This moment feels like pure joy, a memory that will remain etched in my heart forever. Little did I know that my godfather, Fr. Jowie had orchestrated a grand surprise birthday celebration, with preparations secretly underway for whole day. To ensure my absence from the center for an extended period, he kindly asked me to assist in decorating the church and tidying his office.
Fr. Jowie went above and beyond by renting a magnificent sound system, creating an immersive atmosphere that elevated the excitement of my birthday. The children in the center, even though it was their designated sleep time, gleefully abandoned their beds. They not only enjoyed the delicious feast but also experienced the thrill of dressing up as princes and princesses, engaging in lively play and dance.
Throughout the evening, waves of emotions washed over me, bringing tears of joy to my eyes when our kind neighbor Grandma Rosa appeared, engulfing me in a warm and tight embrace. Aware that mentioning my father Rudy would dampen the festivities, she skillfully avoided the topic. I, too, refrained from asking about him, as I wasn't ready to confront those emotions just yet.
"Now, let us call our radiant debutante, Andrea Agustin, to the center of the dance floor for the enchanting Eighteen Roses," announced the unfamiliar yet friendly emcee at the birthday program. I later learned that she was one of the center's dedicated staff members.
As I made my way towards the center of the grand hall, constructed of sleek concrete, my heart raced with nervous and excitement. Every eye in the room fixated upon me, and for the first time in my life, the gentle fabric of a gown adorned my frame.
"Now, let us invite Mr. Joseph Terrence Agustin to share the first dance with our exquisite debutante. Let's give him a round of applause, children," announced the effervescent emcee.
From the center of the hall, I spotted Oteph, radiating happiness as he approached with a smiling face, clutching a plastic rose in his tiny hand. An overwhelming surge of joy invaded my being as I watched him draw near, ready to be my first dance partner of the night. In a princely manner, he bowed before me and presented me with the rose.
"Happy birthday, Ate," he whispered, still harboring a hint of shyness.
Gratitude filled my heart as I accepted the tenderly offered rose, our sworn unspoken bond cemented in that precious moment. I reciprocated his gesture, lowering myself for him to plant a gentle kiss on my cheek. Tears welled in my eyes, witnessing the remarkable transformation of my young brother within the few days since arriving at the center. I marveled at his newfound ability to smile without the shackles of fear.
"May I have this dance, Ate?" he asked, brimming with uncontainable joy. I wondered who had taught him to be such a gentleman that evening.
I clasped his hand, his left enveloped within mine, while his right firmly settled upon the small of my back. My left hand gracefully rested upon his shoulder, and together, we traversed the dance floor, swaying as if we were the prince and princess of a fairytale.
"I hope I have brought you joy on your birthday, Ate. You always seem so sad," he whispered, his words nearly drowned by the lively music emanating from the enchanting sound system.
"Indeed, you have blessed me with immense joy, Oteph. But my happiness is intensified by witnessing your own radiant joy," I replied, cherishing every step of the dance. I lost count of the number of times Oteph accidentally stepped on my aching feet, but such trivial discomfort paled in comparison to the profound connection we shared on that dance floor.
"Yes, Ate, I am so happy too. All the other children are thrilled because this is their first time they have experienced such a celebration at the center," Oteph expressed affectionately. "I hope we can have more moments like these, Ate. With plentiful food and playing together like we did today."
"However, Oteph, we must acknowledge that such elaborate celebrations cannot be a constant occurrence. They can be quite costly, and the funds allocated for these festivities could be better utilized to provide food and other essential provisions for the children here at the center. I am fortunate that Fr. Jowie organized this extraordinary affair," I explained to my young brother tenderly.
Before Oteph could pose further queries, the emcee beckoned the next child to present a flower and share a dance with me. Oteph released my hands, bidding me a courteous farewell before proceeding to grant another child the same enchanting opportunity. I watched him attentively as he rejoined the group of children, immersed in their shared joy and indulging in the delectable festive fare.
