Pity.
"Compassion towards someone. Sympathy for others' misfortunes in life. It might be a positive emotion, however, the one with the receiving end is the only one who could judge if it's a good thing or not."
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Surprised and confused, JIMHUESH didn't know what else could be wrong when Senthie told him that it was neither the dinner nor the conversation that made her say those things to him. She didn't want to see him again. She didn't want anything to do with him. But, what was her reason? She only said nothing.
"Why?" he asked for, who knew, how many times. "Certainly, it couldn't be just nothing. There's something wrong. I'm sorry about earlier, it was clear that you were uncomfortable with the dinner. I'm sorry. But, please, can you tell me why you don't want to see me again?" He breathed out, hardly could contain his emotions that he couldn't explain. He continued, almost pleading, "would you tell me what did I do wrong? Give me at least a valid reason."
Senthie scoffed, he was taken aback. He couldn't understand her. He felt violated, he was certain that he didn't do something that could make her this mad. He knew that she wasn't shallow, but he didn't know why she was acting like a different person as if she turned cold and her personality flipped upside down.
Senthie smiled at him but her eyes were rather angry. The kind of rage that would make anyone cower and guilty even if they were innocent. "Right, I should give you a valid reason." She laughed and then glared at him. "I shouldn't act like a freaking immature one." She heaved an exasperated sigh. "I just found out that my father truly left us for another woman. Oh, right!" Her eyes widened as if she had realized something. "It wasn't for another woman, I guess. It was clearly for money. He chose money over his family."
"I'm sorry to hear that. That's horrible of him," Jimhuesh said, unsure if that was the right thing to say, he was overwhelmed by the sudden revelation. He didn't know why she was telling him this in this kind of situation, so he added, "that must've shocked you, but...what does that have something to do with now, with us?"
She shook her head as she snorted, "you wouldn't believe what I'm about to say."
He stared into her eyes and replied, "I believe you and I always will."
"My father," she paused to take a deep breath and blew out air, and groaned. "I'm so angry right now, I wanna scream! But it's fine, I can handle it." She gave him a tight lip smile. "My father... He's your mom's husband."
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SENTHIE left Jimhuesh dumbfounded with a deep cut through her heart. She turned off her phone right away in case he would contact her. She needed a bit of time to be able to deal with him again, 'coz she knew how persistent Jimhuesh was. She meant what she said when she told him that she didn't want to see him again. She hurt him, but she also hurt herself. She did consider him as a potential boyfriend, however, something unexpected and unbelievable happened that she would rather be single forever than have a connection with someone he already erased from her life. It was her father. Narciso Gomez.
After Senthie had taken a shower, she plopped onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. She asked herself why she was angry. She wondered what was happening to her. She placed a hand on her chest. "What is this feeling? Why am I hurting so much? I've already moved on from the past. Is it because he didn't recognize me? But that's understandable, I changed so much in nineteen years."
The last time Narciso had seen Senthie was when she was just six years old. There was no way he could recognize her. Whereas, Senthie, did so, after staring at him several times. She knew he looked familiar, and then she realized that Ronaldo Dela Cruz was the man in the picture that she had ripped apart that day when it was her last day as Rinana Gomez. He was her father. The same face, just a little bit older, the same voice, just a little bit raspier. She knew it was him with her logical and intuitive conclusion.
She squeezed her chest. "Do I still carry emotions for him? Do I still love him?" She shook her head. "No, that's absurd. I'm sure that's not the reason. I'm not even crying."
She removed her hand from her chest and positioned herself on the side. Her hands were stretched out, and she drew one of her legs slightly towards her stomach. She sighed. "Is it because he chose money over us?" She laughed and rolled to the other side. "It's funny that he even changed his name. But it's even funnier how he seems to enjoy his life after what he's done. Didn't he feel sorry for mom?"
The realization hit her. She was feeling all sorts of emotions because of her mom. She felt sorry for her. She wondered how she would break the news to her, Senthie believed it was necessary and her mother deserved to know the truth. But, what was the truth? Was she right about everything about her father? It did cross her mind that she might be wrong, so she decided to speak with Jimhuesh once again to ask him to set a meeting for her and Ronaldo.
The next day, Senthie woke up with a heavy weight on her chest. She was anxious for no reason. Her heart began to beat profusely, palpitating, even. She sat up and breathed in and out to calm her nerves. "This is not good, I think something bad is going to happen."
After a few breathing sessions, she reached for her phone on the bedside table and turned it on. As soon as the screen unlocked, her phone vibrated continuously, she waited for it to stop, and then she saw twenty-seven messages, all from Jimhuesh.
Senthie sighed, but for some unknown reason, her heartbeat even went faster. She scrolled the messages down to see the very first text.
"Sensen, did you get home safely? I'm not sure about what you said earlier, but I believe you, so I will talk to my parents about it later once I'm done thinking. I'll get back to you after I have gathered answers." Sent yesterday at 9:14 PM.
"Hope you're still awake, I'm about to talk to them now." Sent yesterday at 10:03 PM.
"Sensen, I'm so sorry. I really can't believe how much they've hidden from me. Can I call you? No, can we meet now? This is something that can't be done through a call. I can go to your house. I'll wait for your reply." Sent yesterday at 10:49 PM.
"Sensen, you've turned off your phone, didn't you? I can't contact you." Sent yesterday at 11:34 PM.
"I guess you won't turn on your phone. I'll just call you later, then." Sent today at 1:19 AM.
