HANNAH
The silence between us felt thick, like a layer of fog that neither of us could escape. My heartbeat was too loud in my ears, and I could hear the subtle shift of Jeremy's body beside me, but I didn't dare move. I couldn’t. The air felt too heavy.
His eyes... there was something different about them. I had always noticed the way they could shift from calm to intense, but now? Now, they held something I couldn’t quite place. They were darker, but not in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. It was like he had grown into himself more, somehow, even though it hadn’t been that long—just a month, really.
But in that month, everything about him had changed. His shoulders were broader, his jawline more defined. His messy hair, always falling into his face, now looked more like a deliberate style. The way he carried himself seemed more... confident, but not the cocky kind of confident. It was like he had settled into a new version of himself, one that felt distant, like I was no longer quite as close to him as I had been.
Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was the one changing.
I couldn’t put my finger on it. He looked more rugged, more mature in ways I hadn’t expected. The soft edges of the boy I once knew were becoming sharper, and with it, a strange space seemed to widen between us. A gap that hadn’t been there before.
It made everything feel tense. Every breath I took, every slight movement he made beside me, seemed to amplify the silence. I couldn’t tell if he was waiting for me to say something or if he was content just watching me.
For a moment, neither of us moved. I didn’t want to break the stillness. I couldn’t decide whether it was uncomfortable or just... something else.
I kept my eyes on the ceiling, avoiding his gaze, because I knew if I looked at him now, I wouldn’t be able to keep my composure. But I could still feel his presence. I could feel his stare, like it was drawing me in, pulling me in a way that left my chest tight.
Finally, I gathered the courage to speak, but when I did, my voice came out softer than I intended.
“Jeremy... what are you doing here?”
He didn’t immediately respond. For a moment, I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me, but then his voice broke through the tension, low and quiet.
“I came to check on you.”
It was such a simple answer, but it felt heavier than it should. I could almost hear the weight behind those words, as if there was something more to it that he wasn’t saying.
“You’ve been... different lately,” I said, the words slipping out before I could stop them. I immediately regretted it. I shouldn’t have said that. Not to him.
But Jeremy didn’t seem offended. He just shifted, his posture subtly more alert, like he was carefully considering how to respond. “I guess we all change a bit. Don’t we?”
His words hung in the air, and for a moment, I felt exposed. Like he had just peeled back some part of me that I didn’t even realize I had hidden away. It made my heart beat a little faster, my nerves jittering with the sudden awareness that there was something more going on here—something that neither of us had put into words.
The way he looked at me, the way he seemed to know exactly what was going through my mind... It was unsettling, but also oddly comforting.
But no matter how much I wanted to dive into whatever this was—whatever this feeling was between us—I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to.
So, I just stayed silent, letting the tension stretch between us like a thin, fragile thread.
And the silence... it didn’t feel like something that would be broken easily.
It felt like a door closing. And I couldn’t decide whether it was leading us to an end, or something else entirely.
The silence lingered between us like a storm that hadn’t yet broken, but I could feel the tension building, thick and suffocating, making it harder to breathe. I didn’t know when I had gotten so aware of him—of his presence, of the way he sat there, just staring at me. His eyes never left me, and I could feel the weight of them, like they were peeling back the layers I had so carefully built around myself.
I turned my head slightly, avoiding his gaze, but I couldn’t ignore him. The space between us felt tighter than ever, like there was no way out, no way to hide. I swallowed, trying to steady my breathing, but everything felt off, like I was teetering on the edge of something I couldn’t control.
I could hear him shift next to me, and my heart raced in anticipation. Then, his voice, quiet but firm, broke the silence.
“Hannah…” Jeremy’s voice was low, almost too quiet, but there was something in it that made my skin prickle. “Why have you been avoiding me?”
I didn’t respond at first. My throat tightened, my tongue heavy in my mouth. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to explain the chaos that had been swirling inside me for the past few weeks.
He didn’t give me time to gather my thoughts. His voice came again, sharper this time, like a command.
“Tell me. What’s going on?”
The intensity in his voice made my chest tighten. I could feel his eyes on me, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him. The words I had been avoiding, the truth I had been trying to bury, started to rise to the surface.
