipping on his wine. "Do I win your heart now?" he then asked out of curiousity.
Did he win her heart now? Good question. At this moment of time, Jisoo hoped that he did because truthfully, she was getting tired of this drama in her head. She was tired of reminiscing the past when she had to let go, she was tired of holding on when she had to forget, she was tired of hurting herself with her should-have-been-long-gone love. And Yeonseok was supposed to be her saviour, she once belived that he was her blessing in disguise, so why couldn't she let him be?
She met his eyes looking at her in silence, waiting for reply. It was that intense gaze that Jisoo was sure if she were other women, they would be overblown because, really, Yeonseok actually had a very becautiful pair of eyes. And she had no idea why the thought had never come to her before. He brought out a different feel that made him, Jisoo couldn't find the right word to say it... inevitable?
It's because when Sehun looked at her the same way, his eyes were like a deep ocean ready to drown her to the abyss. With Sehun, she always wanted to hold him so she would stay above the surface of the water, because if she let him go, she was sure she would die because it was too everwhelming. But the look Yeonseok had was a deer-like, like he was pulling her closer and closer to look at him back in captivation. That he was beautiful and had to be loved.
And Jisoo almost let herself followed that pull. If that was the case, maybe it was her way out. But whatever it was then had pulled her back, Jisoo broke their gaze, she dropped her head back to the food on the table.
"Try harder." She finally replied. 
Please. 
She really wanted to say it, but she couldn't. Like there was a strong glued covered her mouth voicing out the word. So she just clunched her hand under the table and hoped, even though it wasn't possible, Yeonseok would see that her silence was a cry for help. 
They continued to eat in silence. And again, there were many things going on inside her head. So many questions she wanted to ask, but she was confused which one she should ask first. Until then she decided on one thing that had been her biggest question for a long time, and while they were in this conversation, she thought why not talking about it now.
"Why did you marry me, Oppa?" Jisoo raised her head to meet his eyes, "I mean, despite the history we had when I was child, we're practically strangers. And I know there must be tons of woman, I'm sure, are willing to be your wife. But why you go by my dad's request?"
"You're wrong about that tons of women willing to marry me, I don't have that many fans." he joked, or not? because Jisoo couldn't see whether he was being serious or not, but it of course it didn't answer her question.
Seeing that Jisoo was giving no reaction, Yeonseok must have caught the needs of honesty in his reply. So what he did was asdjusting his seat, propping his elbow on the table while he leaned his jaw on his hand, thinking.
"And you're wrong about we being strangers." he said a moment later. "For you, I might be a stranger. But for me, you're like someone I've known my whole life."
If there are paintings that can describe how Jisoo felt right now, there must have been a big question mark on her head. Because Jisoo didn't understand what Yeonseok just said. How could he have known her all his life when the only time they had met was about fifteen years ago?
"I don't understand." she said.
"I know your dad for a long time, Jisoo, he was the reason I can be who I am now. Being my father's best friend, he's been an incredible teacher, someone I looked up to. He told me what to do when I'm confused about what I have to do for the future. And during me getting there, he taught me many things; he gave me tips and tricks to improve my skill over medical exposure, and all those years, one thing that was the topic of our conversation was you."
Hearing his dad was mentioned again awakening the longing that had slept inside her. And of course, Jisoo should have guessed that her dad was involved in this. No, getting involved is an understatement. Her dad created this whole scenario for them.
"You know, when you keep hearing the same name for years, to the point that even in my dream, you were the main character. And to see a father talking about his daughter as the only star in his sky, or the only thing that lighten up his life, who wouldn't fall for that even though we've never met those whole years?" Yeonseok paused a second to gulped down the water, "That's why I wasn't surprised when one day he expressed his greatest wish. 'I would be very happy if you marry Jisoo.' he said at the time. And I couldn't refuse, I just can't."
"Because he was ill?" she asked, guessing.
"At first? Yes, it was. But as long as I think, I don't want to make this like some kind of charity case, so I try to convince myself that I also want this. I almost said no to his proposal when I returned to Korea and saw you seem to be very in love..." Right, of course he saw her and Sehun that day at the airport. "But then you said you wanted to try it, and your biggest reason was exactly the same reason why your dad ask me the same thing. At that time I realized that, maybe this was it. Marrying you are not about making you mine, Jisoo, it's the idea of ​​being a new home for you. Someone who would listen to you, someone you'll run to, someone who protects you. Because there's must be a reason why your father told those stories for years."
Jisoo sighed, trying to hold back his tears. She had no idea if this was what she wanted to hear, because she couldn't help to feel sad, but at the same time felt deeply touched. She never knew there was someone out there who would think about her life that way. She never thought that her dad had prepared it that far. She never knew anything. She gulped down her wine in one go, flinched when she felt the sour, bitter and sweet running down on her throat, then wiped her face.
