Is this the reality of the world? Why it is has to be this time? when I almost know the secrets. And why it has to be my mother out of all people. In time like this you will be asked things that will make you look selfish.

“I’m here to help, Alexa.” He’s been talking since he got here but I don't have time to talk to him.

“I don’t need you here sir. You can go now and get lost.” I told him coldly.

“I promised after I help you, I will stay away from the both of you. I don’t know if your mother tells you the whole story but I know where your anger is coming from but please Alexa, let me help you the best I can.”

“Alexa, I know you are mad at him, no, being mad is understatement, but for the sake of your mother let him help us.” I can sense the desperation on my auntie’s voice. I can’t blame her; we don’t know any people who can help us. I don’t even know any relatives, if we have.

If I could only have an idea to have the money that we need for the operation of my mother I will never accept the help of this jerk.

“I heard what happened. Where is she? Is she okay?” we turned our attention to the source of the voice.

“Who are you?” I gasped when I saw the new arrival because I think I saw him somewhere.

“What are you doing here, Theo?” auntie asked him which made me frown. I hope he doesn't add to my questions to mother because I can't process things anymore.

“Do you know him auntie?” I asked her but she ignored me because her attention was focused on this man.

“I want to know about her condition.” He ordered demandingly.

“You don’t have the right to know about her condition.” Mr. Sanchez bravely answered him, who earlier was like a meek sheep.

"Oh, I didn't notice you, I thought you were in jail." He said strongly.

"Shameless!" Mr. Sanchez was immediately annoyed by this man's short line.

They start punching each other. They didn't care that they were in a hospital hallway. Fortunately, there is no one in the hallway where we are now. But the sound of their punches and their intense exchange of words echoed throughout the hallway.

"Don't clean yourself up! You left her because you saw someone else." shouted by Mr. Sanchez

"You're worse than me, remember that." the unknown man retorted.

“Stop it!” Auntie shouted loudly.

Aunty tried to stop them but it was no use. Both of them have bruises and wounds. These men are very immature. Later on, security guards responded and successfully separated the two.

I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know either who is this new guy but his face looks familiar.

"You two must leave here. Maybe later we will throw out from here because of your fight. And you really managed to brag about who is more shameless." Auntie reprimanded them.

"I'm sorry. I'll take care of the expenses here at the hospital. I'll be back when no one else is here." he said.

“--- let me help you for the bills.” said by Mr. Sanchez.

"There is no need. Can you leave because you know she doesn't want to see you. That she hates even the ends of your hair."
"But when it comes to this man, it's okay with her. Her life was ruined because of that man."

"Why do you think it's okay for her to see that man? Are you that stupid to think that it is okay to her? Every day she still thinks about what happened to her. She even hates her own daughter cannot accept her. Do you think it's about who is more guilty? Stop it, don't pretend you're so good." auntie catches her breath after she said those words that made my world stopped.

"A-auntie..." I hypocritically smiled at her as my tears fell, "As expected, you know everything."

“Alexa s-sorry…” shock was all over her face. She didn't expect that she will blurted out.

“So that’s the reason. She can’t consider me as her daughter because of it. My existing reminds of the hell she suffered. That’s the reason why she can’t even look at my eyes. That’s the reason she doesn’t want to talk to me. That’s the reason I feel like I don’t exist in her life. That’s…t-that’s the reason she can’t l-love me.”

“Alexa…” Mr. Sanchez said my name cautiously.

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear my name out of your mouth.”

I ran away from them. It hurts to know the truth. It's good to laugh at myself. I always wanted to know the the truth but now I feel like I just want to go back in time, the time when I was just kept in the dark.

“Hey! what happened? Are you okay? he asked one after another when he saw me outside the hospital.

"Here," then he handed me a canned drink, "I was just out for a while and suddenly you disappeared."


"Go away."

“Alexa, please…”

“You need to stop! You want to know why you must stop? Want me to tell you?”

“I don’t get you. what are you saying? I’m just here to check on you and your mom. What are you saying?”

“My mother wants me to stay away from you! Your dad is my mother’s ex-lover who dumped her for your mother.” I can't stop myself from telling him. I'm so full I don't know how to take these thoughts anymore.

“That’s not true and stop making up a story.”

“You think I’m only making up a story? Wow! Do you think I’m capable of doing it? Right now?” I laugh sarcastically. “You can even ask you father; I think you will see him inside the hospital or he’s already on his way out.”

"What are you saying Alexa? What will my father do here?" he asked me. He obviously did not understand what I was saying. But I have nothing to worry about it.

"Why don't you ask him?" I asked him boldly. I want his daddy himself to tell the story of his stupidity.

“Travis?” I heard the man called in the distance.

I could clearly see the confusion and surprise on Travis' face. Destiny plays a different game. They actually even met here. He will know exactly what he wants to know if only his father will answer him. He is definitely like my mother. They will hide even it is already obvious.

No matter how much you try to hide or even try to forget, there are times when there’s an opportunity to remember the past. Those miserable things that happened are still the most dominant in our mind.

“Dad? What are you doing here.” He suddenly asked.

“That’s right…ask him.” I left him standing there and walked away. I even met his father who seemed to turn pale when he saw me.

I walked away from them. I suddenly feel weak, I don't know where my legs will take me. I just want to be alone as I'm used to. I always wanted to know the answers that were bothering me and now I know that I don't know what I should do.

I just want to be alone knowing that I will no longer be considered as my mother's child. All my hopes have disappeared in the event that she will consider me as a child or that she will give me at least a little attention. I wish I could feel her love. This is the right time for me to give up.

It’s too painful to know it from other people. It hurts because all this time I was the reason why she was like that. Why did it have to happen to her? Even I wouldn't dream of living anymore if I only knew that I was created that way.

I want to hurt him, I want to scold him, but I don't have the courage to do that. Many of the things I experienced were because of him.

I stopped for a moment because my cellphone rang. I have arrived somewhere just near the hospital. I have to go back to auntie. I hope mother's condition will be fine. And when that happens, I'll be the one who will voluntarily walk away from her. I can no longer see her eyes full of anger when she looks at me. I also don't want to torture her every time dhe remembers what happened every time she sees me.
___
"Auntie, what's the update about mother?" I caught her bent over the bed while sitting beside by mother's bed. We're not allowed to go where the operating room is located.

"When I came here the doctor said that she suffered from leg injury that needed a surgery. I immediately agreed even though I didn't know where we were going to get the money. I just think she needs to be safe." she said while not looking at my eyes. “Let’s just wait for them and pray for a good operation.”
"I know you already accepted the help of that man even before I got here. They can't just start operating without a money. Money controls everything." I spit those facts on her. She kept her mouth shut and didn't try to oppose me.

“Call me if she’s already back. I just need to do something.”

"Where are you going?" I ignored her and continued walking, "Alexa." She called me but she couldn't shout because there were many patients resting.

Where can I find another job? I'm sure my income will not be enough if I only work at the diner. My whole life, I've been living miserably.