I paced around my room, a nervous energy bubbling inside me. "How am I going to tell Liam about Italy?" I muttered to myself, chewing on my nails. "What if he doesn't understand? What if…" My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. I quickly opened it, and there stood Liam, with a smile that could light up a whole room.
"Why are you smiling like that?" I asked him, a little confused. "Did something good happen?"
"Want to hear some good news?" he asked, his smile widening.
I forced a smile back at him, hoping this wasn't the right moment to share my news.
We sat down on the edge of my bed, and he took my hands, his eyes locked on mine. "You wouldn't believe what happened today, Mira," he said, his voice bubbling with excitement. "The coach applied for an athlete scholarship for us at a prestigious university here in the Philippines, and guess what?"
The nervous knot in my stomach loosened a bit. I was genuinely happy for him. "Were you one of the recipients that got accepted?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
I knew he could afford to go to that university even without the scholarship, but this was a huge opportunity for him, especially for his soccer career.
He nodded, his eyes sparkling. "Yes. With this scholarship, a huge opportunity is opening up for me. They will train us to become professional soccer athletes. Isn't it great?"
While I was thrilled for him, a wave of apprehension washed over me as I thought about my own dreams of going to Italy.
"That's amazing, Liam! I'm so proud of you," I replied, forcing a smile to match his excitement. Deep down, I knew I had to tell him about Italy, but the timing felt terrible. It just didn't seem right to share my news with him now.
Liam's eyes were full of joy and anticipation as he continued, "I can't wait to see where this opportunity takes me. It feels like all my hard work is finally paying off."
Soccer had always been his passion, so I was genuinely happy for him. But as I listened to him talk about his dreams, a feeling of guilt started to creep in. How could I tell him I was leaving for Italy when he was on the brink of achieving his own dreams right here in the Philippines?
But I knew I had to be honest with him. I was about to speak when he surprised me. "I was thinking, why not consider studying there as well? Since you haven't chosen a university yet, you could focus on medicine there. They're known for their medical field. Plus, we could be close to each other. We could achieve our dreams together, Mira," he said, his voice filled with hope.
His words caught me off guard. He just blurted it out, without asking me what I wanted or what my plans were.
I looked at him seriously, took a deep breath, and gathered my thoughts. I knew this conversation would change everything between us.
I gently shook my head, my eyes locked on his. "I can't," I said, my voice a mere whisper.
Liam's expression shifted to confusion. "What do you mean, you can't?"
"I'm happy for you, but I don't think I can join you on this path. I appreciate you wanting me to study there, wanting to be close to me, but it's not what I want for myself, Liam," I explained.
The confusion on his face deepened. "You don't want to be with me?"
I shook my head again. "No, that's not what I meant. I want nothing more than to be with you, but..."
"But what? Isn't my plan for us enough?" he asked, his voice laced with disappointment.
"That's your plan for us, but have you considered mine? Did you ask me what I want, what my plan is? You're making decisions for me, Liam."
"All I want is to have you by my side as we reach for our dreams, Mira. Is that so hard to understand?"
"But we can support each other's dreams even if we're apart, right?" My words hung in the air, heavy with uncertainty.
He was clearly confused by my statement. "What are you implying?" he asked, his brows furrowing as his eyes searched for answers in mine.
"I mean that our dreams might take us down different paths, and I need to follow mine, even if it means being apart." I paused, forcing myself to meet his confused gaze. "I applied and got accepted to my dream university in Italy, and I intend to pursue my studies there." I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's something I've always dreamed of, Liam."
His eyes widened in shock, a mixture of hurt and disappointment flashing across his face. "Italy? Why didn't you tell me about this before? Why am I just finding out now?"
"I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. Scared you wouldn't understand, scared you wouldn't let me go."
He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, pacing back and forth. "Mira, Italy is so far away. Are you sure about this?"
I nodded, my voice firm. "Please understand. It was an opportunity I couldn't let go of. I want nothing more than to support your dreams, and I hope you can support mine."
He stopped pacing and looked at me. "I can support you, but Mira, even if you didn't go to Italy, you could still fulfill your dad's dream of you becoming a doctor."
His words made me snap. "But what about my dream to study there? I can't just give it up like that."
"I understand, but even if you study there, we'd be on opposite sides of the world. That's not what I want for us, and I can't handle it."
I let out a bitter laugh. Why was he being so selfish? Why was only his happiness important? What about mine? I wished I had never told him about my plans to study abroad.
"So to make things easier for you, I should just turn down the opportunity to study in Italy even though I worked so hard to get accepted? Liam, that university is one of the best medical schools in the world, and they want me to be their student!" I said, trying to control my emotions.
