After I left the USA, Vicky went to lodge in a hotel for a week as that was our agreement. It was hard calming her down and telling her to trust me when I was the cause. When Mr Phillip came to pick me up, he asked if Vicky was fine and I knew it took all in her not to throw herself into her father's arms crying. She pretended she was fine when her father asked her why she looked stressed and in reply, she had blamed it on the pregnancy. During the time they were exchanging words, I was silently praying and asking for forgiveness on behalf of Vicky.
She could have told her father what made her look crazy, but she didn't and I knew it was because of the baby. At that moment, I knew she trusted me. Even if it was as little as a bean seed. I was immensely grateful.
During my journey back to Nigeria, my conversation with Mr Phillips was brief. I did what I was good at just to stop him from questioning me further, which was lying. I fabricated a lie.
As I got home the uber driver that had been watching me sighed heavily and told me to rate him five stars. I did because he deserved it. He minded his business throughout the ride.
When I got home, which was my mother's house, I stepped into the sitting room as my mother came out of the kitchen. She widened her eyes as she dropped the plate in her hand. "God!" she shouted and embraced me for a while. Her crying and ranting called the attention of my cousins. They hesitated at my present before coming to hug me.
"Where did you go? What happened? And you are pregnant, is it for Jeremy?" my mum checked me over and over.
"Mum, nothing happened to me," I said as I sat down. I did not like the atmosphere of the house nor did I like the way she was worrying about me.
"You are pregnant." Busola looked at me as if trying to detect what went wrong.
"Who is the father? Did you run away because you realised you were pregnant?"
"No, Mum. Things happened." I didn't know how to explain and I didn't want to lie.
"Yeah, things happened. Bisola is dead, did you hear? And Toyin isn't okay. And you disappeared. You didn't bother to call me just to say hi even though you knew I would be so worried about you."
"Mum, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for putting you into such a situation. I'm sorry guys. And I will go check on Toyin and Bisola's parents."
"You don't sound shocked," Bayo said.
I signed. I knew of this before I travelled out, a lot of things..."
"You travelled out? When? How? Was it anything related to your work? Anyway, how did she die?"
"Please don't ask me. It's so sad. How is Gideon?"
"Good. He left here an hour ago."
"Are you two now courting?"
"I'm still mourning."
"He doesn't care about you wherever he is, you know?"
"Why are you talking this way?" Mum sat beside me and placed her hand on my back. "Why won't you let me in? Talk to me, Tosin."
"Mum, it's so hard, things are happening. I'm tired of it all. I'm trying to be better." Being with Victoria had made me know some things. I wanted a simple life with no fear of looking over my shoulders for the rest of my life.
"Tell me then," she pulled me to her as her soft calmed voice urged me to speak. But what could I say that wouldn't endanger their lives? The less they knew the better.
"Did you join the group?" Busola asked hands on her waist.
"What group are you talking about? I have to go to bed," I said standing up. I was trying to avoid questions.
"Jeremy dropped by," Mum said.
"All the time," Bayo chipped in.
"And he always gives us something whenever he drops by. You ghosted him as you did to us,” Busola said.
"I don't want to see him and don't tell him I'm back, okay?"
"But why?" Mum frowned. Does he know about the baby? Is the baby not his?"
"Just do as I say," I said as I went to bed.
As I lay in bed to sleep, the only thing I remembered was the sound of the drizzling rain against the roof, before I zoned out.
Toyin kept pacing and I could hear every one of her thoughts.
She didn't bother to ask after me. She just forgot about me. Ran away and left me like that. She didn't even bother to ask if I would come or not! Ingrate! Selfish! Coward! After everything I did for her! She doesn't care about me, just herself!
I stepped closer to her and instantly it was as if she was just seeing me. She didn't attempt to fake her feelings, it was all plain. She hated me. She looked as if she should strangle me and if I didn't say anything she was going to.
Her hair was messy, and the tears coming out of her eyes were blood. Her lips quivered as she breathed heavily with her chest rising unsteadily.
"Toyin?" I took a step further and the lightning sparked, accompanied by the sound of the thunder. The wind whirled around and a drop of water landed on my face. "What happened to you?" We were outside of nowhere in the dark.
"Now you care!"
"I always do. I want to know what happened."
“It took you so long to walk up to me.”
“I'm sorry and I missed you.”
"You didn't! You don't care! I don't want to see you," Toyin said and disappeared instantly into the dark air.
"Wait, let's talk!" I looked around and saw only darkness as the rain began to fall. "Toyin!" I screamed in frustration and screamed again.
"What's wrong with you?" Bayo frowned, still sprinkling water in my face.
"Stop that!"
“What do you expect me to do since you refused to wake up? I figured the water was the best thing. Why did you have to scream Toyin's name like that? You had better check on now and mum's calling you for dinner," Bayo said and left me dumbfounded. So it was a dream? Part of Me knew that if I didn't check on her, she was just starting with me.
The next day, I borrowed Gideon's car and drove to the hospital she was admitted to. When I got there I was told her parents had already come to pick her up. By the time I hopped into the car, my heart was beating fast for fear of whatever was going to happen. How was I going to face her? What were her parents thinking of me now?
When I got to her house, I hit my head on the steering wheel, partially preparing myself for what was going to happen.
"All right, I got this." With a final encouragement for myself, I got out of the car and walked up to the door to knock.
The door opened and Mrs Olubiyi just stared at me blankly for some seconds before she threw her arms around my neck, crying.
"What took you so long?"
"I'm really sorry." That was the only reasonable sentence I could speak. I was out of excuses. And I was scared I would find myself tangled in it.
