Conrad woke up to loud, persistent knocking on his bedroom door.
“Wake up, Montague!” Eurydice’s too-cheerful voice rang out. “We have places to be!”
Conrad groaned, debating whether he should just pretend to be dead.
Unfortunately, Eurydice did not believe in patience.
A second later, the door swung open, and she marched inside like she owned the place.
Conrad, still in bed, gave her a flat stare. “Do you have a death wish?”
Eurydice grinned, arms crossed. “Nope. But you do have a to-do list today.”
Conrad sat up, rubbing his temples. “Explain.”
Eurydice clapped her hands together. “Okay, so here’s the thing—our fake relationship? It needs props.”
Conrad blinked. “Props.”
“Yes.” She grabbed his phone off the nightstand and waved it dramatically. “The media loved our date yesterday, but if we really want to bury the Vincent rumors, we need to look even more disgustingly in love.”
Conrad sighed deeply. “Why do I feel like I’m not going to like this?”
Eurydice ignored him. “So! We’re going to the mall.”
Conrad stared. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” She grinned mischievously. “We’re going to buy cute, couple-y things that real engaged people would have. Matching mugs. Pajamas. Maybe a stuffed animal or two—”
Conrad pinched the bridge of his nose. “We already share a bed. Why would we need matching pajamas?”
Eurydice gasped dramatically. “Oh my God, you admit we share a bed? How scandalous!”
Conrad exhaled sharply. “That’s not what I—”
Eurydice cut him off. “Nope. No backing out now. The world needs to see that we are the cutest, most sickeningly in love couple of all time.”
Conrad gave her a long, tired look. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“Oh, absolutely.”
Before Conrad could escape, Eurydice grabbed his wrist and dragged him toward the door.
“Come on, fiancé. We have shopping to do.”
 
Eurydice practically skipped into the high-end shopping mall, looking way too pleased with herself.
Conrad, walking beside her, looked like he wanted to die.
“I hate this already,” he muttered.
Eurydice patted his arm. “Awww, babe, don’t be shy.” She loudly intertwined their arms. “Let’s show the world how in love we are.”
Conrad exhaled slowly, looking at the too-many cameras already watching them.
This was his own personal hell.
 
The first store Eurydice dragged him into had a whole section dedicated to couples’ pajamas.
Eurydice gasped dramatically, holding up a set.
“LOOK AT THIS.”
Conrad glanced at it. It was hideous.
It was a bright red pajama set with cartoon hearts all over it, and across the chest, in massive letters, it read:
“I’M TAKEN.”
Eurydice, grinning like a menace, turned it around.
The back read:
"BY HER."
She burst into laughter. “Oh my God, Montague, we need this.”
Conrad stared at it like it personally offended him. “No.”
Eurydice held it up against him. “Come on, imagine the photos! We already share a bed, so this is just logical progression.”
Conrad sighed. “I regret every decision that led me here.”
Eurydice beamed. “That means it’s working.”
In the end, she won—because of course she did.
Conrad left the store carrying a bag with the most ridiculous pajamas in existence.
 
Their next stop was a home goods store, where Eurydice insisted they needed matching mugs.
“Ohhh, look at this one!” She grabbed a set that read:
His: “THE BOSS.”
Hers: “THE REAL BOSS.”
She grinned. “Accurate, right?”
Conrad raised an eyebrow. “That is not accurate.”
Eurydice giggled. “Awww, you’re so cute when you’re in denial.”
Conrad took exactly two seconds to weigh his options.
Then, he grabbed a different set.
His: “Professional Overthinker.”
Hers: “Chaos Gremlin.”
Eurydice gasped. “How dare you.”
Conrad smirked, holding up the mugs. “Much more accurate.”
Eurydice glared at him.
“…Fine. I’ll allow it.”
They bought both sets.
 