Throughout the night, fatigue failed to encroach upon my spirit, despite my day-long efforts to decorate the church for an upcoming wedding. Following Oteph, six more boys adorned me with their flowers, trailed by Mrs. Verna, Mama Flora, and Ms. Teresa—the three mothers of the center, lovingly nurturing Oteph and me amidst the center's embrace. In that moment, I felt a profound sense of belonging among their maternal warmth, particularly Mama Flora, whose eyes shimmered with tears. She confided in me, allowing the pathos of reminiscence to surge forth. She shared memories of her youngest daughter, whose age would have mirrored ours had she not been tragically taken from this world too soon. I embraced her tenderly, my hand caressing her back, feeling the deep maternal love she bestowed upon me, as if she were my very own mother.
Next on the list was Fr. Jowie—an unexpected choice that caught me by surprise. Coldness gripped my hands, nerves scraping at my composure. My mother's best friend, also my godfather, an ordained priest, tasked with sharing a dance with me—thoughts of my mother, Luisa, flooded my mind. Memories of that day she introduced me to Uncle Jowie at the town church, where we serendipitously crossed paths. She proudly introduced him as my godfather, though he couldn't be present at my baptism due to his ongoing seminary studies. I watched their joyous reunion, as they conversed with nostalgia, relishing their shared history from their youth. We couldn't remain for long, as my mother required a visit to her doctor for a check-up on the growing mass in her left breast. It was that day we discovered the devastating news—advanced-stage uterine cancer, spreading relentlessly throughout her body, reaching stage 4.
When my mom was in the hospital, she often talked to me about Fr. Jowie, someone she wanted to be more than just friends with. But it hurt my mom because Fr. Jowie decided to dedicate himself to God. There was nothing my mom, Luisa, could do except let go, especially since God became her competition. She said that if Fr. Jowie hadn't chosen to become a priest, maybe they could have ended up together. It's possible that I wouldn't even exist in this world, and maybe Oteph wouldn't either.
"Happy Birthday to my incredibly kind godchild," my godfather greeted me, handing me a plastic rose flower. The stories my mom had shared with me about the priest faded away as he danced with me on the middle of the dance floor.
"Th-thank you, Father," I replied, quickly taking the artificial red rose from his hand. "You're such a trickster. I was genuinely surprised," I added.
Among Jowie laughed at my comment. "Forgive my limited abilities, Andrea," he said as we started to dance. "It's all I can do for your 18th birthday."
"I'm actually the one feeling embarrassed because you made my birthday so special. I will never forget this, never," I emotionally expressed. I felt like he was a true father figure, proud of me as we danced together, where most of the audience were children.
"As your godfather, it is my responsibility to be a second father to you, to fulfill the role your parents cannot. I am delighted to do this for you and for my best friend, your mother, whom I know is watching over us from the heavens," he said, smiling warmly at me.
"Thank you, Fr. Jowie. My mom is truly fortunate to have you as her best friend," I replied, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Don't cry, my dear. It would be a shame to ruin your makeup with tears. Besides, isn't it exciting to have your debut party resemble a children's party?" he teased, which made me chuckle even though I was becoming emotional.
"Father, I'm getting really emotional, and you're just making me laugh."
Father Jowie released a hearty laugh, then grew serious once more.
"I made a promise to your mom that, in her absence, I would be one of the caretakers and protectors for you and your little brother. I won't let you down. So, there's no need for you to worry, my dear."
I nodded in response to Fr. Jowie's words. If only he knew how much relief his words brought to my troubled heart. If only he knew how essential his presence was to both Oteph and me. I nestled against his left chest as he continued to sway with me. It felt as though no one could harm my sibling and me anymore because we had a steadfast father figure who would defend and protect us - my godfather, Among Jowie.
Time slipped away, and many others took turns dancing with me throughout the evening. I still couldn't believe that I was experiencing my own debut, a birthday celebration I never dreamed of for my 18th birthday. Not everyone has the opportunity to experience such a special event, so I am immensely grateful to my godfather.
"Ladies and gentlemen, let us all welcome Gem Ver Dela Rea, the escort of our debutant for tonight," the emcee announced, standing beside the sound system.
