She left her conscience outside as they entered their room. It was dark and the wind coming from the window is cold, but not enough to cool them down.
She looked up at nothingness as he lay her down and let every part of her feel adored and craved. The muffled sounds of yearnings aired like a lullaby to their ears, urging them to do more than they have started.
Eunice grabbed on the man’s arm and pulled him up. “I want you now,” she uttered before claiming his lips and savored the bliss that only his kisses can give her.
He chuckled and took off his clothes, leaving marks on his possession. She whimpered as he gets further, and it is a torture that in his every touch, he leaves a pinch of pain, yet full of pleasure.
“What are you doing?” she asked when she heard rustling.
“Sofia just turned five, and on our plan—”
“Damn to that plan!” She searched for his hand and threw away the foil he’s holding.
“I am not good at refraining myself, Eu.”
“Just go ahead. I want to feel your bareness.”
She knows he is looking at her, she feels it. What she doesn’t know is what he is thinking. About to sat down, he leaned closer and intertwined their hands above her.
“I will say no to the project offered to me then. That would take two years, and I don’t want to be away when our second child comes out.”
She zipped her lips, for she is certain that he doesn’t have to do that. Slowly, she clung her hips on his waist and reached for his lips.
“You don’t have to. Sofia is already capable of many things, and I know she will help me out.”
She received no reply, but she did get a response for her cravings. He groaned as they became one, and she gasped as she runs out of breath. The room was then filled with love and contentment, hope and desires, guilt and regrets.
Her eyes opened up as she felt their needs are about to be fulfilled, it continued that lasted for minutes. The next thing she knew, she was wishing she could really be able to have offsprings as well.
“Love,” he muttered after a while, laying down beside her, brushing her hair with his fingers.
“Hmm?” She giggled as she felt his hands wandering again.
“I know I have already told you this before, and I will again for the second time around. And somehow, this might confuse you, but I think you always deserve to know that I will love no one but you.” He placed her underneath him once more. “You are her, but I assure you, she will never be you.”
This time, it was her who was taken aback. The night was long, so is their moment. But it has never been the same again. His words are repeatedly echoing in her head, making her understanding it in different perceptions.
‘Right, I have always been given the choice to be someone, but never been the person they wanted to anyone.’ She thought.
—
For hours, even without a proper enough sleep, she woke up early and went to her secret base, where she can be her without any person to know.
She wrote down the things she has observed in the findings given to her by Doctor Dean. Studying it, as he suggested.
It frustrates her, for this time, she has no more little pets to ask in the corner whenever she cannot find any possible answer to her questions.
“This is not going anywhere near to finding the results I need!” she complained and looked for the doctor’s number that she has taken without him knowing.
She frowned, knowing that the man might not even answer the phone. “Okay. I might be just making things complicated, and I should loosen up my triggered cells,” she talked and take a deep breath before reading the writings—again, for the nth time.
Just then, Jean called out of nowhere. Normally, she will not entertain any disturbance if she is so hyped working on something. But her hand was really brainless, that it picked up the phone and seconds after, she has found herself asking the woman about things that she might even not know either.
“You have been with Nil for decades. How did you know that he is a clone?”
[“I have never known. No one of us knows. Not even Fin. He told us himself that he is a clone.”] She can already hear a hint of irritation in her voice.
“And?”
[“And what?”]
“I just wanted to know if there is a noticeable difference between the real one and the clone—”
[“What are you up to again?”] The person on the other line cut her off.
“I just want to know if we can do something about the clone’s condition. That’s all.”
She heard a couple of sighs from the woman. Certainly, Jean is already on the verge of twisting her head. Eunice smiled awkwardly and decided not to go to her place for at least a month. Not until the woman is already in a good mood.
[“Well, he gets sick easily. That is why we don’t let him do things on his own, neither have left him alone. Once he gets ill, it will take a long time for him to recover. Aside from that, there is nothing else I have noticed anymore.”]
“That is already enough. Thank you!” She dialed next Rum’s phone.
“Hello—”
[“This is Jean, Eunice.”]
Her smiles faded as she heard the woman’s voice. She scratch her nape and think of a way how to dismiss the call.
But just when she was about to end it without saying anything, she heard Rum in the background, having a conversation with whoever he is with.
[“Sir, it is Eunice.”] She heard Jean informed.
[“What is it—again?”] the man asked away.
Her forehead creased as she has already guessed that that is how he is exactly going to greet her. She reached for her pen and looked at the least of the people stayed working for them.
“Are you busy today?”
