Chapter 36
It's been two days since they came back to Korea. Their Japan trip was oppressive but Jia managed to come back healthy.
The concert was attended by Yejun, Penelope, and Hyuk. They stayed because it was a responsibility as president of the music club. Jia spent the night at the hospital with Yumi on her side. She still feels anxious but being able to hold her best friend gave her assurance that Yumi is alive and warm against her skin.
"I'm so scared of your safety Jia. I didn't think of anything, I am sorry for making you worry." Yumi says hugging her friend. Jia is camping in her room and even though the doctor told them to stay in each room, Jia is too stubborn not to agree. Yumi receives a minor concussion and a cut from the glass. Thankfully, Yumi has no major injuries.
"I always worry about Yumi. Promise me that you'll be careful, ayt?" Jia pressed her lips to kiss Yumi's cheek. She's still trembling whenever she remembers the accident and Yumi's hug always wash away the gloomy feelings inside her. For Jia, Yumi is a sun, a ray of sunlight that keeps away her demons.
"Anyway, I always thought that Yejun and Penelope are dating but I could be wrong," Yumi said after detaching her body from Jia. She pouted, her habit when there's a piece of interesting news she wanted to discuss over Jia.
"They are though," Jia answers, confused. In the past, Penelope and Yejun are dating already at this time or had mutual feelings for each other after the disaster dinner with her and Jia's parents. Yejun strictly told her to back away and not touch Penelope. That's why Jia is sure about the timeframe.
"Hmm, that's odd. I don't think they're together." Yumi said nonchalantly. Staring at Jia with a weird expression on her face. It's like she is sure of her suspicion and she wants Jia to believe her.
"Trust me Yumi, they were together," Jia says in conviction also in surprise at her determined voice. She blinks because of the strong reaction. Shudder by the mare thought of the fate changing again. She already experienced the first blow and Jia is in no way near facing some nerve-wracking accident again.
"You're not looking at them then. I thought before that you like Yejun, especially about what happened at the dinner with your parents..." Yumi paused, "But I realize that Yejun is more interested in your business nowadays. Hmm, just a hunch." Jia frowned after hearing her friend. Of course, Yumi knows what happened at that dinner. Jia told everything to her best friend but seeing her jumping to conclusions never disappoints Jia. It happened before, well, in the past, Yumi is more aggressive in stopping her from doing crazy things and Jia knows that Yumi was convinced that she liked Yejun although Jia kept denying it. They never really discuss it furthermore.
"I'm not interested in him." Jia tasted the familiar words coming to her mouth, like a Deja vu, seeing herself saying it to Yumi back then.
"Your incredibly dense my friend." Yumi retorted but the after silence riled up Jia more. Convinced that she needs to make Yumi believe her just like before.
"I'm telling the truth. I like Yejun. The same goes for everyone. I like him as my friend." Jia's voice is significantly sharp but low. She grimaced, virtually rolling her eyes with their gibberish conversation.
"Sure." Yumi taunted smiling mischievously to Jia.
"You're making me work up. I don't want to talk about this nonsense." She finally retorted, ending their argument.
That happened the night before their flight. Jia is still anxious because of the butterfly effects. It's hard not to be paranoid but she likes fate to change and Haru warned her before about changing fate has consequences.
Jia went to her room to rest. Tomorrow is another day for school but Jia is so exhausted from attending class. She texted Yumi that she won't make it tomorrow and the latter texted back asking if she was alright. Jia spends her night texting Yumi. They talk about random things and to Jia's annoyance, Yumi keeps mentioning Penelope and Yenjun's relationship as of Jia, she subtly answers her friend. Her goal is for Yejun and Penelope to be together. And Yumi pursues her dreams without them dying. Then she could leave. Jia's eyes were drifting apart as she dreamed of happiness for the people she hurt.
The day passed of Jia doing her habit. She draws designs and feels better filling up the pages. She will later pass it to their artisan for her business.
