<<115>>
* Spread the love. *
****
---- Joseph ----
As I kept on talking with Mira giving me no replies... The more I felt Evie's words were right.
And also... The words from the girl's diary she read to me are becoming so real and true.
For some reason... I felt like Mira was also feeling neglected and abandoned too...
And it really sucked.
Now I can understand what that girl's best friend must have felt when she realized that her friend only thought of herself to be just a burden.
And nothing more than that.
Just thinking about it... made my heart ache.
What would be the use of my care and love if she can't even feel it and believe in it?
Wouldn't it be just a waste of time and effort?
Coming to think of it, I realized that Mira had been having issues with her writing... Something she loves doing the most.
Yet... I haven't said a word about or intervened as I have been too busy.
But I guess... The busy word is really not an excuse as we always create time for people and things that matter mostly to us.
At this point.... I can't help but wonder when my work began to matter more than Mira does to me?
Like when did my devotion to working take the place of Mira in my heart?
I really don't know actually...
But one thing I know is that I have messed up... Big time.
Females are known to be sensitive creatures... But having Studied Mira for the past few years...
I have come to realize that she's overly sensitive and thinks too much of everything!
Gosh! I shouldn't have ignored the signs!
The, " I'm Fine's "
The, " I'll be Fine's "
And most importantly,
The, " I'm surviving's "
Isn't it funny how we became so distant after becoming so close to one another?
Like it really does suck.
At the early stages, I was always there for her and she was too.
We paid a lot of attentions to one another's feelings and emotions... As there was enough time to do that.
We also never forgot to compliment , motivate and inspire one another.
But what now?
Seems like my work has taken Mira's place in my heart.
And Mira?
Being who she is... Decided to find comfort in her writing.
But what now that everything is crashing down right in front of her and she's feeling almost completely drained?
What now?
Haven't I messed up big time?
Then I realized that though our relationship had progressed to an advance level as I'll call it.
We'll have to start afresh to renew the fire of love that once burned.
Because what would be the use of the love and care we claim to have for one another when we can't even be there for one another?
What would be it?
Though... Going back sucks... Like really no one would want to.
Especially when they've gotten to the top of the ladder.
But well... We've got no other choice but to descend back to the bottom and begin the journey once again.
As that's the only thing that can save us from falling flatly on the ground from the top of the ladder.
We claim to be on.
Like... What would be the use of me claiming to be her best friend or Boy friend when she feels so alone and lonely?
What's the use of the titles when all she feels inside is pure emptiness?
Wouldn't it be better if we were just friends and she feels so secure and loved than we being lovers and she feels lost?
Wouldn't it?
[ A/N : Um... I guess it would. ]
I turned Mira over and made her face me...
It was only then did I realize that she was already crying too...
And not only was she crying... She was shaking too.
She was literally trembling.
" Mira? " I called out to her but got no response as she just kept crying...
Only then did I realize the severity of the situation.
I embraced her to myself and allowed her to cry freely on my chest while controlling my tears at the same time.
" Babe? " I called out to her after so minutes of hearing almost nothing from her.
" You know, Jose... I have been wishing for a shoulder to cry on this past few days... But I never got the courage to tell you about it as I didn't want you to see me as a cry baby. "
Her words made me pause in my thoughts.
" But... I know already that you are a cry baby... So what's there to even hide? "
" It's different... Jose. " She sniffed.
" In what way? " I found myself asking much to my own amusement.
" You deserve a much more stable, girl... One who would be stronger along side you and you know... "
I felt a tightening in my chest hearing her words.
So this is all she had been dwelling on all this while?
" Maybe you are right. " I said waiting to see her reaction. And just as my words landed... I saw sadness clouding her vision.
" But I still want you. " I added and almost instantly, I could see the change in her countenance.
Though it wasn't very obvious.
" Why? "
Hearing her question I sighed before holding up her chin with my fingers and stared straight into her eyes as she did same.
" I love you, Mira. Not because you are perfect or anything... But because you are unique. Beautifully and wonderfully made by the creator. "
" But ---- "
I refused to let her speak... " Your not enough's doesn't change my love for you... I love you and that's final! As human beings we all have weakness and strength.. and so we also shouldn't be judged by our weaknesses! We just shouldn't! We are more than our weaknesses.. and we also shouldn't despise them... But rather, we should embrace them and be grateful for them as that's what makes us humans. "
" Are you saying this only to make me feel better? "
To say I was surprised by her Bluntly direct question would be an understatement.
Like I really can't help but wonder when it actually came to this.
Like seriously!
" Mira... I know I haven't been a good Best friend or boy friend this past few days and I deeply apologize for my behavior... Am sorry. "
" Well... It's fine. " She smiled...
But only I knew how fake that smile was.
As always she was trying to cover up her emotions with a smile.
If it would have been before then I would have really believed her smile.
But not anymore.
Not after everything!
I knew... I had a lot of things to do if I wanted to save our relationship.
And... I needed to do it, fast!
....
A/N : Can't help but wonder how fast it'll be, Joseph!