I met his gaze as he approached me with a radiant smile. His almond-shaped eyes seemed to radiate joy, and truth be told, I had secretly admired him since we became classmates in seventh grade. He had become my partner in crime, my confidant. However, I remained unsure of my feelings, and our relationship had stayed rooted in friendship. At times, I couldn't help but feel sorry for his persistent attempts at courtship, despite my inability to reciprocate his romantic feelings.
As he drew closer, he presented me with a bouquet of exquisite roses. It was the first real flower I had ever received.
"Happy 18th birthday, my princess," he wished me, his eyes sparkling with warmth. His deep dimples on both cheeks added to the sweetness of his smile, giving me a flutter of excitement.
"Thank you," I replied, my voice filled with genuine gratitude, matching his sweet smile.
He gently kissed my cheek, and I could feel his warm breath against my skin, sending a delightful shiver through my body. It felt as if electricity coursed through my cheek at the touch of his lips. Time seemed to stand still in those precious moments, and I found myself drawn to him. His eyes, though somewhat unsettling, gazed into mine with an intensity that penetrated deep into my soul, leaving me pondering whether he had found a place within my heart and if he would linger there forever.
"You're absolutely stunning. I wish I could see you shine like this every day," he whispered to me.
"Seriously?" I replied, playfully pinching his shoulder. "Well, at least you didn't bring along your inexperienced girlfriend," I added.
"Girlfriend? I don't have one. Unless you're planning to say yes to me tonight?"
"You goof," I chuckled. "Oops, I'm sorry," I quickly corrected myself, realizing that I would only get to experience this occasion once. Tonight would be my chance to fully embrace my femininity.
He burst into laughter but stifled it. "Why the sudden change of heart? Will you finally say yes to me now?"
"Yes, I've already said yes to you a long time ago," I reassured him.
"Really? You said yes to me?" he asked, confusion evident on his face. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.
"Yes, didn't I already tell you before that we're more than just friends? I love you as my best friend and as a sibling," I explained.
"Ouch, dude. You always know how to tease me," he replied, but I could see the underlying sadness in his eyes, despite his attempts to conceal it. "I know, even without you saying it, that you have feelings for him," he mentioned again. This time, his smile disappeared.
"What? Who?" I asked, feigning surprise. Although he didn't answer, I already knew who he was referring to.
He leaned closer to my ear once again. "Stop pretending. I know you have feelings for Sir Walter."
My ears burned and the warmth spread to my face. He looked at me, attempting to force a smile.
"Dude, it's my birthday today. Can we not talk about that right now?" I pleaded with him. He nodded, but the smile on his face seemed forced. "You look handsome today," I complimented, staring into his expressive, slanted eyes.
"I've known that for a while. It's not a big deal," he replied nonchalantly. But his genuine smile returned to his lips.
"You are handsome. I've always appreciated that about you," I said sincerely to Gem Ver, resting my left cheek against his chest. I caught a whiff of the familiar cologne he wore, the one I gifted him on his birthday because I knew it was his favorite.
"I missed you," I whispered softly. I felt his heart race in his chest and I looked up at his face.
"I missed you too, so much," he replied. His hand gently caressed my back.
"If only that easy, Gem. Why not? I hope the day will come when I can reciprocate your feelings," my mind whispered as I continued to gaze at him.
I don't know why, but I suddenly felt a pang of sadness for him. I didn't understand why I could only offer friendship to Gem Ver for now. I also couldn't fathom why, out of all the beautiful people who liked him at school, my affections were only a crush. But, deep down, I wondered if he truly felt the same way about me.
I felt his gentle touch on my cheek as he brushed my hair behind my ear. His eyes met mine, and a smile graced his lips.
"I'm genuinely happy that you're having a great time tonight," he said in a serious tone. "You know, if I ever have a girlfriend, I'd want it to be you."
His words caught me off guard. I wasn't accustomed to Gem Vher being this sincere about his pursuit of me.
"Gem?" I managed to utter.
"Wait, let me finish," he interrupted, and I couldn't find the words I wanted to say.
