I stood in the entryway to the house with a bag clutched in my fist, my eyes shut and my body shaking. I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, but a sudden bang made me jump out of my skin and I spun around, expecting to see… well, I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it sure wasn’t him.
Zachary was standing at the end of the walkway, his chest heaving and his eyes wide.
“Caitlin.” He stumbled up the steps and reached for me, but I jumped back before he could touch me.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I hissed. I couldn’t let him touch me. I would fall apart if I did.
“I had to find you. Please, Cait. I just need a few minutes to explain.”
“Explain what? Explain how you could spend the past four months getting to know me and never once think to mention that you’re Thomas’s father? I know the answer already, Zach. It was the necklace, right? I didn’t remember you, so you figured it was time to get rid of the last link to that night. I can’t believe I trusted you.” My eyes burned, but I wasn’t going to let him see me cry. I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.
“Please, just listen to me.” His eyes were so blue in the dim light of the porch, but I refused to let myself be taken in by them. “You don’t have the full story.”
“Why did you bring it to me then?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think I was trying to steal it from you. It belonged to your grandmother, and you should have it.”
“Then why did you keep it for four years?”
His jaw tightened. “Because I couldn’t find you.”
“You didn’t even know who I was. How were you supposed to find me?”
“I went to your parents’ house the next day and tried to find you, but your father refused to even talk to me.”
I froze. “My father?” I shook my head. “How do you even know my father? Did you track me down after all?”
“I tried, but no. Your father is a close friend of my grandfather’s. He came over for dinner that weekend, and I asked him about you, but he told me never to contact you again.”
“Wait, you met my father that night? When you were…” I trailed off, my mind whirring.
“You were so out of it. I was worried you would hurt yourself. I had to call someone, but you wouldn’t tell me anything about yourself. You wouldn’t even tell me your last name. I finally got your purse away from you and looked at your license. It had your address on it. That’s how I found your house.”
“And my father.” My mind was spinning. There were too many coincidences, too much that didn’t make sense.
“He refused to even tell me your first name. He just said you were better off without me in your life and told me to forget about you.”
“He did what?” My father knew about Zachary? And he knew about me? Was that why he hadn’t spoken to me since that night?
“Please, Caitlin.” His eyes pleaded with me. “Just give me five minutes to explain everything.”
I took a deep breath. I wanted to tell him to go. I wanted to throw the necklace at his face and slam the door. But I needed to know what really happened, and if there was even a chance that he hadn’t betrayed me on purpose, I owed it to myself, and to Thomas, to let him explain.
I opened the door and stepped back, and he hurried in after me. I led him into the living room, my hands still shaking. I set down the bag and sat on the edge of the sofa, leaving him to pace in front of me, running his hands through his hair. He finally stopped and stood with his arms crossed, staring at the floor.
“I’m so sorry, Caitlin. For everything. I should have told you from the beginning that I was Thomas’s father. I knew it from the moment I saw him.”
“Because of the necklace? Because he has your eyes?”
He nodded. “I never forgot about that night. How could I? You haunted my dreams for four years.”
I flinched at the thought that I could have been just another one of his conquests. One he couldn’t forget, but still just a woman he’d spent the night with. A woman who didn’t even remember him. A woman who had his child and didn’t even know it was his.
“You have to understand, I’ve regretted the way I left that house every day since then. You were so vulnerable. You needed me, and I abandoned you. I swore I would spend my life making it up to you if I ever had the chance.”
I stood and paced across the room, trying to get away from his words. He’d regretted it? He’d abandoned me? Did he know? Had he somehow found out that I was pregnant and that was why he felt guilty?
“No.” I spun around to face him. “You didn’t know about Thomas. You couldn’t have. Don’t try to pretend you did.”
He stepped towards me, and I backed up until I hit the wall. He put his hands on either side of my head, trapping me there.
“I didn’t know. I swear it.”
“Why should I believe you? You’ve lied to me from the first moment we met.”
“Because I’m telling the truth. I didn’t lie to you, Cait. Not once. I didn’t tell you about that night because I was afraid. I thought if I told you the truth, you would never want to see me again, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that."
"I thought we could build something new. I didn’t plan on sleeping with you that night, but once it happened, I was terrified that you would hate me. But we’re so good together, Cait. We’re meant to be together.”