"Viv, did you see my panties? I left them hanging—Oh my god!"
My eyes snapped open at the same time my bedroom door swung wide.
Rain stood frozen in the doorway, her mouth open in shock as her gaze darted between me and Lucas. And me—oh god, I was still in his arms. His warmth still surrounded me, his steady breathing a quiet reminder of last night.
For a second, I didn’t move. Couldn’t.
Then my brain finally caught up, and mortification slammed into me.
Rain was covering her eyes, but—yeah, she was definitely peeking through her fingers. And she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at him. Or more specifically, at his bare chest, the one I had been lying against all night.
Heat crawled up my neck, my skin burning with the realization of how this must look.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Can you please fucking knock?" I snapped, grabbing the nearest pillow and hurling it at her.
Rain dodged effortlessly, crossing her arms with a smirk. "Oh, so knocking is a thing in this house now?"
I wanted to scream.
Because she wasn’t wrong.
We never knocked. Not when it was just the two of us. But now—now everything was different. Lucas was here. Lucas, whose scent was still clinging to my sheets, whose voice was still thick with sleep, whose arms had been wrapped around me just moments ago, like he belonged there.
I turned my head to look at him, half-expecting him to be as flustered as I was. But, of course, he wasn’t.
Lucas barely reacted, his only movement a slow drag of his hand through his hair. The slight furrow of his brows was the only indication that he’d even registered what just happened.
I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. "Sorry about that. Did she wake you up?"
Lucas blinked at me, his voice still rough from sleep. "No, it’s fine."
Fine.
He looked fine. Completely unaffected.
Meanwhile, I was spiraling.
Because I had woken up beside him.
Because my body still remembered the way he had held me last night.
Because this—this—felt so natural that it terrified me.
I had never slept this peacefully before. Not in my own bed. Not in anyone else’s. Not ever.
I never thought I could sleep through the night without waking up in a cold sweat, mind racing with thoughts of everything I still had to do, everything I still had to prove.
But with Lucas…
With Lucas, my mind had been quiet.
With Lucas, my body had rested.
And maybe that was what scared me the most.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked, his eyes locked onto mine.
I nodded, a small, automatic smile tugging at my lips. But inside, something twisted painfully.
Because yes.
Yes, I had slept well. Too well.
And I didn’t know what to do with that.
My gaze flickered over him—his messy hair, his sleep-heavy eyes, the faint redness on his neck.
I swallowed hard. God.
I remembered how that mark had gotten there.
Heat rushed to my cheeks. I looked away.
"Let’s have breakfast," I said quickly, desperate for an escape, for anything to distract me from the mess inside my head. I was about to move, but before I could, his arm tightened around my waist.
I sucked in a breath.
Lucas buried his face against my shoulder, his voice a murmur against my skin.
"Five more minutes."
I froze.
His breath was warm, his grip firm but lazy, like he was still somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. Like he didn’t want to wake up.
Like he didn’t want to let me go.
I could feel the weight of him against me, feel the way his breathing slowed, like he was trying to savor this.
And the worst part?
So was I.
Stop it, Vivienne.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Not the way my heart ached in the best, worst way possible. Not the way I wanted to stay exactly like this, tangled up in him, like nothing else in the world existed.
Tsk. Rain’s fault.
Except it wasn’t. Not really.
Last night had drained me. The only thing I had wanted was him. His presence. His comfort. His touch. And maybe—maybe that should’ve been my first red flag.
"Vivienne?"
His voice was softer now.
"Hmm?"
"I want us to stay like this forever."
My heart stopped.
For a moment, the world tilted on its axis.
Forever.
The word tasted like something dangerous. Like something I had once let myself believe in, only to have it ripped away.
It was impossible.
Life kept moving forward. Responsibilities existed. Reality was right there, waiting just outside my bedroom door.
"Not possible," I said, forcing out a laugh. "We have duty later."
But Lucas didn’t laugh.
The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating.
And then—
"Let’s get married."
My stomach dropped.
I turned to him, but he was already looking at me. Serious. Unwavering.
This wasn’t a joke. This wasn’t a casual ‘what if.’
This was real.