After a moment of consoling Mr and Mrs Olubiyi, I excused myself to Toyin's room.
Geez, that room was still a teenager's room. It was how Toyin decorated it when we were teenagers. It brought so many memories of us together.
I finally stepped in after I pushed the door open, and I took my steps one after the other. Toyin was backing me and I wondered what she was gazing at outside the window. I looked around and sighed. Toyin had destroyed things. There was food left on the tray, untouched.
"She had been like that since we brought her home," Mrs Olubiyi said behind me. If she had walked up here with loud steps, then I didn't hear her steps as I was carried away with how messy Toyin's room was. "She barely eats. She doesn't talk. She only gets angry and cries. I'm afraid she's going to lose her mind completely. I'm scared," she sniffled and I rubbed her shoulders as my way of comforting her. "She is going through a lot."
Mr Olubiyi went to Toyin and sat next to her.
"Get out!" Toyin's voice demanded and I flinched.
"I will. You have a visitor and it's Toyin," Mrs Olubiyi said and left us.
I stood there waiting for Toyin to notice me, and when she did, she only glimpsed at me, then folded her legs, ignoring me completely.
"Toyin, I'm here."
"Don't be! I don't need you."
"I'm sorry." I walked and sat on the bed.
Toyin stood up quickly as if something suddenly bit her butt. She locked the door and used one hand to hold up her falling sweatpants. She was so skinny and unhealthy and her hair was messy. Just like I saw in my dream.
Toyin smiled devilishly and threw the key out of the window. It was then I knew I was screwed.
I looked at how scary she was and thought of one thing, I'm screwed.
________________
“I have been wanting to do this!" Toyin threw herself at me and started strangling me with full force. "Sorry? You think sorry will fix everything? Be sorry for yourself!" She pushed me and started hitting me, scratching my face alongside a scream that was penetrating into my ears.
"Toyin, don't, please, I'm sorry."
"You are an asshole!"
"Big one."
"A bitch! A douchebag! Bastard!"
"Yes, I agree"
"A coward! A betrayal."
I swallowed as I admitted. I could feel my face bruised as blood started coming out of my nose.
“Think you can run away and ditch me to live a perfect life! No, I won't give you that chance, you grateful imbecile! Bisola carried your sin! Till her death! I was there for the two of you! You think I don't have shit I go through too? Do you know how a parent looks at me? Am I happy I didn't make them proud? No! They cry every day because of me! They fear for me! I'm an only child and they think I'm going mad. They think they are going to lose me. And all I did for them was to cause them pain because I was there for the two of you. She died and you ran away like the coward you've always been!"
"I'm sorry," I sobbed.
"If you say sorry one last time, I swear I will pluck out your eyes!" Toyin yelled before she went ahead to bite my arm.
I screamed out in pain but she quickly shut me up with a punch in my face.
"F... you!"
Toyin was never the type to curse, but yeah, that made me know how much I hurt her to the core.
"Everyone thinks I'm going mad, but I'm not. I was going to hunt you down myself and kill you but you surprised me."
Her hands went for my throat again and I tried fighting her off. "I'm pregnant," I said with every breath as tears were streaming down our faces. It was painful to see her that way.
It took a while for her to process what I said and when she got it, she looked down at my stomach. She batted her eyes, obviously shocked as it was the first time she was seeing my stomach. Her eyes never left my face since she saw me.
She laughed a little and a little again, then finally, like a witch. "You are pregnant. I could kill the two of you right now and you will do nothing. I have always been stronger than you."
My threat to Loveline, while she was pregnant with Jonathan, came back to me and I suddenly understood the fear which caused goosebumps through my body.
"Toyin... I can't explain it all."
She screamed and started crying. The Toyin I was seeing right now was fighting it against the bad guy she was creating within herself.
"This isn't you, Toyin."
"Don't you dare call my name, who are you to tell me who I am?"
"Open the door!" Mr Olubiyi's voice rang out as she banged the door.
"Help me," I screamed terrifically.
Toyin bit me again and again and I began to feel the pain go through me.
"I'm so... I was horrible to you and I deserve this but not my baby."
"What took you so long to walk up to me?” She sniffled and her sweat dropped on my face.
"I know. Too long."
Toyin's parents continued to try to force their way in and I hoped they did. I was starting to feel tired of anguish.
Toyin grabbed a pillow and forced it down my face. I would have fought her in the beginning, but I was here to beseech her and seek her forgiveness. And fighting her was more like urging her to hit me more. I was beginning to be out of breath when the door finally opened. Her parents took her away from me as she still tried to reach for my neck.
I gasped and stood up, feeling my pregnancy. I didn't know why she didn't punch my baby instead of my face if she wanted me to feel so much pain and lose my baby so badly.
Mrs Olubiyi let me out in a hurry and offered me water. "I don't know why she behaved like that to you; she didn't even to the men that came to visit her before you did. I thought your coming here was going to make a difference in her life, but it only worsened it. She has never been like that."
"I'm sorry I caused this."
"It's okay, just be careful around her."
"I will, but I want you to know she loves you both and she regrets causing you pain. She isn't also mad. She knows what she is doing."
"Thank you."
I nodded and left. As I sat in the car, recalling how scary Toyin's face had been as she was coming for me again, I realized we all had one thing or the other going on for us. Especially those of us that were once gangsters in the pain we must have caused our parents or anyone close to us which must be causing it to take it out on another person.
Lost in thought, it took me off guard when a hand behind me suddenly blindfolded my eyes and injected me. It was so fast that there was no time to think. One thing I remember was that I was sedated and carried out of the car. I could sense I was kidnapped before my eyes closed.