As the first light of dawn peeked through her curtains, Lucretia lay sprawled on her bed, too distracted to start her day. She tossed and turned, her mind muddled with thoughts of Philip and their argument from the previous evening.
As her gaze drifted to her window, she let herself recall moments with Philip, simple ones, but each holding a weight she hadn’t fully appreciated before. They’d grown up side by side, their lives woven together so naturally that she hadn’t realized just how much she leaned on him until recently. There was the time he’d found her in the backyard, upset about failing her first math exam in middle school; he’d sat with her quietly, wordlessly offering her the sense that she wasn’t alone. Or the time she’d cheered him on, every single soccer game, until her voice was hoarse.
But last night, his silence had been different. There was no comfort in it—only a chill that made her wonder if she’d done something to drive him away.
And then, there was Jayden. The thought of him brought a softer, nervous energy. She replayed his words from last night, how he’d called her his girlfriend with such quiet confidence, even taking her hand like they’d been together for years. It was endearing—sweet, even—and she knew he genuinely cared about her. But there was a faint pull at her heart that told her this sweetness couldn’t quite compare to the complex, layered feelings she had for Philip.
She sighed, her heart weighed down by the mix of excitement and guilt. Jayden’s gentle persistence made her happy; he had an easy way of making her laugh and pulling her out of her head. But deep down, she was always aware of that gap between her growing connection with Jayden and her long-standing, magnetic bond with Philip.
“Why do I feel like this?” she whispered into the silence of her room, running a hand over her face. She was falling into a place she didn’t understand—a place where her feelings didn’t quite make sense, where she felt caught between comfort and yearning.
Just as she started to drift off again, a loud knock echoed through her room.
"Lucretia… Lucretia!" came her mother’s voice, firm and unmistakable.
With a jolt, she sat up. "Oh… God… Mum, you startled me!"
Mrs. Angelica's voice softened through the door. "Sorry, dear. I just wanted to make sure you’re awake. You’ll be late for school."
"I'm up, Mum," Lucretia muttered, stifling a yawn as she swung her legs off the bed.
"Good. Hurry downstairs when you’re ready." Her mother’s footsteps faded down the hall, and Lucretia sighed, stretching as she tried to shake off the lingering drowsiness.
She wandered over to her window, where she spotted Philip’s house just across the way. Her gaze settled on the driveway, and soon enough, a sleek white car pulled up. That must be Daisy, she thought, her curiosity piqued.
As she stood there, another thought slipped in, uninvited: that familiar pang of yearning that stirred every time she saw Philip, but with a twist of jealousy now that Daisy was in the picture. Seeing that white car pulled up in front of his house sent a faint, bitter taste to her mouth.
She’d tried so hard to hide it, but seeing Philip with someone else—even if it was only a friend or classmate—left her feeling inexplicably hollow. It was unfair to Jayden, she knew, but the heart had a strange way of holding on to old feelings, refusing to let go no matter how many new ones tried to take root.
“It should be simple,” she told herself, half-bitterly. “I should be happy with Jayden. He’s kind, thoughtful… what more could I ask for?” But as she watched Philip’s empty window, she knew that, deep down, things weren’t so simple. She wanted something more than kindness, something that held all the messy, beautiful weight of her past with Philip, even if that weight came with heartache and confusion.
And the worst part was that, despite her best efforts, she didn’t know how to let go.
As if an cue, she saw Philip stepped out onto the driveway, heading toward the car. But just as he was about to climb in, he turned slightly and looked up, his gaze landing on her window.
Lucretia smiled and lifted her hand to wave, but his expression was unreadable. He quickly looked away, climbing into the car without any acknowledgment. Her hand hung in the air, suspended mid-wave, as confusion set in. Is he still upset about yesterday? she wondered.
"Lucretia!" her mother’s voice echoed from downstairs, jolting her out of her thoughts.
"Coming, Mum!" Lucretia called back, rushing to the washroom. She quickly got ready, brushed her hair, and packed her bag. When she glanced at her phone, she noticed a few missed calls from Jayden. Before she could return his call, her mother’s voice rang out again, reminding her of the time.
With a quick glance at the clock, Lucretia tossed her phone into her bag and hurried out of her room, meeting her mother at the foot of the stairs.
"Honestly, Lucretia, what’s keeping you up there?" Mrs. Angelica chided, giving her a pointed look.
"Sorry, Mum," Lucretia replied sheepishly, finishing her descent.
"You need to be more time-conscious, Lucretia. This isn’t the first time," her mother sighed, shaking her head.
"I know, I know," she mumbled, leaning over to give her mother a quick peck on the cheek. "See you later, Mum!"
"Take care, and have a good day!" Mrs. Angelica called after her as Lucretia stepped outside.
After a short walk down the road, she spotted a familiar figure leaning against a wall, gazing at the ground.
“Jayden?” she whispered, picking up her pace. As she neared him, he looked up, flashing her a bright smile.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, unable to hide her surprise.
Jayden shrugged, a grin still on his face. “Thought I’d surprise you. You’ve been getting to school pretty late lately, so I figured I’d be your alarm clock this morning.”
Lucretia laughed softly, but her gaze drifted away, embarrassed. "I didn’t expect you this early, that’s all."
Jayden tilted his head, feigning disappointment. “Not happy to see me, are you?”
She fumbled for words, but he interrupted her with a chuckle, slipping an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, Luc, let’s get going or we’ll both end up late.” They headed toward the bus stop, Jayden’s laughter lightening the morning air.
But Philip’s coldness still stung, leaving an ache she couldn’t shake, and the way he’d turned away from her, stepping into that car without even acknowledging her wave, replayed in her mind like a relentless loop.
---
It was 7:30 a.m. when they arrived at school. Lucretia adjusted her bag, but Jayden quickly took it from her hands with a playful grin. “Let me help.”
She resisted, reaching for her bag. “No, I can carry it.”
They ended up in a friendly tug-of-war, laughing as they chased each other around, both unwilling to back down. The sound of their laughter drew a few glances from nearby students, but neither seemed to mind. However, across the entrance, Philip stood by an ornamental plant, chatting with friends about their last football match. His cheerful expression dimmed as he spotted Lucretia and Jayden, their closeness leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
Mike, noticing the shift in Philip’s expression, followed his gaze. "Philip… are you okay?" he asked cautiously, before catching sight of Lucretia and Jayden. “Oh…”
Without another word, Philip turned and stalked away, his face clouded with annoyance. "Let’s go, guys,” he said sharply.
“What’s with him?” Eugene murmured, watching Philip’s stiff posture as he walked off.
Mike sighed, nudging him. “I’ll explain later. Let’s catch up before he storms off.”
Meanwhile, Jayden noticed Lucretia’s sudden change in mood. She had gone silent, her gaze following Philip’s retreating form. Concerned, he stopped beside her. “Are you okay, Lucretia?” he asked, his voice gentle.
Snapping back to reality, she managed a small smile as she took her bag from him. “Yeah… let’s just get to class.” Her words were soft, but Jayden could see the tension in her eyes as she turned and started walking ahead.
Watching her, Jayden’s brows furrowed in confusion. Did I do something wrong? he wondered as he reluctantly followed her toward the school building.