-FEATHER'S P.O.V-
Walang tigil sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko seeing Xavier and Athea kissed. It is one of the most painful scene I have ever seen just like how I witnessed Heather died out of her illness.
Parang guguho ang mundo ko sa sakit. I was trying my best para mapatawad niya but he kept doing unpredictable things and at the same time painful ones. He said I was his property...but what I witness now is making me feel as If I am nothing.
Why does he have to hurt me like this? Alam kong nagkasala ako but of all, he know's better why I did it. Alam niyang mahal ko siya but he kept doubting my love. I have made a mistake in my life and to him pero sa tingin ko napagdurusahan ko na yon ngayon.
Diko mapigilang umiyak untill Xavier saw me. He suddenly pushed Althea at biglang tumakbo papalapit sa akin.
Kahit nanghihina ay ginawa ko ang lahat para tumakbo at lumayo sa kanya. Lumayo sa sakit.
Ang sakit-sakit makitang may kahalikang iba ang mahal mo. Oo, nagawa ko siyang saktan but above all alam niya kung gano kalaki ang itinaya kung bahagi nang pagkatao ko when I promised Heather something. Alam nyang masasaktan ako in the end but I chose to love him than keeping my promise to Heather and now I end up suffering from pain seeing how he torments me.
"Featherrrrr!!!.... let me explain!!!" Sigaw niya ngunit dali-dali akong napapara nang taxi at agad sumakay. Kitang-kita ko ang paghabol niya sa taxing sinasakyan ko and all I did is cry. I love him pero masakit na. This is not me... di ako martyr at di ako magpapakamartyr. If he can't find a reason to forgive me then I'll let him be nagdusa na ako sa lahat nang pasakit niya. Siguro bawi na ako sa kasalanang nagawa ko na pinagdusahan ko rin naman. Feeling the guilt for over 3 years is like burning my soul in hell.
Iyak lang ako nang iyak as I found my self stopping the taxi. Nagdadalawang isip man ang taxi driver na ibaba ako dahil sa walang katao-tao na lugar nakung saan kami tumigil ay wala rin siyang nagawa.
-XAVIER'S P.O.V-
I kept dialing Feathers number but I can't reached her. I immediately drove my car and found my way to Luna's mansyon.
Fuck! What have I done?
Damn you Althea!!
I didn't kissed her but she did and Feather saw us. Seeing her in pain dahil sa nakita niya ay parang may something sa loob ko na di kayang makitang nasasaktan siya but then I kept hurting her since nalaman ko na siya si Feather. I love her... for who she really is and not the Heather I know.. I love her more than Heather but I was so stupid for being blinded by the anger and the pain inside me.
Agad akong nag doorbell sa mansyon nila Luna at Rage.
"Where's Feather? Let me see her... I need to explain! Ilabas nyo sya!!" Diko mapakaling untad kay Luna nang lumabas siya sa gate nila.
"ANO? Teka...si Feather she's not here ano bang nangyayari?" Tila naguguluhang tanong ni Luna sa akin.
Diko pa man siya nasagot ay naramdaman ko ang paglapat nang kamao ni Rage sa mukha ko.
"SINAKTAN MO SIYA!!WALANG HIYA KA XAVIER!!" Sigaw ni Rage sa akin at pinagsusuntok ako natigil lang siya nang pumagitna na si Luna.
"You will pay for this! Pag may nangyari kay Feather... papatayin kitang hayop ka!" I can't Imagine na ganito ang irereact ni Rage he really Loves her pero sinaktan ko lang siya.
"Kuya.. I can't reach her baka mapano siya... and..." Natigil si Luna sa pagsasalita kaya agad akong napalingon sa kanya.
"And what?!!"diko mapakaling tanong sa kanya.
"Pagsisihan moto Xavier pag may nangyari sa kanya!!!" Matiim na saad ni Rage sa akin at agad umalis sabay paharurot sa sasakyan niya.
