[Clayrin Aisfine Ezz]
Christmas is twenty-two days away.
It should feel warm—joyful—but this year, that familiar happiness never arrived. It’s as if the season has passed me by, and I’m the only one left waiting.
It’s also been days since I last saw Jow enter the Supernatural Club room.
My heart… it aches in ways I can’t put into words. It longs for something—someone. It longs for him. To be near him again, to share space, time, silence… laughter—anything. Just us. No eyes watching, no voices interrupting. Just the quiet closeness of being beside Jow.
But with each passing day, the distance between us grows. And it hurts more than I thought it could.
I can’t pretend anymore.
I can’t wear this mask of happiness—not when every part of me is unraveling. My face betrays me now. Even when I try to smile, sorrow leaks out from the corners of my eyes.
> Why...? Jow is right there, yet I can’t reach him.<
A gentle slap brushed my cheek.
I blinked. Reality rushed back in.
Jovenyl.
She gave me a light tap, just enough to shake me awake from my wandering thoughts.
Right. We were in our classroom—studying for an upcoming quiz. I had forgotten.
“You’re spacing out again,” Jovenyl said softly, her tone gentle, her eyes full of concern. Her lips curled into a small, worried smile.
“Sorry… where were we?” I asked, my voice trailing. Even Yvette, who had been quietly flipping through notes beside us, furrowed her brows and mirrored Jovenyl’s expression.
“Clay.”
“Rin.”
They called my name at the same time.
“What?” I looked between them, confused.
My vision blurred without warning.
I touched my eyes—and felt the wetness. My tears had slipped out without me even realizing.
> Why am I crying... again?<
Streams ran freely down my cheeks.
Jovenyl reached into her pocket and handed me her handkerchief, wiping my face with care.
“What happened?” she asked, her voice shaking slightly. She bit her bottom lip, anxious.
“Rin… is Ruffa bothering you again?” she added sharply. “Do you want me to pull her hair out?”
I didn’t answer.
I could only look at them, helpless.
“Ate Jovenyl…” I whispered.
“What is it?”
“I… I can’t stop thinking about Jow.”
Yvette gasped. “What?” She pushed Jovenyl aside and grabbed both my shoulders. “Rin… you’re—?”
> Yeah. This is it, isn’t it? Kuya Cruzecrin… I guess I was wrong. I’m not aromantic after all.<
“I want to see him. I want to be with him. I want to talk to him… I want to stay by his side. I want him to see me as someone he can’t live without.”
> Why am I saying this out loud? I can’t stop my mouth—this is humiliating…!<
Jovenyl didn’t respond immediately.
Yvette looked toward her, unsure how to react.
They both knew—especially Yvette—that Jow and Jovenyl had once been together.
“Clay,” Jovenyl finally said, voice steady, “your heart’s finally opened up, huh?”
She gently placed her hand on my head.
“Is there anything I can do?”
I shook off Yvette’s hands from my shoulders and fell into Jovenyl’s arms, sobbing harder.
“I want him to come back to the Supernatural Club...”
“Then we’ll do it,” Jovenyl said, holding me tighter. “For the love of my favorite cousin—I’ll make sure you’re happy in the end.”
“Hold on,” Yvette interrupted, crossing her arms. “That’s your ex-boyfriend we’re talking about. If things didn’t work out between you two, how can you be sure Clay won’t end up the same?”
“My relationship with Jow…” Jovenyl’s voice softened. “It was complicated. We didn’t love each other the way people are meant to love. There was no warmth—no true connection. Just mutual loneliness and a tangle of matching ideals. I cried for the pain I caused, knowing I could never love him fully.”
She glanced down at me with a faint, sad smile.
“But what Clay feels… it’s different. It’s real. That’s why, as a cousin—and as someone who wants her happiness—I want Clay’s first love to be the one that lasts.”
Her words melted some of the heaviness inside me. I felt a little lighter. A little more grounded.
Our classmates had begun to notice me crying. They came over, asking what was wrong, concern written across their faces.
Some assumed Ruffa had hurt me again, but I quickly denied it. Ruffa had stayed quiet since the incident with Jow and Lumiel. She wasn’t involved.
I was lucky to have Jovenyl and Yvette—they shielded me with excuses, kept the attention away until I could breathe again.
---
The final period of our morning class ended.
It was only review, a warm-up for our quiz later in the afternoon.
The three of us decided to visit Jow’s classroom.
Yvette and Jovenyl insisted on coming along—to support me.
But when we got there, it was Nova who greeted us.
And the news hit me like a stone.
Jow hadn’t been attending classes. He’d informed the teachers he was experiencing chest pain, and his doctor had advised him to rest.
No one knew when he’d be back.
He wouldn’t be dropped from the university, though. His family had power here—his aunt was the college dean, and his uncle was the chancellor. Both siblings of his father. That name—Hayle—was untouchable, even though Jow was still in senior high school.
Still… I just wanted to talk to him.
To convince him to return to the club.
To come back to campus.
But with him gone, there was nothing more I could do.
---
Saturday came.
I decided to head out early and buy my favorite sweetened dried anchovies from the local market.
It was 7:00 a.m. when I checked the time and tucked my phone into my shoulder bag.
I took a deep breath before stepping into the market.
Wow.
Even this early, the place was packed.
The air was cold, the floor still slick with dew. The noise of vendors shouting prices blended with the sharp tang of raw meat, fish, and sweat.
I made my way to the meat section—that’s where they sold the dried sweet anchovies I craved.
There wasn’t much of a line, so I bought a pack quickly.
With a contented smile, I carried the bag to a bench behind the market, peeled the plastic open, and let the sweet, salty aroma hit my face.
I sat down and began eating with quiet joy, not caring about the strangers on nearby benches.
For five whole minutes, I savored the anchovies.
When I finished, I licked the cheese dust from my fingers and wiped them clean before pulling out my phone again.
I wanted to check if Jow had unblocked me on Facebook.
But no. Still blocked.
The ache in my chest twisted.
> Jow…<
I shook my head, trying to fight off the sting behind my eyes.
Then something—someone—caught my attention.
I turned my head.
My phone slipped from my fingers and clattered to the ground.
My mouth fell open. My eyes widened.
Jow.
He was walking toward a girl—one who looked like she had been waiting for him there.
My heart skipped, then dropped like a stone.
I rubbed my eyes, thinking I was imagining things.
But no. It was him.
Jow wrapped his arms around the girl. No emotion. No hesitation. And she smiled—then hugged him back.
> What… no. What the hell is this?<
I clutched my chest, teeth digging into my lower lip.
> Damn it… Am I the losing heroine now?<
Tears spilled before I could stop them.
Jow… was meeting another girl.
And under his eyes—those dark, heavy bags—told me he hadn’t been sleeping.
The two of them sat together on the bench where the girl had waited.
I stood up.
Walked away.
Back into the crowded market.
I kept wiping my tears over and over, but they wouldn’t stop.
To be continued.