[“I am not going out with you. The last time we did, I thought I was going to die, for Pete’s sake!”]
“Okay, you have already said too much. I am not even planning to ask you to teach me how to fly a chopper again!” she rebutted. “I just wanted to ask if there are some of your men who are confirmed clones. And if there are, do they get sick easily?”
[“Do it Jean. I don’t know what is this for this time, but whatever it is, I just want it to get done already. You know this woman, she doesn’t care her fellows’ peace of mind.”]
The line went static, and later on the call ended. She then received a message from Jean, the list of common illness that Nil used to have before.
She jumped out of her seat and doubled checked if she has read it all right. She did it slowly to make sure that she will not miss anything.
Her hands trembled and tears fall as she hoped for her assessment to be true. She glanced at the conditioning bed that is already been there for long, untouched.
“Okay, just this one. This will be the last time that I will be using it,” she talked, despite her mind telling her not to—as Henry requested, she should have already erased the memories that aren’t hers. But whenever she is thinking about doing it, she is always stopped, that she always ends up postponing doing it.
‘What do you want to remember today, Captain Eve?’ asked the program, to which surprised her because it was only the first time it did that.
“I want to know the real Eve’s past. I want to understand everything, so I can get the peace of mind I am longing for. This is hard, you know. When you are longing for something you don’t even know.”
‘As you wished, Captain,’ Anne announced.
The conditioning bed closed and sedated her. And before her mind gives in to a deep sleep, she heard the machine beeping, counting down back to years that she has not yet even have existed.
The sun is about to rise, and she can already smell the morning breeze. The woman glanced at the man beside her before standing up and headed to the balcony.
“Someday, we will be up there. We will have a world away from chaos and hypocrite people. There will be no other people aside from us,” she whispered, her hand above, seemingly reaching the fading stars.
The scene then shifted to another day. The one where the last time she was taken back to.
“Captain…” one of their subordinates uttered as he pointed at the monitor. “We can’t go home.”
Henry shut his eyes in frustration, and calming down himself at the corner. “So this is what they have really planned since from the start.” He clenched his fist and glanced again at the monitor.
“We can’t die here, Captain. We have to do something!” another one complained.
She tried to talk to him, but he turned off his communication device, giving himself a little time to think. For a second, she felt dismay. Whether they go on with the mission, stay or insist on going back home, all of it is leading them to only one outcome—they will die. That is what she is holding on to, for him to decide and choose the choice she knows he will grab.
He switched on his line, but only to get deafened by the commotion. Everyone is talking in unison.
“Captain!”
“Sir, we need your order now!”
“Henry!” she called.
But when he was about to give his command when their spaceship had already reached the perimeter, of which they should not trespass.
The next thing they heard was that the spaceship’s system has already given them a notice and started to count down.
‘SELF-DESTRUCTION INITIATED. THE SPACESHIP IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE IN THIRTY SECONDS.’
She had a hard time breathing as they escaped—barely did it. They soon landed on the planet unknown to them.
“Henry.”
“I will get us out of here, Euvy, don’t worry. I promise.”
Her eyes watered as she remembered her unwanted childhood past. How she had hated to live and dreamed of killing everyone who made her life miserable.
She turned around and see that she had succeeded. They are finally away from Earth. She observed their team, waiting for them to get ill.
However, fate seems to be against her. Instead of killing them, they just slowly lose their humanity and turned to something else; to which at the end made her change her mind and persuaded Henry to make a cure.
Secretly, every single day, she will spend her hours finding a remedy how to stop the rapid drop of her team’s humanity. Yet, she might be really meant to dispose people, that instead of antidote, she ended up making a lethal weapon. That must be the consequence, and the only way to settle it for good, she thought.
“Euvy.” She heard the man called to her name.
“I am here.”
“We’re leaving now. Wait for me, okay?”
She looked at the only person who had never treated her unfairly; memorized his face in fear that she might not see him again.
“I will. And we will make a future together. I am looking forward to it.”
Eunice woken up, catching for her breath as she sat down after the conditioning bed opened; gasping and gulping at the same time. She can feel her tears and sweat rolling down to her skin. Her hands are cold, imagining how many lives the real her had taken to seek justice.
Her voice cracked as she tried to give Program Anne commands, and realized, she has to do something that the woman had failed to do.
‘I am keeping these memories, Anne.’ She stood up and left.
On her way home, she saw the street where the woman had to raised herself immorally, in able to achieve greatness and make human learn. She gazed away and keep her eyes on the road.
“You don’t need a new world. You just need to have a new hope,” she whispered and speed up.