"Luna answer me!!!" Tila nawawalan na nang pasensya kong tanong kay Luna... ano bang nangyayari kay Feather and they are acting as If may hindi magandang mangyayari sa kanya.
"What did you do to her Xavier? I know Feather hindi ka niya susukuan... not unless kong labis mo na siyang nasaktan.. magbulag-bulagan kaman mahal ka ni Feather at kahit ano pa ang isipin mo di matatabunan ang katutuhanang mahal ka niya... nagdusa rin siya katulad mo.. nawalan siya nang kambal and she promised something na alam niyang sa huli ay siya rin ang masasaktan because she's afraid na masaktan ka ulit... I know it isn't right but it was all because out of her love for you..she endured 3 years of feeling the guilt na kasama ka... but you never got the chance to realize and see her for bieng her... Nagsinungaling siya kahit alam niyang masasaktan siya sa huli. And I know your hurt Xavier malaki ang kasalanang nagawa ni Feather... Alam kung hindi lang simpleng panluluko ito but then, untill Heather's last breath all she wanted is to keep you away from pain. Mas inisip ka niya and Feather on the other hand sa tagal nang panahong di niya nakasama si Heather, all she wanted is to take care of her twin sister but faith took them away apart. Naipit si Feather sa hiling nang kapatid niya it was all she could do seeing Heather on the verge of death.Nais man niyang humindi ay tinupad niya ang hiling ni Heather. I know it's absurd at alam kung masakit sa part mo ang panloloko nila but can't you see? Heather died wishing for you the best... and it is to keep you away from pain..." My breath was takin' away from me hearing Luna. I was left stunned in realization. I can't even utter any single word out of the foolishness I did for the past weeks. Magrereact na sana ako nang magpatuloy si Luna.
"At sinalo yun ni Feather. Di kaba naging masaya sa loob nang tatlong taon? Alam kung lubusan kang naging masaya... but in return of your happiness is the miserable life Feather has... tinalikuran niya ang buhay niya, ang pamilya nya, the guilt, Heather's death at ang malayo siya sa pamilya niya... damn that must be so hard to Feather... facing it all alone...iniwan niya ang pagiging Amethyst Feather niya... sabihin na nating di tama ang nagawa nila but Xavier... di lang ikaw ang nasasaktan...di lang ikaw ang nagdusa..." Hearing Luna said those made me wanna punch my self to death...
Agad kong inutusan lahat nang mga tauhan ko to find Feather... I need to say sorry and say that I love her...
Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat... I can't be too late... I can't afford to lose her.
-RAGE'S P.O.V-
Di mapakaling tinitingnan ko ang cellphone ko na kanina pa kakadial sa number ni Feather habang nagdadrive.
'Asan ka ba Feather?' Naisaisip ko.
Heck! Buntis siya and ang walang hiyang si Xavier ay walang kaalam-alam. Alam kong nag over react ako kanina but thinking na sinaktan niya si Feather in her state makes me wanna kill him at iparealize kung gano siya katanga..
I may not know the reason kung bakit nag-away sila ni Xavier but seeing how regretful Xaviers eyes is ay alam kung labis na nasaktan si Feather. Xavier loves her but too foolish to cover it up with his pride and anger.
Nakarating ako sa madilim na bahagi nang daanan untill I remember kong san ko minsan nakikita si Feather na nag-iisa na tila ba may malalim na iniisip habang tanaw ang boung kamaynilaan. Agad akong nag u-turn at nagtungo sa lugar nakung saan sa tingin ko ay nandon siya.
Di nga ako nagkakamali dahil kita ko agad ang bulto nang isang babae malapit sa puno. Agad akong napababa sa sasakyan ko and saw Feather crying habang nakatanaw sa view nang boung manila nangamba pa ako dahil nasa cliff kaming bahagi nang lupa.
'Why does Feather have to be in this dangerous kind of place?'
