"There was a lot truth in this comparison, it does not deny that love is essential for marriage, but it shows also that marriage is more, infinitely more than just love, it is not only moonlight and roses, but also dishes and nappies.
"Still, in spite of this fact, it remains  doubtful whether the wedding entrance is the most promising one, the danger is very real that the power of love never join the play of forces and thus never help to unfold the dynamism of the triangle, it is to say the least, a great risk to arrange a wedding with out the consent of the partners involved.
"I once took in a discussion group with university girl students at a large Africa university, the girl wanted to ask questions about marriage, to my greatest surprise , their most burning question was:
"How can we succeed in not getting married?"  I said;   "Why don't you want to get married?" the answer:  "We see many empty marriage with out love all around us that we are frightened at the thought of entering through the wedding entrance."
"Therefore the modern answer has another proposition to make, it suggests entering from the sex angle and would use therefore, 
       
                           The Sex  Entrance
"I would like to make one thing clear at the beginning, when I speak today about those who want to enter into the triangle from the sex entrance, I do not talk about engaged couples, their problem is a special one and I shall deal with it tomorrow.
"Today I speak about these who start to build their marriage with sexual experience, because they think that love will grow out of it, then as a matter of course they think that this love will change into faithfulness and from there almost automatically, will finally lead to the wedding."
I held up my wooden triangle again and pointed first to the angle on the right, the sex angle, from there to the left, and then to the top.
"Or maybe even the other way around, they believe that the sexual surrender will oblige the other one to marry them and then with the marriage license in hand love will some how follow.
"Both beliefs are illusory, love does not grow out of sex love must grow into sex.
"True, within marriage under the shelter of the tent, sex give strength to love, but out side the tent sex is not practiced for love's sake but purely egoistic reason.
"Why does a boy try to sleep with a girl whom he hardly knows and for whom he doesn't really care? usually there are three major motives :
1. He is afraid that, unless he has sex, he will become sick, or neurotic or both.
2. He think he has to learn by doing.
3. He wants to brag about his conquest.
"The first reason is not true, the second is not possible, the third is mean, simply, mean, none of them come out of love and concern for other one, young man who argues like that thinks only of himself, he uses a girl as a means toward an end, as a tool to reach his goals , he does not prepare him self for marriage.
"Why would a girl give her self to a boy whom she hardly knows and for whom she does not care? again there are usually three major motives involved:
1. She wants to be popular with the boys.
2. Consciously or unconsciously, she wants to know whether she can become a mother.
3. She wants to bind the boy  and provide herself with a husband.
"Again all three motives come out of selfishness and not out of love, a girl who gives herself up for one of these reasons does not prepare herself for marriage either, she may become popular, but with the wrong kind of boy, soon she will be know as an "easy" girl and those who choose her for this reason will certainly make poor husbands.
"She may become pregnant and thus receive the assurance that she can become a mother, but then she has degrade her baby as a means toward an end and it may also have to grow up with out a father.
"To bind the boy by sexual intercourse is in most cases an illusion, the boy usually loses interest in a conquest fortress, even if he would marry the girl out of obligation such a marriage has a poor prospect of success, a disappointed girl once told me this:
"For me it was the beginning, for him it was the end." instead of catching, she lost what she wanted to catch and learned from the bitter experience that sex not only does not make love grow, but that it can destroy it.
"There is a story in the bible which could not be found in any news magazine of our day, in 2 Samuel 13 we read how the king son, Amnon, seduced him self sister, Tamar , he pretended that he was sick and insisted that Tamar feed him personally, she had to bake little cake before his very eyes, but baking cake was not enough, she also had to put them in his mouth and this only after both were alone in the bedroom did not protest at all.
"Then it happened as it had to happen: "But when she brought the cake near him to eat, he took hold of her, and said to her,  "come lie with me."  Tamar now tried desperately, at the last moment, to get the wedding angle into the picture, she asked Amnon to get the wedding license from the king.
"But no!  "He would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he forced her, and lay with her."  then we find a statement of tremendous consequences, the next verse reads.
"Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her, and Amnon said to her, "Arise,  be  gone,"