< Nina >
“Happy Birthday, Yu!”
Yu stands there, stunned, trying to process his mind before he laughs. “Well, damn, it’s a huge surprise for me, indeed.”
“Heather and Olliver were the ones who decided this party even though it should be tomorrow,” Luca says as he shrugs.
“And you knew this all along, Luca,” he turns to face him with a smile. “I knew something was up when you decided to pick me up at the airport.”
“Welcome back, Yu,” the Japanese owner comes back to the counter, I unconsciously duck and hide under the stools. Luckily the lights here are dim so they can’t notice me unless I make a sound.
But as to why I decided to hide from them? T-that’s still a debatable topic I’ve been wondering about.
“We prepared your favorites: Hoegaarden especially and all the Asian cuisines here,” the owner guides Yu to the main table, and Yu follows suit with a huge toothy grin.
“Awesome! Would love some of the Sundubu-jjigae!”
And that leaves Luca who remains in the hallway, scanning the room before fiery grey eyes turn in my direction.
Oh, shoot.
But when he turns in my direction, I expect him to be tense or frowning when he sees me hiding at the stools but instead, he does what I would have never expected to see.
Luca smiles.
Not the wry or forced smile that I occasionally see when I am with him. But lips curve into a warm, genuine smile as his eyes flicker with tenderness.
But that smile isn’t actually directed towards me.
“Luca!!” A figure dashes as it passes by my hiding spot, as small tubby hands clasp on Luca’s clothed leg. The little girl not older than seven smiles with her toothless grin.
“Mon chou!” He says enthusiastically as he carries the little bundle of joy and gives her a peck on the forehead. She giggles. “Who is my little favorite?”
“Misa-chan!” She exclaims with the most adorable voice, pointing to herself. “Misa” then hugs Luca. “You’re the best big brother!”
It’s an adorable scene, really. It’s cute that Luca has this side of his that I would have never thought of seeing.
But I don’t understand it.
The feeling of hunger has been long forgotten and instead of embracing the feeling of triumph, seeing this side of Luca’s, it is replaced by a different feeling instead.
Another feeling, unfamiliar, that slowly crumbles every logic I have. If...I have one.
And it replaces pain. A feeling different from physical pain. A pain that is excruciating that I have to press my hand firmly on my chest.
“I’m so sorry Luca for Misa, when she heard your voice, she was excited to see you,” I let myself be distracted by another familiar voice. Who was that again? Ignoring the throbbing pain.
“Ah, Misora, it’s good to see you again,” Luca says, an unfamiliar kindness in his tone.
“Well, we can’t disturb you with Yu’s party, my husband will just keep talking all night,” says the owner’s wife. I’ve recognized when I lift up my head and focus on their conversation.
And not the pain in my chest.
They chat a bit, I have a hard time listening as my mind goes numb. Or maybe because the whole restaurant is booming with loud chatters and laughter or maybe because I’m just stuck here trying to decipher this feeling.
“You’re the best big brother ever!”
Was it this one? Or maybe the way Luca smiles at others that pierces my heart, pierces my right or entitlement to be his sister.
We are going to be family yet not once he looks at you like that, the voice, perhaps a hallucination of mine, whispers in my ear.
“Okay, we’re going to sing for you, Yu!” At that announcement among the loud noise, I sigh in relief when it cuts off my trance-like thoughts as I stand up.
Luca has long left the entryway and joined them. And most likely the wife and Misa are back upstairs.
I sigh, pinching my cheek to stop my own self-pity. It’s Yu’s special day! I have to celebrate with him!
“Ugh, you guys drunk-singing are just going to piss me off!” Yu exclaims, loudly. “Heck, you even drank most of my favorites!” They just laugh as they keep
Then they start chanting.
“Happy Birthday to you~”
I should be happy for Yu.
“Happy Birthday to you~”
“It’s fucking off-tune!” Yu laughs as he swings his beer. I should smile and laugh when Yu’s face reddens in both excitement and well, embarrassment.
“Happy Birthday to you~”
But I can’t. I can’t even force a smile. I can’t even approach Yu and greet him like a normal person.
“Happy Birthday to you~”
Because my eyes can’t stop staring at Luca who has been smiling all throughout the song.
‘You’re the best brother ever!’ Misa’s words keep echoing in my mind.
My heart sank as a realization struck me like an arrow.
This...feeling...it’s jealousy, isn’t it?
I’m jealous of a freaking kid who is such a cute child and brimming with innocence.
But I’m the problem here. Not Misa...not Yu….not even Luca.
I am such an idiot. Feeling jealous over a kid and my own future stepbrother.
My throat feels dry all of the sudden and I head back to the counter. I spot one man drinking by himself, his cheeks painted red with intoxication.
I don’t care as I sit next to him.
“Hey, kid, wanna drink?” He asks, grinning teeth by teeth as he hands over a beer mug. I know all logic tosses aside when someone’s drunk but he might have offered it to me just to tease me.
That...strikes a nerve in me as my cheeks redden.
Without hesitation, I grab the mug, lift my head up and gulp every last drop of alcohol in my mouth.
If it stops me from thinking like an idiot, I don’t care anymore.