I walk slowly but enough for her to hear my foot steps. She gazed upon me and to see her eyes swollen as her tears stream down continuously, weakens me.
"Rage... ba't ansakit? Mahal ko siya.. pero masakit na.." Nanghina ako lalo nang marinig ko ang hinanakit sa boses niya.
"I don't know what to do anymore Rage... gusto ko nang matigil ang sakit... ang sakit na dito eh..ang sakit sakit... nagdusa rin ako Rage nagpanggap at tinalikoran ang pagiging ako.. the thoughts kept me thinking all night for over 3 years.. a sinful promised I did also torments me pero bakit kailangang maramdaman ko pa ang ganitong klase nang sakit? Rage kasi... sa loob nang tatlong taon parang kinakain ako nang kasalanan ko... it's burning me at ang sakit. Mahal ko siya kahit ang mahal niya ay si Heather... grabeng karma ata to...." mahinang tumawa si Heather with her tears continuously dropping.
Without saying a word ay niyakap ko siya as I let her cry in my shoulders.
"I can't find the right words to lessen your pain... but ilabas mo lahat Feather.. andito lang ako." Paalala ko sa kanya kasabay nang mas lalo niya pang paghikbi... nasasaktan akong makita siyang ganito..if pwede lang na kunin ko lahat nang sakit niya ay ginawa ko na...pero napaka unfair rin talaga nang mundo..
"Im letting go of him Rage." Bigla niyang saad na ikinagulat ko habang himig ang sakit sa kanyang boses sa gitna nang kanyang paghikbi...
"Im letting go of that Mafia Lord Rage... kahit masakit." She stated at mas umiyak pa nang todo.. I didn't say anything even if it surprises me hearing those words...
Ano bang ginawa mo Xavier that shes willing to let go of you?
-Feather's P.O.V-
Iyak nang iyak lang ako sa bisig ni Rage habang nasasaktan sa iniisip na gagawin kong desisyon. Yes I have made up my mind. Totoo ang sinabi ko kay Rage I'm letting go of him at hindi lang dahil nakita ko silang dalawang Althea na magkahalikan pero kung iisipin, me and Xavier what we have is an ill-fated relationship. He thought I was Heather at pinaikot namin ang buhay niya, I made him believe I was Heather. I may not admit it but what I did is unforgivable I'm too stupid para mag-expect nang kapatawaran kay Xavier and then parang sirang plakang nag replay sa isip ko ang mga binitiwang salita ni Xavier
"Pagbabayaran mong pinaglaruan mo ako... now I remember your name... Amythyst Feather... pagsisihan mo ang ginawa mong pangluluko sa akin."
"Akin ka lang... and I won't let go of you not untill you pay for what you've done."
"What now?! You will bewitched me again with your lies? Tandaan mo to dika makakawala sa akin. You are mine and mine only! Pag-aari kita kaya itatak mo sa kukute na wala nang iba pang makakakuha sayo.. I will make sure na mapagbabayaran mo lahat nang nagawa mong kasalanan sa akin!"
Reminiscing the things Xavier said aches my heart. Ano pa nga ba ang ine- expect ko he wanted his revenge yet I want his forgiveness. That explain kung bakit nagiging mahirap siyang basahin for the past few days. One day he will make love tas lalayo.. din magpapakita nang concern and then ibubuhos ang galit niya sa akin...and he would do something na nakakataba nang puso at magiging cold rin now I realized that it was just part of his revenge.
"What's your plan now? He will eventually find you... you know who is Xavier and what he can do." Napatingin ako kay Rage at saka hinawakan ang phone ko. Sure ako na nate-trace na niya ako ngayon.
I made up my mind. What's the point of letting him fulfill his revenge kung palagi nalang akong nasasaktan knowing I wouldn't recieve any forgiveness.
Im letting go of him masakit man but I need to do it for me and my baby. There's a small chance na magkakaayos pa kami. We are both wounded from my sin and his revenge.