"Good morning." Yumi greeted her friend in the hallway. Jia after her day off finally went back to school. They gossip and Yumi handles the notes she missed when was absent.
Jia is busy talking with Yumi as they reach the locker. There were only a few people around because it was still early when she heard the news. Yumi is on her phone talking to her mom. A thud made Jia frown until she decided to walk to the noise.
There's an empty hall with voices as Jia gets near in the room. She fastens her pace and sees a girl in a room crying. Her hair is wet and there's a huge stain on her uniform. She also smelled weird. Jia's eyes widen because she recognizes the act. She is precise because she did it too. The same thing this girl experienced when she was bullying Penelope. Her heart twinges on the memory, as more of feeling shame of her past, Jia kneels to check the girl.
"Are you okay?" Jia asked, based on her tie color, the girl is in her first year. The girl froze and looked at her with her big doe eyes.
"W-What..." She mumbled in a soft voice.
"I heard a noise and found you here. Can you walk? Let's go to the infirmary." Jia asserts after and is about to touch the girl but she tenses up, eyes glaring at Jia.
"Uhm, I'm sorry. I will not touch you but can you get up? We need to go to the infirmary to treat your wound." Jia finally stood up following the girl. The hatred she read in her eyes is confusing but Jia understands her feelings. It takes one not to feel crap about yourself when you're in the mud. Jia is also afraid to offend her.
"Why do you care?" Her voice is vicious but Jia comprehends her attitude. They were not friends and this girl is hurt. It's natural for her to be careful and act aggressively with her.
"I'm sorry. I-I just..." She bit her lower lip, not sure what to say. She cannot admit it. Her sins. And she now feels empathy for the girl.
"I don't need help from the likes of you. You're just like them." With that, the girl left the room.
Jia felt the burning heat running down her spine bruising her skin until it was unbearable. It was a blow for her. Yes. How dare she interfere when she once mistreated weak people on a whim. Jia could now hear the words of a victim. The phrases that Penelope had no chance to say to her. The hatred that she's supposed to be carrying right now. Realization is like a needle, piercing her to agony. How dare she act friendly to them after pushing them to death? Jia feels his knees wobble because of the depth of emotion swallowing her whole. It's like her bathing in cold water in the middle of winter. She is the most horrible person ever. Why did she forget that? Did she act so casually that she forgot her sins? No. This is the reminder. She needs to plant in her head that her sins were terrible. She sends innocent people to their death. She has no right to feel comfortable with them. Jia does not deserve her friends. Not a single kindest she could gather.
The tyrannical feelings numb Jia to the core. She froze on the surface wanting to shield herself from the harshness of her crimes. She wanted to apologize, plead to them, asking them to throw nasty remarks at her. Denied her! But Jia is hopeless because she knew herself, guilty. Jia wanted them to forgive her but at the expense of her greed. In the end, Jia did not learn. She is still the old trash she was ago. Self-centered and liking things to be on her way. If she likes forgiveness they should know her sins first. Explain to them how much she was reflecting and promise a better future for them.
Jia cannot even cry because of the humiliation. She's deliberately breathing dried eyes. Grateful that she did not cry. She feels vulnerable as if there is a massive weight on her shoulder. It was a terrifying tension pressuring her to submit and Jia had no one to share those feelings with. Nothing. She is alone.
"Jia?" Yumi's voice made Jia back to reality. She quickly stood up but only to feel dizzy with the sudden action. She coughs to steady her quivering lips and looks at Yumi with a fresh smile, masking her internal interpol.
"Hey. Let's go to class?" Jia doesn't know if Yumi realizes her hoarse voice when she answers her call but when she receives a soft grin from Yumi. They walk together away from that damp place.
Yumi is still clingy as before. Jia lets her tangle her arm while they walk together, pleased for the heat she's receiving. She feels so cold. So so so cold.
End of chapter 36.