I took a shaky breath. My heart was beating in my throat now, and it was hard to concentrate. But I had to say it. I had to. I couldn’t keep running away.
“I... I’m sorry,” I whispered, so quietly that I wasn’t sure if he heard me. “I’m not selfish, Jeremy. I don’t want to keep putting you in a position where I’m... expecting something that you don’t feel. That’s not fair to you.”
I finally looked at him, just for a second, and when I did, I saw it. His eyes, those blue eyes, were fixed on me, darkened with something I couldn’t read. The intensity there was almost suffocating. He didn’t say anything, but I could feel him waiting for me to explain further.
My voice faltered, but I pushed forward, my words quiet but calm.
“I don’t want to make things awkward between us. I just… I just realized something. You don’t feel the same way, and I know that. I’ve known that. I just needed time to... move on, I guess.” My voice trembled a little, but I didn’t let myself cry. I wasn’t going to do that, not now. “And that’s why I’ve been distancing myself. Because I don’t want to ruin what we have. I don’t want to make things complicated or... mess up our friendship.”
I could feel the air between us shift, and it was like time slowed down for a second. Jeremy was silent, his eyes never leaving mine. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t. It was like his gaze had locked me in place. The way he stared at me made my heart beat faster, but not in the way it usually did. This time, it felt like I was under a microscope, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it.
Finally, he spoke again, his voice soft but steady. “But we’re friends, Hannah.”
His words hit me like a punch to the chest. It was so simple, so... matter-of-fact. I wanted to answer, to say something that would make this feel less painful, but all I could do was nod, my eyes welling up with tears I refused to let fall.
“Yes,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “That’s why I’m distancing myself. Because I don’t want to make things awkward. And I know you don’t feel the same for me, Jeremy. You never did.”
The words came out easier than I thought, but they felt like they weighed a ton. There was a certain kind of relief that came with admitting it aloud, but also a sadness that I couldn’t quite shake.
I could see his face freeze for a moment, his eyes hardening just slightly, but then he looked away. He ran a hand through his hair, a habit he did when he was thinking, and I couldn’t help but notice how different he seemed—how distant.
I wasn’t sure what I expected him to say, but when he did speak, his words caught me off guard.
“Are you really sure about this?” His voice was so quiet, almost like he was asking himself more than me. “Are you sure you want to forget those feelings?”
I froze. The question hung in the air between us, thick and heavy. I could feel my breath catch in my throat, and for a moment, I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t know how to explain that it was never about forgetting. It was about accepting the reality of the situation.
I took a deep breath and nodded, trying to steady myself.
“Yes,” I said, quieter than before, but still sure of what I was saying. “I’m sure. I don’t want to make things awkward. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m okay, Jeremy. I really am. I just need to move on.”
He didn’t say anything for a long time. His gaze was fixed on me, and for a moment, I thought I might have said the wrong thing. I could see the flicker of something in his eyes, but it was gone before I could read it.
Finally, after what felt like forever, he nodded slowly, as if he was coming to terms with something. “Alright,” he said, his voice almost like a whisper. “I get it.”
I felt a pang in my chest, like something inside me had been cracked open, but I couldn’t stop myself from nodding.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice breaking slightly. “I didn’t mean to ruin our friendship.”
Jeremy didn’t say anything in response. He just looked at me for a moment, and then, without another word, he stood up. His movements were deliberate, calm, but there was something about the way he carried himself now that made me feel like he was a stranger to me.
“You need to rest,” he said simply, his tone softer than before. “I’ll see you around, Hannah.”
I nodded, trying to smile, but it felt weak, like my heart was too heavy to carry. I wanted to say more, to tell him that I hoped everything could be okay between us, but the words stuck in my throat.
With that, he turned and walked towards the door, his steps measured, and just before he left, he gave me one last look. His eyes lingered on me for a brief moment, and then he was gone.
I didn’t know what to feel anymore. It was like everything had changed, and I was left standing there, unsure of what to do next.
But at least, for now, I was free. Free of the feelings that had been weighing me down. Free of the uncertainty that had plagued me.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
****