When Dr Jamil told us about our child's genotype, he had pacified us by telling us that sickle cell wasn't a death sentence for our child. Some live and grow old if well taken care of.
The expression of the sickle cell symptoms varies from person to person, some show few life threatening symptoms while others are always in the hospital. He told us to not worry as the gene won't start expressing itself until the baby is around five months.
I didn't even know what to do, would crying change the fate of my child?
What about screaming or blaming myself and my husband for doing this to our child or should I pray to the Almighty the doer and undoer?
I knew the answer to my question, of course it was very obvious but I was ashamed. I only turned to Allah when I needed him, the only things I did were the obligatory prayers and fasting, nothing more. I thought of the times I rushed out of prayer or procrastinated a prayer for funny reasons like sightseeing in  Paris. Looking at Amar, I almost laughed. At least I prayed the obligatory ones.
Amar hated waking up for subh prayer, that was his greatest weakness, but it was never too late to turn to Allah and that was the birth of my steadfastness in religion.
We went back home, everybody drowned in their own thoughts.
Amar sighed repeatedly and then suddenly he spat
"Who does that doctor think he is? a small town doctor, he might even be a quack. In fact, I don't trust his judgement. We will go to a bigger hospital in Kaduna, Abuja or even abroad." By the time he finished his statement, he was fuming, looking at me expecting an affirmation or some kind of support
"What is your genotype? " I quietly asked him
"What?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"You believe his shit?" He asked, his voice rising several octaves higher.
"Amar, I am asking you a simple question. What is your genotype?"
"If it is AS and I'm sure I'm AS, then there is every possibility our child is SS. Please Amar, let's do each other a favour and do what's right there is no use in denying our destiny. Let's just pray and do our best for the baby." I replied to him already tired and frustrated. I hadn't expect him to pick a fight but that is exactly what he did.
"Oh, you mean I'm not making sense, or I don't know what I'm saying. Do you think you are the only parent of this child or do you think you love him more than I do?
Why on earth do you trust that doctor so much? You always go to him when there are better doctors out there, what the hell do you see in him?" He questioned, grabbing me from my sitting position violently. His hold was not that painful but I wanted to cry and slap him at the same time however, I remembered that I should think of my Baby. He is only acting this way because he is worried about that thought so I resorted to pacifying him.
"Amar, calm down. I know you are worried and I understand you but that's not what our baby needs right now."
"I know what our baby needs." He replied cutting me off, pushing me away.
"Pack your bags immediately after your exams. Next week, we are going to Canada, you will give birth there until they assure us of our baby's well being, we won't come back." with that, he stormed off leaving no room for argument.
I didn't want to travel, but arguing with Amar was just trouble and his intentions were good so I agreed and a week later, we were on our flight to canada. We didn't even go back home, we just called our parents and told them of course leaving out the reason for our sudden departure.
Six weeks later, I had given birth with no complications.
Amar was by my side throughout the whole process. I still remember the look on his face when he saw the baby, his happiness was palpable. His hand trembling, he took the baby and hugged her to his chest. The baby was a girl, not a boy as Dr Jamil said, a fact Amar had gladly pointed out.
I didn't care, my child was my child, boy or girl was not a problem.
I noticed Amar wasn't calling the Azaan in the baby's ear so I nudged him and whispered to him
" The Azaan." I whispered.
"Azaan? It's not time yet." He replied, his attention on the child in his arms.
I almost face palmed before explaining to him.
"It's sunnah to call the Azaan in a newly born infant's ear, there are also some supplications but I don't know them.
"Oh okay." He replied as he brought his mouth to the child's ear. Minutes later, the doctor in charge knocked and once we gave him permission, he walked in with a nurse behind him.
"Mr and Mrs Imam, congratulations once again. Please, you will have to hand over the baby for us to conduct the necessary tests, though of course the Baby looks so healthy." The doctor Informed as he motione
"Doctor, those tests you are talking about, please can you include genotype, we just want to make sure of something." Amar requested.
The doctor looked from me to him, skepticism in his eyes before he nodded smiling a bit, then took his leave. Amar glanced at me, fear and hope in my eyes. Hope that just how the gender was wrong, may the genotype also be wrong.
An hour later, after another doctor had conducted various tests on me, the previous doctor came into the room with a nurse behind him and the baby with her.
"Mr and Mrs Imam, your Baby is doing well, all her organs are functioning well, but there's a small problem. I checked the genotype as you requested and your baby is a sickle cell patient."
The doctor paused a bit as he heard the sharp intake of breath, I had been grasping onto straws. Truly my lovely girl is a sickle cell, before I knew it, tears started running down my cheeks ungracefully while Amar moved closer to the doctor and asked him again.
"Are you sure doctor?"
"I'm a hundred percent sure, you need to calm down ma'am, people live a long life with this disorder, with good treatment And care..
" Doctor is there no way to treat it?" Amar interrupted him.
The doctor looked at Amar, I remember he looked both irritated and sympathetic.
"The only treatment that can totally eradicate this disorder is bone marrow or stem cell transplant, but Mr Imaam, your baby has 99% chance of dying during surgery, which is equivalent to murdering your child because the chances of survival of a child with sickle cell is more than 60%, I'll advice you to take care of your baby. There will be occurrence of symptoms like
Bone pain
Acute chest syndrome
Acute and chronic pain
Stroke
Anemia
Infection, Growth retardation and so many more. However, this should not discourage you, you can handle the symptoms individually and take preventive measures, take very good care of your child. Do not expose her to harsh weather, I suggest exclusive breast feeding. Make sure she is always hydrated, never skip her prescribed drugs, they will help with the anemia and other symptoms.
Shower her with love and care and you will increase her chances of survival. It will provide her the psychological strength to fight.
Your child is strong and there's a high chance she can endure it." The doctor finished his speech, tapped Amar's shoulder reassuringly then nodded at the nurse to hand the baby to me.
When I took her in my arms for the second time and I felt her cuddle against me, her small head a little big for the crook for my arm which had my open palm on it, her soft body molding perfectly in my arms, I looked at Amar and said to him.
"Amar, we won't have the surgery, our Baby is strong, she can handle it and we, we will stand by her side through everything, right?"