Deanara Samaniego’s POV
“Did you know about this?” I whispered to Mikee while we were walking in the hallway of our hotel after my mother had removed my freedom to say my opinion with regards to her plan about my life.
Yes, my life. I never even thought that she’d be arranging my marriage to someone else. Honestly, it’s not new in our family and my mother had told me her desire to just find me some men to help me manage our company when they’re gone, being the only successor to it as of the moment. She had expressed her intention to marry me to her friend’s son, but it never occurred to me that she would indeed do it.
All this time, I thought it was a joke. It was maybe because until now I have never introduced a man to her. I did. Mattel. But, it doesn’t mean I want to be arranged. Why now? Why does she have to arrange my marriage when I already find Gray?
I cannot accept this. What should I do?
Should I run away with Gray? Damn! This is getting out of hand. I should have introduced Gray to her even before so this will not lead to this. However, I know that no matter how early I have introduced Gray to her, she will still investigate him, and probably will still not like Gray.
Why is my mother so judgemental? She hadn’t met Gray yet for her to conclude that he’s not the right one for me. Ugh! I am getting frustrated.
My mother even confiscated my phone, so I won’t be able to call Gray. Mikee’s phone was also confiscated just to make sure that he will not help me call Gray. Ugh! What would Gray think? He would worry about me especially if I didn’t say anything even to Lyuna.
Why is this happening now?
I was supposed to enjoy the exhibition Gray and his team had made up in the sky and probably have a date with him now, yet here I am, standing next to the door. And, almost dropped my balance when Mattel opened it.
“Mattel?” I said, surprised, shocked, terrified, happy, sad...you name all the emotions one could feel upon seeing their first love who left and now wanting to go back in your life again.
Should I accept him after all these years? After what happened? Ugh! It’s all getting back to my memory again, how he hurted me. I don’t know what’s true or not. I understood him when he denied me to the whole world, but I will never understand at that same moment he dated another girl without explaining anything to me.
I would forgive him if he told me that it's only for his career and he doesn’t want me to get involved, but no...he didn’t say anything. He never said anything and cut all his communications with me. Did they even break? That actress and model he was dating? The last time I checked, they were still seen together. So, what is this now?
Why are we suddenly talking to him? Why did he suddenly call my mother? What for?
I cannot believe how my mother had agreed to this without even asking me if I wanted him again.
"Dea," He sweetly called me by the nickname he had given me.
I would lie if I tell you that it didn't make my heart flutter because it did. For one second, I thought that I was betraying Gray at this moment.
"Auntie," He kissed my mother on her cheeks. "Thanks for welcoming me here."
"My pleasure, Mattel. How are you doing? Are my staff treating you well?" My mother asked.
"Indeed." Mattel chuckled a bit as I tried to remove my gaze from him, but I just can't miss him.
"This is my son, Mikee, and of course, Deanara." She turned to me and expected me to say something.
"You blocked me." Mattel directly told me. "Or is that your boyfriend?"
"You betrayed me." I chose to say. I felt like my heart would explode any minute as the pain kept coming back again.
I tried my hardest not to cry because I don't want to be weak in front of him. I thought I got over this, well, I am wrong.
"I suggest you both talk before we settle everything." My mother pulled Mikee away from us and pushed me inside, making me bump into Mattel's broad chest.
He caught me and I jolted due to the spark we both felt. My mother locked the door like she was already giving me away. What did Mattel do for my mother to like him?
My mother is very hard to please and I know her standards. Even before, I already had a hint that she would like Mattel, I just didn't foresee that she's going to like him that much. What's not to like about Mattel?
"How are you?" He asked.
I ignored him for a moment because I wanted to calm my beating heart. I walked past him and stopped in front of the balcony while I was looking at the sunset.
When I turned my back, he was holding his phone and hid it when our eyes met.
"I have nothing to say, so let's just--"
"I'm sorry."
I was taken aback when I heard the regret in his voice. I looked at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. I saw myself, too, like how I see it back when we are both in love with each other.
