A whole week has passed. A week of further torture and bullying. A week of trying to survive this thing called life. A week without catching a glimpse of the person who found me in the cubicle, and without finding him. A week of struggling to keep up my grades without access to my phone and the internet. And a week without opening the "Heartstrings Rewired" app. I miss having conversations with Syntho. I’m always honest with him. With him, I feel free to voice my thoughts without being judged.
“Have you seen the news?” a student whispers from another table.
I frown, hearing someone speak from the library, where I’m spending my afternoon lunch break. The only place where Charlotte can’t enter without making a scene.
“What news are you referring to?” her friend asks.
“Girl, the one that recently went viral, duh. You know, the hot man with tattoos who suddenly showed up a week ago,” she replies.
I have nothing else to do, so I decide to listen to their conversation.
“Oh, you mean the man who offered ten million to whoever finds out the real name and where the person behind the nickname ‘JustDOLL’ on the ‘Heartstrings Rewired’ app comes from?” she asks.
Excuse me?! What?! That's my username name on that app!
“Yes, and I heard the rumor that he’s in the country now.  I’m quite curious who that person behind that nickname is,” the other student says.
I gasp, quickly covering my mouth as the two girls at the table turn to look at me.  I quickly gather my things from the table, placing them in my backpack.  I head out of the library in a hurry, but I suddenly stop. Hold up. Why am I panicking?  I’m not the only one who has used the nickname “JustDOLL” on the “Heartstrings Rewired” app.  It’s a common username. Nothing to worry about, right?
“Okay, calm down, Shan. Don’t panic. Don’t assume. Don’t overthink it.  It’s impossible,” I whisper to myself, taking a few deep breaths.
“Oh, look who it is,” My eyes meet Charlotte’s, along with her friends. Gosh, can’t I have a day of peace away from her? My shoulders slump, and I swallow hard as she steps closer. Here we go again. 
“Are you hiding from us now, Shan?  You scared I might kick you out?  I probably should ask my Dad later, don’t you think?” she says, giving me a smile that I’ve never liked.
I immediately shake my head. “No, please don’t do that, Charlotte. It’s only six months until graduation.  So please, I’m begging you. Let me graduate.” I don’t care if I sound like a fool begging her.  “I just want to graduate. After that, I’ll be gone. Like I don’t exist at all.” After I graduate, I’ll take my life. I’ll end it before it ends me first.  I’ve already made up my mind.
“Aw, poor little Shan.  You want to graduate, you say? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you won’t graduate from this school.  I have better plans for you, poor soul,” she suddenly grabs my chin tightly.  “I’ll make your remaining days worth it for my pleasure.”  She pushes my face away before letting go and  I stumble backward.  She turns to her friends.  “Lock her up in the locker room.  To the abandoned building,” Then she looks back at me.  “If you ever try to fight back, I’ll ask my Dad to kick you out."
Lian and Selene grab my arms and pull me out of the library building. I keep my head low as we walk across the field to the abandoned building nearby.  Charlotte has kicked out students before when she asked her Dad to do it.  Whatever she wants, she gets. So I know that if I defy her again, I’ll be kicked out of MIPS, and when that happens, I’ll be kicked out of the house too. She recently started to bring her Dad into her bullying.  That’s why I’ve spent the entire week being completely obedient, doing whatever she wants.  Life has never been kind to me all these years you know.  I’m drowning.  Suffocating.  I can’t breathe.  My body is giving up on me.  I feel like someone is strangling me every time I’m at home or at school.  The twins? Even if they don’t say it, I can feel that they’re still angry about what I did ten years ago.  I was eight years old. We used to be close, but everything changed after we lost my sister because of me. And I blame myself every day of my life for that. I always feel alone after she left. I keep my thoughts and emotions bottled up inside me, until I downloaded the “Heartstrings Rewired” app. I’m just so exhausted already, and I don’t want to live anymore, but I have to because I’m fucking scared to disappoint my parents.
Lian and Selene suddenly shove me into the locker room, which used to be a classroom, before shutting the door and locking it from the outside.  I hear them laughing as they leave me alone inside.  Sunlight still streams in from the windows, indicating that it’s still early. Tears finally fall down my cheeks, and I collapse onto the dusty floor. I don’t deserve any of this.  This life, and the bullying that’s happening, never crossed my mind when I was a kid.  I pull my backpack off and take out the blade that’s hidden in a secret pocket.  I’ve been cutting myself until I slowly become used to the pain. I take off my blazer, followed by my white button-down shirt, until my upper body is exposed, leaving me in my bra.  I can see all the wounds and scars I’ve inflicted on myself.  No one knows what’s hiding beneath my clothes, because I always cover it up.  Making sure no one notices my cuts.  My last cut was a week ago. I’m suicidal.  I always have been. No one knows about it, not even my own family.  I aim the point of the blade, but I jolt in surprise when I hear a deep, low voice inside my head. I suddenly drop the blade in horror. What the hell was that?!
'Don’t you dare play that trick on me, missy. Throw the fucking blade away right now,' the voice says.
“Oh my gosh!!!” I scream in shock and quickly pull my uniform back on, before looking around me.  I see no one. The locker room is like a classroom, but it’s empty. There’s no one here besides me. I grab the blade from the floor, get up, and aim it in front of me, even though I can’t see anyone. I’m trembling in fear.  Fuck this!  Maybe it’s a ghost. Oh, please don’t be a ghost.  But can a ghost speak inside your head? Absolutely fucking not. 
“Who are you?! Where are you?! Why are you inside my head?! No, no. I’m just hallucinati—”
'Why the fuck are you holding the blade again?!  Drop that blade and throw it away. I’m warning you, if you cut yourself, I’ll tie your wrists behind your back when I find you,' the voice says, interrupting my thoughts.
I drop the blade, my whole body trembling. I’m just hallucinating.  This isn’t real. I’m going nuts—
'That’s my girl. Now, tell me where you are,' the voice says.
“You’re not real. You’re not real,” I mumble before shutting my eyes tightly, muttering the same words over and over. “You’re not rea—”
'Missy, I can hear you loud and clear.  Tell me where you are right now,' the voice says.
I place my palms on my face. I’m trembling with fear.  I don’t know what’s going on. I don't know if what's happening now is even real or I'm just creating it. “This isn’t happening! Shut up! You’re not real! You’re messing with my head!"