SUYEN
The classroom buzzed with the usual chatter, but I kept my head down, sketching idly in my notebook. Nothing serious, just doodles of my favorite BL characters. It was my way of tuning out the world.
Marcus was in his usual spot at the back, silent and detached, while Collie sat closer to the middle. That wasn't unusual, but what stood out was how they weren’t their usual selves. Normally, they’d be exchanging jokes or arguing about something trivial, but today, there was a noticeable tension in the air.
And then there was Collie—his gaze kept drifting toward me like he wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself to.
I didn’t care. Not anymore.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the period, and I packed my things quickly, eager to escape the awkward silence. As I walked into the hallway, weaving through the bustling crowd, I felt a presence behind me.
“Suyen.”
His voice was sharp, too familiar. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
“What now, Collie?” I said without stopping.
But he wasn’t deterred. He caught up to me, stepping into my path and forcing me to stop.
“Are you and Marcus dating?” he asked, his tone accusatory.
I blinked at him, then rolled my eyes. “Seriously? That’s what you want to talk about?”
His jaw tightened, and he stepped closer, lowering his voice. “Answer the question.”
“No,” I said flatly, brushing past him, but he wasn’t done.
“Then why is he always with you?” he pressed, following me. “People are talking, Suyen.”
I turned to face him, my patience wearing thin. “Let them talk. Since when do I care what people say about me? And since when do you?”
“Because this isn’t you!” he snapped. “You’re not the type to—”
“To what, Collie?” I cut him off, my voice rising. “To have friends? To let someone be nice to me without assuming there’s something more?”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said, his frustration evident.
“Then what did you mean?” I challenged, stepping closer. “And why the hell do you care? You’re the last person who should be worried about my life.”
He faltered for a moment, but his expression hardened again. “I care because you’re better than this. Better than him.”
I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “Better than him? Marcus is a million times better than you, Collie. You don’t get to stand here and judge him when you’re the one who dragged me into your mess.”
His face turned red, but I wasn’t done.
“You think I forgot why we even happened?” I said, my voice cold. “I didn’t want you. I never wanted you. I was with you because I was angry, because I wanted to hurt Sophia the way she hurt me.”
His eyes widened, and for a moment, he looked like I’d slapped him.
“I’ve moved on,” I continued, my tone steady. “I’ve rebuilt my life. I’m not that angry, messed-up girl anymore. But you? You’re still stuck in the past, clinging to something that was never real.”
“Suyen—”
“Why does it even matter to you?” I snapped, cutting him off. “You’ve got your own life, your own distractions. So why are you standing here, acting like you still have a say in mine?”
“I—” He hesitated, his mouth opening and closing like he couldn’t find the right words.
“That’s what I thought,” I said, stepping back and glaring at him. “Stay out of my business, Collie. Whatever this is, whatever you think we had—it’s over. It’s been over for a long time.”
I turned and walked away, my heart pounding in my chest, but I refused to look back.
Collie might have been a chapter in my life, but that chapter was closed. I wasn’t going to let him rewrite it.
As I stormed away from Collie, my fists clenched, my breathing uneven, I spotted Marcus leaning casually against the wall just a few feet away. His posture was relaxed, but his face told a different story—jaw tight, eyes sharp. He must’ve overheard everything.
“Marcus,” I started, my voice still edged with frustration, “what are you doing here?”
He pushed off the wall, his expression unreadable. “So, is it true?”
I blinked, caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “Don’t play dumb, Suyen. I heard everything. You and Collie. You… were with him?”
The words stung, not because of what they meant, but because of how he said them—like I was someone he didn’t recognize, someone beneath him.
My stomach churned, but I stood my ground. “That’s none of your business, Marcus.”
“It is when I’ve been sticking my neck out for you,” he shot back, his voice sharp. “Defending you, backing you up—hell, even fighting Collie because I thought he was just being an ass. But now… now I’m starting to think maybe he was right.”
His words hit like a slap, and for a moment, I was too stunned to respond. He wasn’t just mad—he was disappointed.
“Right about what?” I asked, my voice low and dangerous.
“That you use people,” Marcus said, crossing his arms. “That you take whatever you want, consequences be damned. You didn’t care about Sophia, and you sure as hell didn’t care about Collie. Was it all just a game to you?”
I stared at him, my chest tight. “You think you know me?” I asked, my tone icy. “You don’t know a damn thing about why I did what I did.”
“Then enlighten me,” he challenged, his voice rising. “Because from where I’m standing, you look like someone who doesn’t care about anyone but herself.”
My heart pounded in my chest, anger and hurt swirling inside me. I could’ve explained myself. I could’ve told him everything—how I was broken, how I was angry, how I’d made a mistake I regretted every day. But looking at him now, with his judgment written all over his face, I knew it wouldn’t matter.
Instead, I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “You know what, Marcus? Believe whatever the hell you want. I don’t owe you an explanation, and I’m not going to beg for your approval.”
“Suyen—”
“No,” I snapped, cutting him off. “I’m done. Done with you, done with Collie, done with all of this.”
I turned on my heel and walked away, my steps firm, my head held high. I could feel his gaze on my back, but I didn’t look back.
He didn’t deserve an explanation. No one did.
I’d spent too long letting people define me, letting their opinions shape how I saw myself. But not anymore. If Marcus wanted to see me as some heartless manipulator, fine. Let him.
Because at the end of the day, I knew who I was. And I didn’t need anyone’s validation to keep moving forward.
The hallway grew quieter as I walked, the buzz of students fading into the background. I didn’t feel hurt anymore, just numb.
Let them think what they want, I thought. Let them talk.
****