I woke up in a foreign room.
As I felt tremendous pain in Arnold's arms, I lost my consciousness. If they didn’t bring me back to my fortress to avoid rumors, it could be concluded that I am in a vacant chamber in Arnold’s manor.
Though, I still don’t know why such discomfort occurred.
The reason wasn’t apparent. The stimulation of the force absorbing mine and its reason could not be explained just through the sudden stimulant. If it was because I was giving Arnold my blessing, then the same thing could have happened after I blessed Callisto. However, nothing happened that time.
There must be some different facet that caused it.
Come to think of it.
Arnold was so different from his past self. Not only did he not ignore me but he also was calling me over to his office like it became his habit. And he always tries his best to not get me involved with Baron Cohen. What happened earlier was just a coincidence made by Kevin.
Is Arnold being different from before had something to do with it? Will I suffer the same pain again if I encounter someone different from their past selves? Is this the butterfly effect of me trying to change the past?
Or is it that Arnold wasn’t the Arnold I knew from the past? Is soul switching even true?
If that’s the case, then the blessing I gave to Arnold’s soul was declined to cause such pain as the aftermath.
I sighed.
I looked out the window and the sky was about to set. I could smell a medicinal herb in the room. The same bed had that idiot’s alluring smell.
I got up when I realized something.
Everything in this room had a tinge of red color.
Even the chandelier was red.
I could see the obsession here.
Even if I don’t really hate red colors, it still reminded me of the blood scattered around the whole estate from my past life. If possible, I wouldn’t want to take a glimpse of it.
But Arnold was really different. It looked like he was smitten.
If I am seen by someone while I am dozing off, they might even think that this room belongs to me as its color is the same as my eyes. Half of my hair was also red.
Ever since I traveled back in time, my hair changed its color, and it is still gradually changing its color.
I moved my hands. I felt weak.
“So, he guessed it right. You are already awake.”
I looked at the man who had just entered the room. It was Sir Asmodeus.
“This room was full of red colors, wasn’t it?” he asked.
I nodded my head, not planning to prolong our conversation.
“Of course, this is Sir Arnold’s room. His obsession with red colors is getting worse. Do you know why?”
“It’s out of my concern, Sir Asmodeus.” I immediately got up from the bed.
No wonder why it has Arnold’s smell. This is Arnold’s room!
As soon as I got up, I felt like my head was going to explode after I got up. I could see the world moving around. What the hell?
I touched my forehead.
“You have a fever, milady. You should take a rest first.”
“No.”
Tyrell furrowed his brows. “Just keep your pride aside even just today and listen to me.” He sighed. “The hunting competition will abruptly start next week. If you force yourself now, your fever might get worse. You have to get your health checked by the royal physician before you enter the tournament. If they see you are not well, they could pull out your right to be a player.”
“Sir Asmodeus," I said with my raspy voice. He looked at me. “I know you don’t really care about the hunting competition nor me and my health, so please stay the way you were doing from the very start. Tell the little duke that I’d rest on my fortress and please do send my regards. I’d take my leave.”
With my weak body, I walked out of the room.
Sir Asmodeus then whispered but was loud enough for me to hear with my keen ears. “I always felt it but now I really could see your walls, Lady Haleya.” He sighed again. “It’s not that I don't care. I do care. I really do but now is not the time yet.”
Because I felt a great pain in my back down to my knees, I did not mind what he said.
I really had walls. I built these walls. I have been betrayed and was killed by the person that I trusted the most. Who in their right mind would trust a person again the way they gullibly believed a liar from their past.
Who in their right mind would risk their heart again for someone who could break them anytime they’d like?
All of us wore a wall. The thing that made me different was that mine was visible.
I would never embrace a man that has thorns again.
I would never let them break me apart to the point that I would need someone who could save me.
I would never trust a liar.
I am better off alone. By that means, no one would ever hurt me the way I was hurt in my past life.
No one could ever betray me.
Nobody has the right to break what I fixed.
No one deserves me.
I forced my weak body to move. Though it was hard to stride further, it still was bearable.
For a person who already died and experienced the worst of life, walking with a fever was just a cakewalk. I’ve been through a lot and something like this wouldn’t shake me.
After walking for a long time, I arrived at my fortress. There’s no one in the house, not even a single soul.
I fired them.
I don’t need someone who couldn’t even hide their disdain. I don’t need someone who would plan to kill me while I am asleep.
I lay on my bed and checked my temperature.
After a few minutes, I felt drowsy.
I forced myself to stay awake but my eyes couldn’t take it anymore.
Gradually, I fell asleep.
Darkness. All I saw was darkness.
I am once again trapped in one of my nightmares.
I saw myself shouting and begging Jaeda to choose me.
I was on my knees crying for his love that I thought I once had and just lost.
How could I not know that I never had it? How could I believe such empty promises?
I saw Empress Dowager who was looking at me pitifully, however, I knew she was triumphantly laughing with her deteriorated soul.
If only… if only I could burn her soul.
If only I was strong enough to kill her and Jaeda. If only I had the power to kill them. If… if only I was strong enough.
After begging, they locked me up in the dark room.
I hugged myself in fear.
The dark room had shadows. They… are crying, asking for help.
Just like me, they were suffering.
I saw their story in my sleep. Some were abused. Some were bullied. Some have already forgotten how to live.
I could feel their pain.
I could feel it all as if I owned their pain.
Just when I was about to get drowned by monstrous emotions, the sunlight… I saw the sunlight.
I saw a girl, extending her hands. I saw her. She was smiling at me. She was calling me by my name with such a tender voice. She was…
She was everything to me.
I groaned as the girl’s face played on my mind. By the way, I saw her after I was executed. Her gleaming smile was the thing that saved me.
Amber… How could I forget?
Hah…
That’s right.
I go back in time.
I felt warm for the first time in her embrace.
But she died.
She…
I… killed her.
I wasn’t able to save her.
I'm dumb!
So what was the reason why I am still alive?
What's the point of staying alive when the only person I have left is me?
She left me.
Am I abandoned again?
Did she…?
“Haleya…”
I turned around. The endless darkness surrounds me. I couldn’t find the voice.
“I’m sorry if I couldn’t save you back then….”
That voice! Why does it sound so familiar?
“You’ve suffered a lot because I was a coward. I was too late when I arrived.”
I run around in the unending darkness, trying to find the owner of the voice.
“I’ll save you in this life for sure. No matter how many times I have to turn back time, I’ll do it if, in that way, I could be with you for a long time.”
I groaned when I wasn’t able to find the owner of the voice.
Hearing his voice in pain brought me pain.
“Don’t leave me here, please!” I shouted.
I felt a slight touch on my skin.
The darkness faded.
As I felt someone caress my cheeks, I calmed down.
Who is this person?
“I would never leave you again, Haleya.”