That was at least a sound reasoning. Mother lowered her face to the floor and sighed. Iremma stood up, drew closer to Mother, but could not say anything to her. Both of them remained silent for a time. It was clear that she was thinking about us. I walked close to Mother, knelt down beside her and tried to wipe her tears.
“These children and the farm always come to my mind. Whenever, I remember your condition, I realize that you are too young to take them alone. But take heart.”
Mother wept visibly now and Iremma stopped speaking further.
“You have seen reasons why I don’t frequent here for some time now. It would make you cry and I don’t like you in tears. You have cried enough and everyone knows how painful the loss is to you. You are still a young girl and what you are into now is very painful. Nne, please hold yourself and be strong. See how bad you look despite your beauty and age. Your flesh has eaten so deep and your body has changed terribly.”
I, too, started crying, pleading with Mother to wipe away her tears. That is the way of little children. They don’t like their mother’s in tears and I was no exception. It was at this point that my grandfather walked into our compound, in his usual slow manner. I looked at him and looked steadily at Mother’s eyes.
“I am sorry mama,” I told her.
Grandfather saw that she was crying and hastened his step.
“You are crying again, Nkem. My daughter, I hope you did not cause these tears,” he asked Iremma.
“I did not, Nna anyi. I only came to see how she is doing and she began to cry again,” Iremma explained.
“I have tried stopping the tears, but it would not stop.” Mother said tearfully.
“Well, we all know how attached you were with my son, Obidike. He was your husband and my only son. But at death, every attachment we have for someone vanishes. Anything we hold so dear that we lost can come back again after a thorough search. But when death steals anyone we love, we cannot see them again. You have to be the best comforter to yourself. Try hard and stop the tears. If tears could raise him up, he would have woken up since.”
Iremma stood up and walked out slowly from our compound without saying a good-bye. We understood. If she had said goodbye, it would have caused Mother fresh tears again. Mother had lured her into crying and she nearly dropped these tears before she left us. Women and tears!
“If you continue this way, I fear when it will end. I shall soon join my fathers and it is a time for sober reflection. That is the consciousness of the living, we shall all die. If you do love me, you should not have allowed these tears to flow again.”
“Nna anyi I am only trying to be strong. So many things dulls my thinking. Look at the farm, the palm nuts, our thatched roof and the large compound that I would have to take care of alone. Am I not too young?”
Grandfather sat down and did not say anything. She was right. As for me, I walked slowly to the door that led to the barn and watched Mother easing out tears. The scene was so pathetic that I could not entirely tear myself away from looking at her. I could not continue my play with Uzor, the shy one among my brothers; he’d gone to our grandfather and settled in his lap.
“It has been four market days now since your husband was buried and you have wept unceasingly, especially when people visit. You have greeted my morning in tears again today. When will it end?”
“I, too, would have preferred to die as he did .The children are too young for me to handle alone.” Mother tearfully said.
“You are right. I am old and in no position to right the situation .We shall carry the burden. A man’s life from birth to death is a series of transition rites and they are good to be dragged along with soft heart.”
Grandfather stood up slowly and bade us a fond good bye. Mother broke into more tears. Tears would never stop until it ran to a measure it had wanted. I was disturbed and never wanted her to see her crying again. I never wanted her to suffer more heartbreak on account of the problems. I walked slowly to her and put my arms around her and said ndo, the native way to say sorry. I was her comfort that day.