Eurydice was looking through a shelf of plushies when she felt eyes on her.
She turned—and saw Conrad, standing stiffly, holding a tiny stuffed penguin.
Eurydice froze.
Conrad, expression unreadable, held it up. “…You like penguins.”
Eurydice blinked. “How do you know that?”
Conrad glanced at her. “You have a sketch of one on your desk.”
Eurydice blinked again.
For a moment, she was genuinely speechless.
Because—
Conrad noticed.
He paid attention.
And suddenly, the whole shopping trip wasn’t funny anymore.
Because fake or not—
For a moment, he wasn’t acting.
Eurydice took the penguin from him, clearing her throat. “Well. This is coming home with us.”
Conrad nodded once, expression neutral.
But as they walked to the register, Eurydice stole a glance at him.
And she couldn’t shake the feeling that something just shifted between them.
Eurydice had way too much fun picking out matching pajamas, couple mugs, and a stuffed penguin that definitely wasn’t going to stay on Conrad’s side of the bed.
But now?
Now it was time to push him even further.
She grabbed his arm, steering him toward a jewelry store.
Conrad immediately dug his heels in.
“No.”
Eurydice beamed. “Yes.”
“We already have engagement rings.”
“Yes, but those are serious.” She wiggled her fingers. “We need cute ones for everyday wear!”
Conrad gave her a flat stare. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Eurydice gasped dramatically. “Oh my God, you’re so unromantic! What will our adoring fans say if I’m not wearing a ring that screams ‘I’m taken’?”
“I don’t care.”
Eurydice ignored him, dragging him inside.
A well-dressed salesperson perked up immediately, recognizing Conrad. “Ah, Mr. Montague. Looking for something special for your fiancée?”
Conrad sighed deeply. “Unfortunately.”
Eurydice snickered, then turned to the salesperson. “We need matching couple rings—something cute, but not too cheesy.”
The salesperson nodded professionally and pulled out a small, elegant tray.
Eurydice scanned the options, eyes lighting up when she spotted one.
“Ooooh, this one!” She held up a pair of slim gold bands, simple except for a tiny, engraved crown on each.
“One says His Queen, the other says Her King,” the salesperson explained.
Eurydice grinned. “Perfect.”
Conrad did not look amused. “No.”
Eurydice grabbed his hand. “Try it on, babe.”
Conrad stared at her.
Then, very slowly, he leaned in and said in a low, deadly tone—
“Eurydice.”
She smirked. “Montague.”
A long, tense silence.
Then—
Conrad sighed again, took the ring, and slipped it onto his finger.
Eurydice beamed. “Aww, you’re such a good fiancé!”
Conrad looked ready to throw himself out of a window.
 
Just when Conrad thought things couldn’t get worse—
They did.
“Okay, final stop,” Eurydice announced, dragging him toward a photo booth.
Conrad immediately pivoted in the opposite direction. “Absolutely not.”
“Absolutely yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
Eurydice poked his side. “Come on, Montague, where’s your sense of fun?”
Conrad gave her a blank look. “Buried six feet under, next to my patience.”
“Welp. Time to resurrect it.”
She pushed him into the booth before he could argue, then climbed in after him, grinning triumphantly.
Conrad pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I hate you.”
Eurydice beamed. “Love you too, darling.”
 
The Photo Booth War
The first photo? Normal.
Conrad, arms crossed, looking mildly annoyed. Eurydice, smiling innocently.
The second photo? Chaos.
Eurydice made a peace sign, leaning in close.
Conrad, mid-eye roll.
The third photo? Pure sabotage.
Eurydice turned at the last second and kissed his cheek. Conrad’s entire body froze.
The fourth photo? Disaster.
Conrad, staring at her in disbelief.
Eurydice, laughing hysterically.
 
Eurydice grabbed the printed photos and immediately started giggling.
“Oh my God, Montague, you look so betrayed in this one.”
Conrad took the strip from her, staring at it.
The last photo—the one where she kissed his cheek—bothered him.
Not because of the kiss itself—
But because he hadn’t immediately hated it.
That was a problem.
A big one.
Eurydice snatched the photos back before he could think too hard about it.
“These are going straight to our PR team,” she declared. “You’re welcome.”
Conrad sighed, already regretting everything.
But when she wasn’t looking—
He glanced at the photos one more time.
And for some reason—
He didn’t throw them away.
 
Just when Conrad thought the torture was over, Eurydice veered sharply to the left, dragging him into yet another store.
“What now?” he muttered.
Eurydice beamed, holding up a pair of slippers.
“Matching house slippers, Montague.”
Conrad pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why?”
“Because we already share a bed, might as well commit fully to the aesthetic.”
Conrad exhaled sharply. “You enjoy watching me suffer.”
Eurydice grinned. “You say that like it’s news.”
She held up two options.
A simple black-and-white pair with elegant “His” and “Hers” labels. A horrendous, neon-pink-and-blue set that said: "If Lost, Return to Fiancée" (for Conrad) "I Stole His Heart (and His Hoodies)" (for Eurydice)
Eurydice wiggled the second pair in front of his face. “These ones, obviously.”
Conrad stared at them.
Then at her.
Then back at them.
“No.”
Eurydice pouted. “Aww, come on. What’s a little public humiliation between soulmates?”
Conrad sighed. “If I say yes, will you finally let me leave?”
Eurydice grinned like the devil himself. “Absolutely not.”
But she still got the slippers.
 