Senthie gasped. "Did he stay up all night waiting for my reply? Waiting for me until I open my line?"
She scrolled up to see the other text messages.
"Sensen, dad collapsed!" Sent today at 2:12 AM.
Senthie's eyes widened as she mumbled, "what?" She was surprised but wasn't worried. She then continued to read the texts.
"I can't contact you, I know you're still mad. But, he's still your dad, so once you read this message, I hope you visit him. Please." Sent today at 3:48 AM.
"Asian Hospital." Sent today at 3:49 AM.
"Sensen, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry." Sent today at 5:17 AM.
"I'm really, really, sorry. I hope you can forgive me. It's all my fault." Sent today at 5:43 AM.
The text messages were almost him apologizing, so Senthie scrolled faster until the last three messages.
"Sensen, dad's in critical condition because of me. It wasn't my intention, I swear. I'm really sorry." Sent today at 6:26 AM.
"Sensen, I hate myself for what happened to dad. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I hope mom and you, can forgive me." Sent today at 7:11 AM.
"Sensen, please come and see dad, just this once? I wanna go there and pick you up, but I can't seem to bring myself to face you. I'm so ashamed." Sent today at 7:31 AM.
A tear fell to Senthie's phone screen, she didn't realize she was crying. She didn't know why. Was it because of her father or was it because of something else?
Senthie took a bath before she went off to the hospital. When she arrived, she was nervous, and worried, but wasn't sure to whom, perhaps, both her father and Jimhuesh. She was also curious as to what happened to them. Why Jimhuesh had apologized many times and how come it was his fault for Ronaldo's condition?
A few moments later, Senthie reached Ronaldo's room. He was admitted to a presidential suite that had a living, kitchen, and dining area. He was lying on the bed, unconscious, with a ventilator machine on his side. And on the other side, Jennifer was there, holding his hand while weeping. She sniffed and turned her head up when she saw Senthie. "O-oh, you're here," she said, her voice cracked.
Senthie didn't know how to respond so she just nodded politely and stayed silent as she neared Ronaldo. She stared at him, he looked like he had been through tough times as implied by his pale and tired appearance, especially, the lines on his forehead, but Senthie felt nothing apart from pity. When she looked at Jennifer, she felt sorry. She felt bad, she thought that it was her fault this happened to her husband. "I'm sorry."
Jennifer's red puffy eyes gazed at Senthie. "What are you even sorry for, dear? You've done nothing wrong." She sniffed and wiped her tears. "I should be the one apologizing.  Not you."
Senthie shook her head and walked towards her way to the other side and stopped by the empty chair beside Jennifer. "Can I sit?"
Jennifer nodded and smiled. Senthie pulled the chair a bit and sat. "I've heard from Jim that he talked to both of you last night about some stuff. I'm sorry, I think I should apologize for it."
"I should be the one apologizing, Ms. Salvador... I'm sorry for everything. I didn't know that he has a family. If only I knew, I would never..." She shook her head and began crying again. "But please, understand his situation. He doesn't remember anything. He's lost his memories, they didn't come back. The doctor says there's no hope for him to be cured. His head has taken the most damage when he was in an accident."
Senthie's forehead creased. "Accident?"
"Yes. I was on vacation in Dubai when I saw him on the seashore. It was late at night, and the same day, November 8th..." Jennifer paused, and so did Senthie's heart. Her stomach lurched at hearing that date. That was her birthday.
Jennifer sniffed and then continued. "...everything that happened that day reminded me of how when my late husband was in my arms, begging him to open his eyes. It was hard, I pitied myself, and pitied Ronaldo, so I took him to my care, I called all the doctors I know to treat him. That was when we found out he has a fractured skull. It took a month for him to physically recover and when he gained consciousness, he doesn't remember anything, not even his name. We can't even start a search for his family or where he lived. When I found him, there was no phone, wallet, or anything with him. It was just hopeless, that was when I took the opportunity and brought him with me to the Philippines to introduce him as my son's father..." She paused and reached for Senthie's hands. "I'm sorry I couldn't do anything more than that. I hope you'd understand."
Senthie gave her a small smile. "I understand, you don't have to apologize, Ms. Jenny."
"Thank you, Ms. Salvador." She smiled back at her and glanced over at her husband. "You've fulfilled his wish. He finally met one of his family, and that's you. His daughter."
Suddenly, Senthie felt a hand cupping her face. Jennifer's thumb grazed her cheek. "You're crying, dear."
"Oh, s-sorry, I didn't realize," Senthie muttered and then wiped her face. Perhaps, tears came out when she realized that her father tried to keep his promise, or it could also be when she jumped to the worst conclusion and was all wrong about him. He didn't come back, not because he didn't want to, but it was because he just couldn't. She felt guilty and hated herself for it.
"Are you okay, dear?" asked Jennifer.
Senthie just smiled at her. "Thank you, Ms. Jenny. For telling me, for taking care of my father. He's very lucky to have met you."
There was silence between them after exchanging smiles, but it was perfect for the moment when a voice broke that stillness.
"H-honey..."
Senthie and Jennifer instantly turned their heads to the source of the voice. It was faint, barely audible, weak, and breathy, but he spoke. Ronaldo finally regained consciousness.
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Hello, Noomiells!
Out of Reach is nearing its end! One more chapter and epilogue to go!
Anyway, thank you for reading this chapter. Hope you liked it. :D
Please, let me know what you think. :D