"Isn't that already late, Mattel?" I bit my lower lip and tried hard not to cry. "You should have said that before."
"I am sorry, but I need to do that." He bowed down. "I am so sorry for choosing my career over you."
"You know what?" I choked and turned to stare at the sunset. "I am not mad, Mattel. I am not mad because you chose your career over me. I am willing to sacrifice for you to have that."
I failed to stop my tears as they started falling down.
"You know why I am mad?" I glared at him and showed him the pain I have felt, he made me feel.
"You didn't say anything. I would understand, Mattel. But, you left me with no words. You just vanish into thin air. No calls, no texts, nothing. And, I hate how you suddenly became stranger to me. Why did you do that?"
He slowly walked towards me and attempted to hold my hand to which I refused. I shoved him away and even slapped him. I should have done that years ago. I punched him, hit him in his chest, and hurt him until I got tired from crying and hitting him, that he just caught me in his arms.
"I am sorry. But, I have to do that because if not, if I will not cut ties with you, then for sure I would choose you. I will go back here and I can't…you know how important that is for me, right?"
"Do you think I am a hindrance to your dreams?" My blurred eyes couldn't see his face clearly, yet I knew he was also on the verge of crying.
"I am a hindrance? That is why you chose to date a model and an actress?" I mocked. "You should have told me you want something like that. I should have audition in your company!"
"I had to do it because I don't want you to be caught in the middle. I don't want people to bash you, to follow you everywhere, to deprive you of your freedom because you are connected to me. I know how you value your freedom so much that is why I agreed to the company to deny you. I am protecting you." He explained.
"I am capable of protecting myself. Have you ever thought about it? And, if that is your reason, then you should have told me. You should have said something instead of deleting me from your life!" I raised my voice and choked on my words.
"Now, you are coming back to my life and expecting me to accept you? HOW DARE YOU!" I threw him the pillow and the couch and he didn't bother to move from his spot as I continued doing it.
I hate how he is just accepting everything. I hate it. I hate how he stood there and said nothing, but felt so sorry. I hate that I am slowly finding my way to him again. I hate how the feelings I tried hard to hide are slowly going back to its places.
Mattel never left in my heart. He just broke it into pieces.
"I am sorry, but believe me, it's not true. My relationship with her is not true."
"The media is saying otherwise."
"It's a fake one." He still denied it.
"I no longer know if I would believe you Mattel." I lied. I believe in him.
I know that. I have thought about it before. I know it would happen, but I just won't admit it because if I did, then every hate that I have for him will instantly fade away. I want to hate him, to continue hating him. I don't want to know the truth because if I did, I am going to fall again. And, I don't want to. I don't want to betray Gray.
"I'm sorry if it took so long, but can we still go back to the way we used to be?"
I shook my head.
"You are already late, Mattel."
"You told me you are going to wait for me. Here I am now, Dea. Am I really late?"
I cupped my mouth as my shoulder thrusted up and down. I am having a hard time breathing. I felt like my chest would explode any minute. Ugh! I hate this feeling!
"Mattel, that promise was broken when you broke your promise." I told him. "You promised me that you'll tell the world how much you love me, but you ended up introducing someone else."
"I will make it up to you."
"How are you going to do that? It's already late, Mattel." I wiped my tears and calmed myself. I no longer want to cry.
I just want to see Gray because he was probably concerned about me right now. I didn't tell him where I was. Ugh! I hate my mother. She really planned this because she knew that I would not talk to Mattel.
"Do you love him?" He asked. "Do you love Gray?"
"It's none of your business anymore." I said and decided to leave when he held my wrists.
"It is, because only if you can tell me that you love him, I would let you go."
I faced Mattel as my lips were shaking. I hate those brown eyes. It's killing me how I could still see my eyes in him.
"I loved him." I replied as I pursed my lips.
He stared at me for a minute until I was the one who looked away.
He let go of my wrists and slightly smiled.
"Deanara," He shook his head. "I hate how it's still obvious when you lie."
Before I could react, he pulled me close to him, and kissed me. And, I hate how I returned those kisses.