The day a flower had withered away is the day of doom. The world collapses onto each other, faith tangling, refusing to stay. I could've never understood why my father decided to ever consume alcohol in the first place when the incident took place.
The forgiveness I had given, will it ever heal the wound that had been traced in my heart? Not once, never. 
Between all this years, the question still lingered in her mind like a ghost, refusing to be exorcised. Why, why did he make such choices. Why didn't he try to retrieve from the choices he made and tried doing something to ensure her life? What, what came across his mind? He had never lose control, never in his life had the thought ever wavered his faith. 
I had burried the questions deep in my mind, refusing to believe the truth that was told. A drunkes rage, a home that has been shattered, and a father that I could never see the same again. Even if I had forgiven him. I didn't see what had happened, I only hid by the door, my hearing became my sight, telling me the things that had happened. 
A father figure, something that I had long craved for. But is it worth it, to toss the past and forgive him without any confirmation of the things he had done? I want to hear him tell me, how, why he murdered her. 
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Roselle laid herself by the couch, the dim flickering light, emphasizing the state of her mind. Her mind sat on one place. The truth. She couldn't fully believe that the murderer of her mother is actually her father. She wanted to seek for the truth, even if it means she had to face the consequences of curiosity.
Infront of her, laid a laptop. The dim light of the laptop's screen accompanying her by the dark. Her fingers glides onto the keyboards as she searched about the case of the death of Katelyn Everlyn. Many articles were made, she looked up each one of the articles. Emotions ruffling in between her, wavering like the sea. All of it, each one of the articles showed the same result. A drunken man, killing his wife and imprisoned. Non of the articles defended him, it made Roselle felt.. upset. 
She wanted to re-open the case, to hear the defenses from her father, to hear what had actually happened that night. Did he really kill her? That night, she spent it only looking up articles of the incident and understanding each reports. The only thing that worried her was, what if, what if he remains guilty?
What would the disheartening truth make her grow distance from her father? Is forgiving someone meant that we need to keep them by our side? Countless thoughts withered one by one as she spent the night seeking the truth.
The cursor blinked against the screen, taunting her. She had read the same lines over and over again, hoping that, somehow, the words would shift and reveal something different. But they never did.
Her father, a murderer.
Roselle leaned back into the couch, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes. Her chest felt tight, her stomach twisted in knots. How was she supposed to breathe knowing that the only parent she had left was the reason her mother was buried beneath the earth? Yet, another part of her refused to accept it.
No.
Her father was strict, distant, flawed in so many ways, but a killer? Hadn’t she spent her whole life searching for proof that he was more than the man the world painted him to be? Hadn’t she wanted to believe that something. Anything else had happened that night?
But every article, every report, screamed the same thing.
She stared at her phone, her fingers hovering over the call button. She wanted to ask him. Needed to ask him. She wanted him to tell her that all of this was a lie, that there was something. Anything,she didn’t know. But what if he didn’t?
What if she called, and all she got in return was silence? Or worse, a confirmation of everything she was afraid to believe? She pulled her knees to her chest, her breaths shaky. If he admitted to it, could she still look him in the eye? Could she still call him her father?
And if she couldn’t, if this truth made her lose him, what would she have left? The thought sent a cold shiver through her.
She had spent so many years trying to forgive, trying to make peace with the past. But she had never expected the past to turn around and ask her if she could still love the man who had destroyed her world.
The weight of it all settled on her shoulders, heavy and suffocating. Roselle closed the laptop. For tonight, she didn’t want to know anymore. But deep inside, she knew she couldn’t run from this forever.