What else should she say about it? She almost thought that her marriage was something like charity case---so he knew that would think that way, only to find out the truth was beyond all that. How could there be a person that selfless?
"It's hot here, let's take a walk outside." She rose from her seat and left the kitchen.
The cold breeze hit their faces as soon as they stepped out of the lobby, and even so did not make Jisoo stop going to the park in the residency area. It was quiet, there was only the sound of the wind blowing and the sound of traffic from a distance.
"Will you tell me what's bothering you these days?" Yeonseok asked after a long time they walked in silence.
Jisoo chuckled. How did he even notice that? Because she thought she had tried her best not to be obvious, yet turned out it's still not enough.
"I can't tell you." she replied.
"Why?"
She stopped under the garden light so she could see his face clearly. "Because if I tell you why, I might hurt your feelings."
"Try me." and that reply came fast.
Jisoo paused for a moment, somewhat doubtful if she needed to tell him. Since long ago she always avoided all talk about Sehun with him, because it felt very uncomfortable. But Yeonseok once made her promise to let him know if something happened, and Jisoo thought she had kept enough things from him. He deserved to know the truth.
"Sehun got a new girlfriend." She started, "She's nice, she're pretty, so cute and funny and everything. And top of that, she makes him happy. And I said I'm happy for him. Or so I thought. Because as time goes by, no matter how hard I try to be happy for them, I feel miserable. I don't know why, I mean, I am happy for him. He deserves someone better, and I want him to be happy. But there's another part in me who feels that, it's not right. He was mine, and now he isn't. I suppose to let him go, but I hold on to our memories. And this semester we were like, have this project we need to do together. It was fun but then he got himself a girlfriend, and he starts to bring his girl all along, and they're like, everywhere. And I was like...." She sighed and wiped her face frustratedly.
"And now I feel so bad because I'm sick of them that I wish them to break up, I know it's not right. I hate myself."
Jisoo walked in circle and unconsciously took out all of her problems. Now that Yeonseok knew everything she no longer cared if he was really hurt because of what she had just said, he was warned though. And Jisoo felt even more miserable because someone else knew about this now, and this was embarrassing.
She stopped before him, pulled his hands from his coat pocket and shook them,
"What should I do? Tell me what should I do?" she asked exasperatedly.
Yeonseok pursed his lips in thoughts, and she watched him silently. Whatever it was, she couldn't make out anything from his face that she thought she must have hit the bottom, did she really hurt him that way?
"I can't tell you what to do." He said after it felt like a lifetime, "But I can tell you what will make you feel better." 
"What?"
Yeonseok bent his head to reach her eyes, then whispered it on her ears. 
"A kiss." he said then.
Jisoo squinted at him, feeling betrayed suddenly. And there she thought she was hurting him, but he couldn't even take this conversation seriously. To her dismay, she turned and left him muttering, "Why did I tell you this." But before she could walk away he had tugged her hand to face him.
"Let me explain this to you so you will get a better insight about what I said." he said, landing his hand on her arms so she wouldn't go anywhere. "Medically speaking, when you kiss somebody, it causes a chemical reaction in your brain. This oxytocin, when it grows higher, it will allow your body to adapt to highly emotive circumstance. You'll be more relaxed, and when you're relaxed there will be the dopamine. THat's how it will make you feel better."
"I don't think it's going to change anything." she insisted.
"Really? Wanna try?" It seemed like this was the time when he was being a tease, and he looked like he enjoyed every single irritating look and scoff she threw him. But then he circled his hand to her waist, and his expression became serious. 
"If it doesn't make you feel better, I'll stop." 
He seemed like he knew exactly what to do, it's so hard not to listen. And he looked at her in that intense look again, somehow it felt so hard to get out of the pull this time. Should she just give in?
"You know what your problem is?" Jisoo shook her head when he asked. "You do too much thinking in here." 
She winced when he knocked on her forehead with his forefinger, and before she could say anything, she felt his lips on hers. She flinched and pulled away, but Yeonseok landed his other hand on her nape, steadied her there before he pulled her in again. And she felt he smiled on her lips when he kissed her, she could feel the sour and sweet taste of the wine as his lips moved on hers. He kissed her softly, gently, carefully as if she was this fragile artwork that he needed to care of.
He didn't rush it, when he pulled her body against him, she felt these strange shivers through her nerves, the shivers that made her body trembled. And she knotted her fist on his shirt, holding on to him because it made her legs weak. Jisoo must have forgotten how it felt to be kissed because it somewhat like, something she'd never had before. She started to feel breathless, but in fascinating way.
And before she knew it, she kissed him back.
*