"I like you, Drew. Despite always presenting myself as funny, loud, and teasing towards you, when it comes to my feelings for you, I'm dead serious."
"Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow, taken aback by his revelation. "But we're best friends, right?"
"Best friends," he confirmed, but with an emphasis that spoke volumes.
"For now, Gem, that's not something I have thought about, especially considering our age. Let's just enjoy being teenagers and live our lives to the fullest. My priority right now is Oteph. You know the situation between us as siblings, right?"
He nodded, locking her gaze with mine. I could tell he was genuine in his emotions, but as I had mentioned, I needed to prioritize our sibling bond, especially with Fr. Jowie taking us away in a few days.
"I'll wait, while I wait for that day to come, I'll be there to support you and your sibling," he said, his face adorned with seriousness.
"I'm really lucky to have you as my best friend," I expressed my gratitude. "But, Gem, you don't need to do all that. You've already helped me so much. That means a lot to me," I argued. It was true that he had been there for me in countless ways, from treating me to meals when I couldn't afford them, to giving me extra work at their shop, and even lending me money. His support meant the world to me. That's why I always felt hesitant whenever he mentioned his desire to take our friendship to another level. I wanted us to remain best friends because I feared losing our bond if a romantic relationship failed.
"No, I insist!" he persisted firmly. "By the way, happy birthday, dude. I'm sure you'll have the best children's birthday party ever," he said with laughter, planting a playful kiss on my cheek.
"You're such a goofball. It's a children's party huh?," I replied with a chuckle, teasing him about his comment on my party being a children's event. I lightly pinched his smooth cheeks, unable to resist the adorable dimples on each side of his face.
"Ouch!" he exclaimed, reacting to the pinch.
"Oops, sorry, sorry." I immediately released my grip on his face, noticing a slight blush on his cheeks.
He gingerly touched his flushed face, his serious expression returning. Looking at me, he said, "Just kidding!" followed by a hearty laugh.
"You know, you're such a troublemaker, always teasing me," I playfully retorted, joining in his laughter. However, the joviality faded as I contemplated what lay ahead for Oteph and me after tonight. What fate awaited us beyond the confines of the center?
"Are you alright, Drew?" Gem Ver suddenly inquired, sensing my sudden shift in mood.
"Huh? Yeah, I'm okay," I responded, taking a deep breath.
"Alright, if you say so," he replied, his concern visible.
"I hope we can always have moments like this, you know?" I sighed, longing for a continuation of our carefree bliss.
"Why?" he questioned.
"Just because everything feels so happy right now, and we can momentarily forget about the hardships in our lives," I explained.
"Tsk! I thought you were asking because you genuinely wanted to be with me and enjoyed dancing with me," he playfully remarked.
"Is that so? You're getting ahead of yourself," I jokingly replied, gently squeezing his shoulders.
"As long as you behave, alright?" he defended himself, perhaps expecting a scolding from me. But today, he was fortunate. It was a special night for me, so I would be amicable and restrained, knowing that such moments were rare in my life.
"And as long as you behave too, dude?" I said.
"I am behaving, okay?" he replied with a quick retort, followed by contagious laughter.
"Alright, if you say so." I joined his laughter, cherishing this memorable night.
After a few more minutes, he bid me farewell and made her way back to his seat on the audience.
As I watched his retreating figure, I let out a sigh, finding myself alone in the middle of the dance floor while everyone around me clapped and cheered. The emcee announced that it was time for everyone to join in the dancing.
Mama Flora approached me, concerned about how I was doing, and invited me to eat so that I wouldn't go hungry. It was then that I realized my hunger had been lingering since before. Mrs. Verna also came by to ensure my makeup was still intact. In truth, I wasn't keen on wearing makeup, but who was I to complain? They had put so much effort and thought into planning and preparing for my birthday, even considering the fact that my sibling and I had only recently arrived at the center. Despite feeling the occasional itch from the makeup, I cherished the incredibly joyful birthday party they had organized for me. I would always hold that memory close as I navigated through life.