“You look okay with him.”
I was startled when I saw my sister walking in my direction. She took a sit on my bed, beside me. I was packing my clothes when she said that. I didn’t answer her, instead, I smiled. It’s obvious maybe, that’s why she said it that way. I will not confirm nor deny.
“Are you really sure about this, Sha?” She was really bothered about my sudden decision. I understand her though. But she needs to know that this is also for our company.
“Is it too sudden, Carms?” I asked. She looks at me with sympathy. “I know you are worried, but everything is coming out as an opportunity for us. To get our company back.”
“We can look for other ways, Sharmienne.”
I want to tell her my personal reasons but I feel she will be really guilty about it. So I will just keep it to myself. As long as no one will interfere with this opportunity we have, no one will ruin my plans for them.
“But it brought us to nothing.” I also reminded her. “It’s been three years since that tragedy happened...” I sighed as I suddenly felt my heart heavy.
Carmienne also wants to get our company back but she can’t as our relatives are mad at us. Our uncle Jurius, my father’s brother, claimed our company as his own after what happened to his son and daughter. He has another reason to why he did that. A very heavy one and it involved Carmienne.
“This is all my fault. If I just have a lead to who’s been the mastermind of that tragedy… this wouldn’t happen.” she heaved a sigh as her voice begin to stutter. She’s still affected by that ‘accident’ that happened three years ago.
“Don’t blame yourself, Carms.” I caressed her back until she calmed down.
“That accident took our cousins’ lives, Sha. They need justice, and we don’t have that yet.”
Three years ago, Carmienne and my cousins, Brian and Xyxie, told my parents that they will enroll themselves. It was still vacation and our cousins spend their time here. They were about to go home but got into an accident along the way. And only my sister survived while our cousins’ bodies were still missing until now. It was said in the investigation report that they got a faulty brake causing a collision with another car.
“I’m still blaming myself for that… If…” She sighed before she closed our distance and embrace me in a warm hug. “Take care of yourself. I will visit you after this semester.”
I nodded. “I will wait for you.”
“Always call me if you have time,” she reminds me. “I should really keep an eye on that Velasquez. I have a feeling he’s into something.”
“Denver is nice.”
“But still… I don’t trust him easily.”
“He’s my boyfriend now-” I looked away when she gasped and stood up from her seat. I didn’t even finish what I will say. I just continue packing my clothes inside my luggage as a smile suddenly crept on my lips.
“What?” I felt her stand up and walk back and forth, then she stopped in front of me. I look at her and shyly smiled. I felt my cheeks blushing.
“You like him, Sharmienne?”
“I don’t really know, Carms. I’m not yet sure.”
“Oh, God.”
“Please, don’t overreact.”
“Okay. I won’t. I’m just… shocked.” She sighed and stared at me. She looks serious with the intensity she’s giving that it feels like she can see my soul.
“Just a favor, Sha. Guard your heart against him.”
I don’t know how to respond. I was stuck on what she said. But she’s right. Denver can be very deceptive and pretentious. A very toxic combination.
“He’s notorious. An outrageous kind of guy. Someone you can never like. He can grip you into pieces if he wants to, especially if he didn't want to be in your marriage. Don’t trust him too much, because if you become too soft for him, he can ruin you in an instant.” She holds my hand softly before she caressed it. “Promise me, you won’t cry while being with him. Your feelings might grow especially since you will live together. Just protect yourself, Sharmienne.”
“I promise.”
A knock from my door interrupted us. I saw our dad smile at us as he took his way inside. I smiled as I saw him look at me.
“You didn’t inform me that you’ll be bond like this. I should come here earlier.”
Carmienne and I both chuckled before we went closer and hug him. He returned it with a kiss on our forehead. I always liked that gesture of him. It was one of the sweetest for me.
“I love you, my precious daughters.”
I smiled as I tighten my hug to him. I will miss him. His voice, his words, his waves of laughter. Everything from him.
“I love you, Dad.”
He chuckles and it sends a warm feeling to me. “Even though I don’t want your decisions, I still respect them.” He sighed as he let go of our embrace. “You don’t need to do this, Sharmienne. You will lose those things you still want in your life. You don’t need to sacrifice yourself for our family.”
“D-dad…”
“I know. I know. You’ve made a decision already. But remember that we’re already proud of you even if you don’t do this.”
“Thanks, dad.”
Everything I do is for you, everything. I smiled at them as it express how many words I want to tell them. But I just showed them a smile. A smile of assurance that I am fine. I can bear it. If it’s for my family then I will do my best.
As soon as I finished packing, we immediately went downstairs, and there, I saw Denver, casually sitting on the sofa while talking with my mother. They heard our step and it made them stand up. My eyes immediately darted at Denver whose eyes are also staring at me. I smiled at him as I was near.
“Let’s go,” I said in a low voice. I glanced at my dad and my sister before I hugged them once again. I felt the urge to cry in front of them but I keep reminding myself that I will look ugly with shredded tears, especially since Denver’s here. My eyes kept longer on my mother as she was the only one I need to hug. She pursed her lips as she wait for me to embrace her.
I slowly wrapped my arms around her waist, and I almost stilled when her arms softly caressed my arms before they went to my back. She caressed it gently that the tears I kept were already streaming down my face.
It feels nice… It feels so good to be hugged like this. I don’t know if it’s my first time hugging her since I had consciousness. All I know is that I will cherish this memory.
“I love you, mom…”
It was just a whisper, only for her. She stopped caressing my back as I felt her hug loosened up. I slowly move away from her with my bloodshot eyes. I timidly smiled at her, though in the back of my head, I was waiting for her to respond to me. But instead, her eyes kept their seriousness as she flashed me a tight smile.
“Make me proud, Sharmainne.”
My eyes widened, but I settled myself in that. It’s enough for me. I nodded at her before I bid ‘goodbye’ to everyone. I looked away and managed to glance at Denver who already carrying my things. I went out of our house first as Denver bid his farewell as well.
“Take care.”
Denver opened the car’s door for me. He put my luggage first inside before he went to the driver’s seat. He glances at me first before he maneuvered his car away from our house.
I was just silent the whole ride. Even with the music playing inside, my mind was clouded with thoughts. I can’t explain what I feel right now. I kept my eyes on the streets we are passing by. It looks calming but not enough to make me calm.
It was already nine-thirty in the evening when we arrived at Denver’s condo. I was about to help him carry my luggage but he didn’t let me. He went to the elevator first and he waited for me. I looked at him for a second before I avoided my gaze and just stood silently beside him.
I sighed to remove this tight feeling inside my chest. I felt rejected again. My vision becomes blurry because of tears. They started streaming down my cheeks again until it turns into a soft sob. I covered my face but I know, Denver was looking at my reflection. He might think I am weird that I am just crying all of the sudden.
The elevator tinged and I went out first. I waited for him until he opens his unit. I wiped my tears that it took me a minute outside before I heard Denver’s voice inside.
I saw my luggage near the door. I closed the door first before I went straight to the living room until Denver stopped in front of me. He was holding a glass of water and he gave it to me. I drink half of it before I smiled timidly at him.
“T-thanks.”
“Are you okay now?”
I nodded as I looked down. I don’t want him to see me vulnerable right now. I can’t determine what I’m feeling right now. I’m not that happy, and not that sad. Kind of disappointed as I expected too much. My mind is just tired as it absorbs a lot of what happened today. Maybe that’s it.
“Sharmainne,” he called with his soft voice.
I looked up to him. My vision becomes blurry again with tears. I bit my lips to stop myself from making any noise. I heard him sigh before I just felt him pull me closer to him and locked me into his arms.