The Existential Crisis: Matching Phone Cases Edition
With their couple items haul complete, they started walking through the mall, Eurydice smugly satisfied, Conrad dead inside.
And then—
Conrad saw something that made him pause.
A teenage couple walking in front of them, holding hands.
At first, nothing special—until Conrad noticed their matching phone cases.
Eurydice, following his gaze, snickered. “Awww, look at them. So cute.”
Conrad glanced down at his own phone.
Then at Eurydice’s.
Then—
Realized a problem.
They didn’t have the same phone model.
Conrad stared at the couple’s phones, deep in thought.
Eurydice tilted her head. “Uh. Montague? What’s with the broody face?”
Conrad, still thinking too hard, muttered, “We don’t have the same phone unit.”
Eurydice blinked. “...Okay? And?”
Conrad frowned. “That means we can’t have matching phone cases.”
Eurydice stared at him.
For a second, it was dead silent.
Then—
Eurydice burst into uncontrollable laughter.
“OH MY GOD,” she wheezed. “Montague, did you just—did you actually just get annoyed that we can’t have matching phone cases?!”
Conrad froze.
Realization hit him like a truck.
He turned his deadly stare toward her. “I did not.”
Eurydice gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. “Oh, this is amazing. My cold, emotionless, business-minded fiancé is frustrated that we’re not phone-case-compatible!”
Conrad gritted his teeth. “I said no such thing.”
Eurydice wiped fake tears of joy. “This is the best day of my life.”
Conrad exhaled slowly, regretting everything.
Then, before she could continue, he turned sharply and walked into a tech store.
Eurydice, still laughing, followed after him. “Wait, wait—what are you—?”
She stopped mid-sentence as she saw Conrad at the counter, speaking to an employee.
“Do you have her phone model in stock?” Conrad asked, completely serious.
Eurydice’s eyes widened.
“Are you—are you actually buying my exact phone model right now?!”
Conrad glanced at her, expression blank. “You wanted props. Now we can have matching phone cases.”
Eurydice gawked.
The employee, completely unaware of the fake engagement situation, smiled. “Wow, sir, that’s so sweet. Most guys don’t go that far just for a matching aesthetic!”
Eurydice stared at Conrad like he had personally shattered her reality.
Because what kind of rich man willingly changes his phone just to match someone else’s?!
Conrad, completely ignoring her existential crisis, turned back to the employee.
“I’ll take it.”
 
Mission: FAKE ENGAGEMENT, REAL CHAOS
By the time they left the mall, Conrad was carrying bags full of nonsense, and Eurydice was still in shock.
She kept staring at his new phone, then at him.
Then back at the phone.
“…Montague,” she finally said. “Be honest. Did you actually just buy a brand-new phone just so we can have matching cases?”
Conrad didn’t even look at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Eurydice gasped dramatically. “OH MY GOD, YOU DID.”
Conrad walked faster.
Eurydice chased after him. “Wait, wait—this is groundbreaking! Are you secretly enjoying this?!”
“No.”
“Ohhh, I think you are!”
Conrad exhaled sharply. “Eurydice.”
“Admit it, Montague. You love this.”
Conrad looked down at the ridiculous pink-and-blue couple slippers in his bag.
At the matching pajamas he had unwillingly agreed to wear.
At the penguin plushie that Eurydice was definitely keeping on their bed.
And now?
Now, he was holding a new phone—just so they could have matching accessories.
Conrad paused.
He blinked.
Then, very, very slowly—
He realized.
…Oh no.
 
By the time they left the mall, Eurydice was beyond satisfied.
Conrad, meanwhile, looked exhausted.
“I am never doing this again,” he muttered as they walked back to the car.
Eurydice grinned. “Oh, babe, we both know that’s a lie.”
Conrad shot her a look. “You’re insufferable.”
Eurydice looped her arm through his. “And yet, you let me drag you through an entire shopping trip. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
Conrad sighed. Deeply.
But he didn’t let go.
And as they got into the car, Eurydice glanced at the bag with the tiny stuffed penguin.
And she realized something.
She had started this as a way to push their fake relationship further—
But somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling entirely fake.
And that?
That was a problem.