"Rage would you help me runaway?" Tanong ko kay Rage kahit nagdadalwang isip man.
Napatigil si Rage dahil sa sinabi ko pero di kalaunan ay tumango rin. I don't intend to use Rage para maibsan ang lungkot ko pero I need his help to find me a new place away from Xavier.
Agad naming nilisan ang lugar at napagdesisyonan kong iwan ang phone ko. Nasa phone ko ang huling mensahe ko kay Rage.
I know I would be so unfair and cruel from hiding the truth about pregnancy pero alam kung di na kami magkakaayos pa. Nais kung makuha ang tawad niya but all he wanted from me is revenge. Kaylan may di mo maipagsasama ang apoy at tubig. What would be our future be like if it is full of hatred?
Maapektuhan lang ang anak namin. I love him but he hates me hindi na tamang ipagpatuloy ang di na pwede.
Nilisan namin ni Rage ang lugar habang iniwan ko ang pangakong aalagaan ko si Xavier para kay Heather.
-XAVIER'S P.O.V-
Halos mabaliw na ako kakaisip kung nasaan si Feather. I kept dialing her phone pero wala to the point na pinatrace ko na ang GPS nang phone niya.
Nang makuha ko na ang location niya ay agad kong pinatakbo ang sasakyan ko. I was on my way to where she is habang iniisip kung gano ako naging kasaya sa piling niya. From being heartless she changed me. She showed me how to Love unconditionally and she showed me how to live a life with love. I was once a Mafia Lord who knows nothing but to be a merciless and unforgivable jerk but since I started to fall for her she tamed the demon inside me. Pero sa isang iglap nasira ang lahat. I didn't realize kung gano rin kasakit and desisiyong pinili niya out of her love to Heather mas pinagtuonan ko nang pansin ang sakit at galit sa puso ko at naging sarado sa kanya. I tormented her knowing she's already been tormenting inside for a couple of years.
Papalapit nako sa lokasyon nakung saan si Feather. Agad tumigil ang beeping nang device na ginamit ko para itrace sya. But saw no one I kept searching for her untill nakita ko ang phone niya sa ilalim nang puno. Agad ko itong kinuha at tumingin sa paligid hoping na nasa malapit lang siya but I saw no one.
I noticed something in her phone it was a recording app at may recently saved na file. I opened it and then I heard Feather's voice na magpapaguho nang mundo ko at magpaparealize kung gano ako katanga.
"I guess natrace muna ang phone ko ngayon Xavier. I know this isn't the right way to say all of this but I'm just too coward to face you.. and I just want to escape...di dahil may nagawa ka pero dahil narin sa kasalanang nagawa ko sayo..." Nangangamba ako sa bawat bitaw niya nang salita. It was like as if she was saying goodbye and it aches my heart tremendously. My throat started to ache.
"Our relationship is Ill fated. Mas lalo lang tayong masasaktan and I don't want na aabot tayo sa puntong magkasakitan na... I love you Xavier and I'm letting you go... what I did is unforgivable...like you said I took away your right to mourn for Heather's death... but whats done is done..diko na maibabalik ang mga desisyon nagawa ko... nagkasala ako sayo and I'm sorry trust me Xavier mag sorry man ako I know it will never be easy for you but still... Xavier I really am... Im really sorry for all the lies... one thing I'll never be sorry for is loving you.. I love you.. you may not believe it. But the love I gave you for the past 3 years na nagpanggap ako ay totoo..."
I find my self breathing so hardly as tears fall down in my cheeks.
No!!...
This is not happening...
Feather...you can't leave me...
I am crying continuously
Habang pinagsisihan lahat nang mga nabitawan Kung mga masasakit na salita sa kanya.
No I can't give up Like this... kakalimutan ko lahat...I will beg for her forgiveness... I will kneel down if I needed to... I can't live with out her.. I can't live without Feather.
-End of Chapter 10-