We are on our way to a resort. I am not familiar with the places here, but it seems like Kian knows it. He was even enthusiastic to drive there as he keeps telling us that he knows the family owner, Madrigal.

“Zaine’s family owns the resort. You must know Dwayne, Sha. The musician?” Kian said in front as he is our driver for today. Carmienne sat in the passenger seat, while I am at the back.

“Yeah,” I spoke, smiling. “What about him?”

“Zaine and Dwayne are acquaintances, based on my sister.” He shrugged. “Since Madrigal Towers also owns by the Madrigals, it is also rumored that Dwayne is also staying there, where you also stayed. Am I right?”

“Hmm-hm, he is,” Carmienne cut in. “My friends are also staying there. They’re elites.”

“Kia knows Dwayne?” I asked. I recall the time when I saw Dwayne coming into the elevator of Madrigal Towers. And Daniel also knew him. What a diminutive world it is.

“Yeah. They are attending the same school. In Clivette,” Kian answers as soon as he parks the car.

I immediately saw the beach houses from here. The entrance was already extravagant. The sound of waves of the bluish sea caught my attention. I got more interested in how expensive the entrance fee is here. I doubt it’s pricey.

Someone helps us bring our things. I was astonished at how white the sand here that I want to sit there already. But the blazing sun is not good for our skin as it was already lunch, so we decided to go to our rooms first.

“Just enjoy your stay here, Sha,” Carmienne told me as soon as we enter our room. Kian was in the other room. “I’m sure your husband won’t get mad.”

“He’s not that controlling,” I mumbled.

“You’re just too submissive,” she remarked which is true. “You’re too fond of asking for approval that you can’t even decide for yourself.”

“It is just who I am.”

“Yeah. It’s okay to be who you are, but sometimes, you need to loosen up a bit. You know, explore. Try new things that you do not consider ordinary. In that way, you can also appreciate this life. The life of being free.” She beamed at me. She removed her shirt in front of me and I even avoided my gaze. She is always like this.

“I sometimes wish I am like you, Carms…” I uttered as I glanced back at her. She was already wearing a summer dress as she sat next to me. “I envy you for being free. I sometimes hope, I lived a life that you have.”

“Why would you want that?” Her gaze softens and I saw another emotion in her eyes that I can’t name. She sighed as if she wants to remove a heavy feeling from her chest.

“I don’t know… Maybe, ever since our mom always cared for you.”

“I’m sorry if our mother is unfair, Sha,” she murmured, almost in a whisper. “She’s just…being protective.”

“I will always try to understand her, and I am not envious if she always notices you. I am grateful that she still allows me to do what I want. It just sometimes, she’s too much.”

“I will talk to her, Sha.” She ensured me as she both clasped my hands. It was warm against mine and gives me comfort. I am always thankful that my sister is with me. I can tell her my thoughts and she’s my safe zone.

A smile crept on my lips as I stared straight into her eyes. “Thank you.”

“Let me choose swimwear for you,” she spoke out as she went near her luggage. She claimed that we will stay here for three days that’s why she brings a lot of garments. She even readies mine. I just tolerate her as she wants to do it.

“Carms?”

“Hmm?” she hummed as she rummaged through her luggage.

“Do you still like Jake despite him being part of a gang?” I asked, I immediately saw how she stopped what she was doing and hurled a sigh.

“Yes.”

“How so?” I pursed my lips as she glanced at me.

“It doesn’t change the fact that he was the one who made me experience the things I never had from others. He was the only person who made me feel those emotions that I never felt from anyone.” She smiled at me. “Even though he doesn’t like me, I still do.”

"Does it hurt to not have your feelings reciprocated?”

“It sure is,” she muttered. “But it hurts more knowing that I cannot pursue him after everything I found out… He is linked to the tragedy that happened three years ago.”

“We’re still not sure about that…” I uttered but she shook her head as if she accepted it already.

“Remember, Sharmienne…” She darted at me. “You’re lucky as you already told Denver how you feel for him. It doesn’t matter if he will reciprocate it back. What’s important is your courage to do that. You let yourself be free from those feelings that might suffocate you along the way.”

“It might get hurt but trust me, it will be worth it,” she uttered. “You had the chance to tell your feelings to the person you love.”

“Soon, Denver will see how amazing you are, Sha.”

A sad smile crept on her lips as she said that, but it doesn’t reflect her eyes. She was obviously avoiding the topic of Jake Hart ever since I was married. Only Carmienne, Kian, and Denver’s friends know about my secret marriage with Denver. I am dubious of the fact that my feelings will be forfeited. It kinda terrifies me to think that after I confessed, it surely not be an easy journey being a wife. Especially since I like my husband already.

My feelings not being reciprocated are as clear as water. I realized that mixed signals are considered a ‘No’. It is just hard to accept that I am bound to someone who doesn’t like me back. I am afraid that along the way, Denver might get strangled with our relationship but cannot get out of our marriage.

I really want to work on our marriage, but I’m scared of our fate. I am scared that along the way, my effort will be in vain. That it will be worthless. But I will still try until I am at my limit. So, in the end, I won’t regret that I never tried to show Denver how much I like him.

“This red one-piece is perfect for you, Sha.” I heard Carmienne. She showed me that swimwear and I immediately gasped at how unveiling it is.

“It’s too revealing,” I said. “You know that I am not petite.”

“You already have a good body shape, Sharmienne.” She almost wants to roll her eyes. “You see your body? You already lost weight.”

“I am voluptuous,” I mumbled.

“You look good, Sha. Come on.”

She let me wear the one piece she saw in her luggage. I do not have a choice but to try the swimwear on me. It fits perfectly on me as I lost weight, but I am still full-figured despite my young age. I just wore a pair of denim shorts so they won’t be too revealing for me. I immediately saw the delighted look on Carmienne’s face as soon as I got out of the bathroom.

“Better. I’ll change too, then we’ll go check on Kian, hmm?” I nodded then she gets inside the bathroom.
I was about to sit back on the bed when I was interrupted by a knock thinking it was Kian. I strolled towards the door and as soon as I opened it, a familiar, gray-eyed man was standing in front of me with the inimical, heartless voice he had when he spoke in Italian.

"Ehi, mia cara moglie."