Everything became bland again when morning came. It’s as if no one tried to kill me last night.
I haven’t seen Vaughn yet after he left with my attacker. Riain still stopped by a while ago to rant about how his servants ruined his morning. Apparently, he wanted a vanilla bath, but they gave him a rose and milk bath.
Having to endure hearing him rant about baths, I became hyperaware of how I badly needed one.
Minutes after he left, the mean prince and his troops came. We held eye contact for a while before I broke it and glared some place else. I really hope he can feel my hatred from miles away.
Seriously? Can’t he be brave and kill me head on? He really had to order someone to do dirty jobs for him.
There must have been an event today at the palace since everyone left earlier than usual. That means I can loosen the ropes and stretch for a bit.
I guess I’m really back to this routine again.
Well, until I complained about everything going back to normal.
Today, I had an unusual visitor.
It was the baby-faced map guy.
He’s walking in my direction and our eyes met for a bit. We immediately avoided each other’s gazes and looked around awkwardly. I became more aware of the movements that I made, and more conscious if I was breathing too loud. He took timid steps in approaching me while I stayed being tied up.
He still wore a simple outfit. A cream dress shirt partnered with a plain knitted vest and brown pants. He wore a brown worn out leather boots. It looks like it was his favorite shoes to wear with all the scratches on it. He also adorned a fluffy white and grey fur cloak.
He stopped at a respectable distance in front of me. I was about to greet him first, but I stopped when I saw he was about to do the same. In the end, we had our greetings stuck in our throat with our mouth awkwardly hanging. I looked away, and there was just silence.
The sky and the trees looked interesting more than ever.
We fidgeted in our place as the silence grew longer and more awkward. We lost the chance to greet because we wanted to give way to the other and I was waiting for him to greet first.
I don’t know how we became like this. Why is it so hard to converse normally with him? Was it because of our first interaction?
Maybe asking how he has been a good icebreaker.
Or should I just say hello?
Luckily, my plans for starting a conversation didn’t push through. The moment I had the courage to look at him, all I could see was a light brown sandy piece of soft rock—a loaf. I tilted my head a bit to see him, but his face tilted the other way. His body leaned away from me. It’s as if he was feeding an animal that might bite him if he weren’t fast enough.
The audacity he had to shake the bread in front of my face when I was not responding proved those assumptions were true.
My right cheek twitched lightly while I scrunched my eyebrows at him. I wanted to remind him of my predicament, but words were non-existent to him. I sighed and bit the loaf.
However, it confused me at first when it felt like I bit on a carrot. The loaf disappeared from my mouth and suddenly flew away. I only heard a shriek before this guy fumbled to catch the bread.
My face instantly burned when I realized I bit his fingers.
“I’m sorry!” we apologized at the same time.
“N-no! I’m really sorry I bit your fingers!”
“I should be the one to apologize! I didn’t even consider your… situation.”
“I should apologize, too, for not telling you I can’t reach for it. Instead, I bit your fingers.”
“No no no. I apologize for not communicating with you properly.” And we continued to apologize profusely to each other until we reached to a point where we apologized about our interactions. The more we apologize for our past interactions, the louder we got.
“NO, I’M SORRY BECAUSE I WAS BLOCKING YOUR WAY!” my voice raised an octave higher by the end of the sentence.
“NO, I SHOULD BE THE ONE APOLOGIZING BECAUSE I DIDN’T GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS THOROUGHLY. YOU MUST’VE HAD A HARD TIME LOCATING YOUR DESTINATION.” He shouted, reciprocating my energy.
“OKAY, THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS!” we stopped for a while to catch our breath. The loaf was long forgotten in his right hand.
“We are both sorry,” I nodded at what he said. After a few minutes of silence, he tore a small piece of loaf and stiffly reached out in front of my face.
“P-peace offering?” he stuttered. I stared at the loaf he held near the edge with his left thumb, index, and middle finger.
Can I please just evaporate at this moment? Dissolve into nothingness?
I know my situation can’t be helped, but my ego is not taking this well. I squeezed my eyes shut and internally rolled my eyes. Pushing every thought away, I did what I needed to survive.
I timidly leaned forward and carefully bit on the bread. Before I averted my gaze, I caught a glimpse of his warm smile after I took the piece of loaf. He continued to feed me as I continued to feel more worthless.
Eating is something I can still do by myself, and yet someone is helping me with it.
The stretch in my nail bed from scratching the ropes helped ease the discomfort from receiving help. I really hope this will end sooner.
I thought I could breathe normally again until I saw him pull out a water pouch. That medieval looking water bottle.
I internally cringed so hard that my organs ate themselves when he placed it near my mouth. I reluctantly nodded and drank.
Please, no weird thoughts. Your brain is already filled with self-deprecating thoughts right now. You don’t need weird ones. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t—
‘It’s like sucking on—’
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
I finished—
After I drank all the water, I feel like my face is already in ashes with how hot it is from the entire interaction. I still avoided looking at his face like he had sore eyes. I feel like a kid again from everything that has been happening.
“I-I’ll come back tomorrow!” he stuttered before he twisted around and dashed away.
And I still don’t know his name.
True to his words, he came back the next day with another type of bread.
Just like that, he was added to my daily routine. Sometimes, he would come with Riain. However, I preferred him visiting me alone because it’s just chaotic when Riain insists on feeding me, and I agreed WITH consent.
“And then, the servant told me I need to bathe!” Riain exclaimed as he shoved the bread into my mouth. I kept on shooting daggers at him, but it was blatantly ignored as he continued his rambling. He did his story time while he mindlessly tears a piece of the bread and shoving it in my mouth.
“Can you not believe it?!” He complained while shoving another piece of bread while I was not yet done with the previous one. Because of this, I tried my best to chew faster.
“Him?!” As he shoves another bread, the urge to shove soil in his mouth grew stronger (just an intrusive thought. It’s not likely I’ll actually do it… or will I?).
“A servant?!” now, his feeding became more aggressive.
“Telling me what to do?!” This time, he’s just slapping the bread in my mouth. I’m already gagging with all the bread stuffed inside my mouth while the map guy tried to stop his friend by uselessly waving his hands in front of Riain.
The torturous feeding stopped when his friend finally had the courage to actually use his hands to stop him actively.
While I’m grateful that, finally, I’ve been fed properly, I feel like this is more torturous than leaving me tied up. I’ve thought of this before, but on a more extreme measure. You do your torture thing, then heal the person’s wounds, then do it again the next day. Just like people’s perception of hell.
I’m almost experiencing the same. The difference is that I now have more energy to suffer during the day. Thanks to Vaughn tying the rope in a way I can still manipulate it; I untie myself at night to stretch and sit down.
Why haven’t we done this earlier?