"There are endless opportunities here, Mira. There are plenty of great medical schools in the Philippines. I know you can do your best wherever you go because you're smart. So why study there?" He moved closer to me, taking my hands. "Can't you just let go of that dream and stay here? Please, stay with me, Mira," he pleaded.
I wanted to feel sorry for him, but I couldn't. His mind was so closed off. Of course, I wanted to be with him too, but sacrifices had to be made for our dreams.
My heart ached. "Did you seriously think it was that easy?" I choked out, my voice cracking with a mixture of anger and hurt. "How many times do I have to tell you that it was my dream to study there? It's the only dream I've ever had a chance to fulfill, and you want to take it away from me?! Liam, we can make this relationship work long-distance if we try. Because if we're meant to be, we'll find a way."
Liam's eyes reflected a mix of hurt and frustration. "Mira, I'm asking you to choose us, to choose our future together." He pleaded, his voice trembling with emotion. "Can't you see that being apart like this will only drive us further away from each other?"
But this time, I wanted to choose myself. I didn't want to end up regretting that I stayed and just loved him. "I love you, but I can't give up this opportunity. It's a part of who I am. This is something I can't ignore."
Liam's expression hardened. "If you really love me, you will stay."
For a few seconds, all I could do was stare at him. I couldn't believe what he was saying. I knew talking to him would be tough, but I never imagined it would come to this. He was forcing me to choose him over my dreams. It felt like he was trying to trap me, and honestly, with his behavior, I wanted to run as far away from him as possible.
"Are you so selfish that you're going to force me into something I can't do? Are you going to use my love for you to keep me from leaving?!" I couldn't hold back the anger that was bubbling inside me.
Liam crossed his arms, his face set in a stubborn line. He didn't respond.
I had reached my limit. If that's what he wanted, fine. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling voice. "If that's how you truly feel, then there's nothing left for us. We're done."
His face turned confused. "W-what?"
"I love you, but if we can't understand each other, then it's better to end things. And if you truly love me, you'll let me go after my dreams." My voice cracked again, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper.
"Yes, Liam," I whispered back, my heart breaking with each syllable. "We're over. Maybe this is just how it ends. It was clear that we wanted different things."
"Mira," he whispered, his voice barely a breath. "You can't be serious. You can't just break up with me!"
His pleading tone, the raw vulnerability in his voice, tore at my heart. It was a pain I knew all too well, the pain of knowing you were hurting someone you loved deeply. But I was hurting too, trapped in a cage of his own making, suffocating under the weight of his expectations.
"I have to," I said. "This is my dream, my chance to be who I was meant to be. I can't just throw it away because you told me to."
He shook his head, his eyes wide with disbelief. "But what about us?"
His words pierced through my soul. What about us? I didn't know anymore. We'd been through so much together, he'd always been my rock. But now, it felt like he wasn't on my side.
"I don't want to lose you, Liam," I confessed, tears streaming down my face. "But I can't lose myself either."
He reached out to hug me, but I pulled away. "Mira, please, don't do this. I can't live without you."
His words, filled with desperation and love. He pulled me back into an embrace, and I gave in. I wanted to feel his arms around me one last time.
I loved him more than anything in this world, but I knew staying would only lead to more pain, more resentment, and eventually, the slow, painful death of our relationship.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. "But I have to do this for myself, and for you too. This is the best I can do for both of us."
His eyes filled with sadness. He was trying to hold back tears, but they started falling. It was heartbreaking to see him like this, but it was the only way. And he knew, in that moment, that there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, to change my mind
He stepped back, his shoulders slumping with defeat. The air between us felt heavy with unspoken words, with the weight of a love that was too strong to hold, too fragile to survive.
"Then I'm letting you go. You're right, I can't ask you to give up your dreams for me. But I want to let you know that I love you and I will always regret letting you go."
I nodded silently, my heart breaking with each passing second. As Liam turned to leave, the finality of our decision hung in the air. I knew I was making the right decision, but it didn't make the pain any less real.
As soon as he left and closed the door, I sank to the floor, letting out all the emotions I had been holding back. It was really over. We were really over.
Part of me hoped Liam would come back, say it was all a mistake, that we would work through this together. But all I got was nothing. No Liam came back.
My world was suddenly shrouded in darkness. I had chosen my dreams, but in doing so, I had lost the man I loved. And as I cried my heart out, I knew, with a certainty that chilled me to the bone, that this was a heartbreak I would carry with me for the rest of my life.
Our paths had diverged, leading us in opposite directions. The relationship that had once bound us together, now felt like a death, pulling us apart, forever.
And maybe, just maybe, I would also regret taking that leap to break things up with him.