His voice was steady. Sure. "I’m not rushing you, Vivienne. You know how willing I am to wait," he said, his thumb grazing my wrist like he could feel how fast my pulse was racing. "I know your dreams are important to you. But damn…" He let out a breathless chuckle, shaking his head. "I just want to be with you every day. I want to build a life with you. A family. I want you to be mine while you chase your dreams freely."
Something inside me cracked.
Pressure.
A weight settling over my chest so heavy I could barely breathe.
He was certain.
And I envied him for that.
Because if he asked me for an answer right now—
I wouldn’t know what to say.
I love him. I do.
But marriage?
I had imagined it before. Only in passing, only in fleeting daydreams that I never dared to hold on to.
But never today. Never like this.
I wanted to say yes.
So why was I scared?
I took a slow, shaky breath.
"I’m making breakfast," I said instead.
Lucas stilled.
And for the first time, his expression changed.
His shoulders dropped slightly, a flicker of something in his eyes before he nodded.
I got up first. He followed, buttoning up his shirt.
"Good morning, Doc," Rain greeted cheerfully, completely oblivious.
"Morning," he replied, his voice unreadable.
I barely heard their conversation.
I barely tasted my food.
And when Lucas finally left—
I exhaled.
I should be happy.
I should be ecstatic.
So why do I feel like I’m falling apart?
I lay back down, inhaling the lingering traces of his scent on my sheets.
Tears slipped down my cheeks before I could stop them.
Don’t you love him?
Then why are you so scared?
When I stepped outside later, Lucas was already waiting by his car.
His head was bowed, deep in thought. He didn’t look like a doctor.
He looked like a man who had just put his heart on the line.
And when he finally saw me, I smiled and kissed his cheek.
He let me.
But he didn’t say anything.
And for the first time, the silence between us felt unbearable.
When I stepped outside later, Lucas was already waiting by his car.
He stood there, leaning against the driver’s side, one hand in his pocket while the other lazily twirled his car keys. From a distance, he looked the same as always—composed, effortlessly put-together, like nothing could faze him.
But I knew better.
His head was bowed slightly, his shoulders tense in a way they usually weren’t. His jaw was tight, lips pressed into a firm line.
He didn’t look like a doctor right now.
He looked like a man who had just put his heart on the line.
And I was the one who had left it hanging there.
I swallowed hard, my stomach twisting uncomfortably.
How long had he been waiting?
Had he been standing there this whole time, thinking about my silence? Wondering if I would say something, anything about what he had asked me earlier?
Did he already know that I had spent the last hour lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying his words over and over until my chest ached from the weight of them?
"Let’s get married."
I had thought about it.
I had tried to picture it—what it would be like to stand beside him in a white dress, to wake up to him every morning, to build a life with him beyond fleeting moments like these.
And it wasn’t that I didn’t want it.
I did.
But the fear was still there, lodged deep inside me, refusing to loosen its grip.
I didn’t know how to explain it to him. I didn’t know if I even could.
The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.
But wasn’t that what I was already doing?
My heart clenched painfully as I took a slow breath, steadying myself.
Then, before I could think twice, I moved.
Lucas looked up the moment I approached.
His gaze found mine instantly, and for a second, something flickered across his face—something unreadable.
Something guarded.
I hated it.
I didn’t want him to be guarded with me.
Not him.
Not us.
So I did the only thing I could think of.
I smiled.
Softly, as if nothing had changed. As if everything was still the same between us.
Then I stood on my toes, brushing a light kiss against his cheek.
Lucas didn’t move.
Didn’t react.
He let me do it.
But he didn’t say anything.
And for the first time in a long, long time—
The silence between us felt unbearable.
I pulled away, hesitating for a fraction of a second. Waiting.
For what, I didn’t know.
For him to say something?
For him to ask again?
For me to gather the courage to finally give him an answer?
But he didn’t ask.
And I still couldn’t speak.
Instead, Lucas exhaled quietly, pocketed his keys, and turned toward the car.
"Let’s go," he said, voice even. Controlled.
It should’ve comforted me.
But instead, it only made my chest ache even more.
I slid into the passenger seat, gripping my bag a little too tightly.
Lucas started the engine.
Neither of us said a word.
Outside, the world carried on as usual. People walked past, cars honked, life continued.
But inside this car, between us—
Something had changed.
And I was terrified of what it meant.