ZEN
"Are you okay?"
"I guess so," I replied, rubbing my temples.
Was I dreaming? I woke up feeling awful that day. I was lying on the floor, with a large chunk of stone beside me. The ceiling had a missing brick, which was odd since the house was built to withstand earthquakes. The ceiling was supposed to be incredibly sturdy, so it was strange that a brick had fallen out.
Did I pass out because a brick hit my head? I couldn't remember much after waking up. All I recall is breaking a wall and then... that's it. I blacked out. I ended up in the hospital because my head was bleeding, and I couldn't remember anything.
"You look more stressed now that you're alone in your aunt's house," Chief noted.
I sighed. "I can't sleep at night. I'm bothered by the murders." I placed the folder on his desk. "Hey, you called me, right? I can't remember much, but... what were you saying about the grave?"
He paused and looked at me. "What grave?"
"The one you mentioned when you called. I told you, I can't remember anything clearly. I got hit with a brick, for God's sake."
"I didn't call you," he said quickly. "But yeah, I think you should get some rest, especially after coming from the hospital. Thank you for the report."
I didn't argue because I really did need some rest. I had been staying in the hospital ever since I found out a brick hit my head. But the doctor said my injury wasn't just from a brick. It caused me memory loss.
I mean, it could be. But to the point where I can't remember anything? The doctor also told me-- never mind. I just need some rest.
When I got home, I went straight to my room. I covered the broken wall with a curtain. I'll get it fixed and won't tell Aunt Sarisa that I broke it because-- why did I break the wall in the first place?
Damn it, my memory is all over the place. I can't even remember why I broke the wall. I was puzzled when I came home and found the wall broken, so I decided to investigate. I hadn't slept because I searched the entire house, even inside the walls. I found nothing. Not a single trace.
I don't understand why I broke it. Maybe because of rats? But there were no rats.
Well, the doctor said my memories would come back eventually. I'll just have to wait. Maybe weeks or months. I'm not in a hurry, but... something feels off. I just... I don't know.
My day went normally after I filed my report. I don't know why it feels weird to have a normal day while I'm here at home. It's like there's something I can't figure out.
I'm used to silence, but... why does it feel too quiet?
God, I don't make any sense. I'm being weird.
When night came, I ate dinner and watched TV for a bit. When I got bored, I quickly went upstairs after locking everything that needed to be locked. I went into the bathroom in my room and savored the silence for a moment.
"I'm not used to having no work," I muttered to myself while staring at my reflection in the mirror.
But there's this weird feeling like--
I know this feeling. I've felt it before.
I feel like I'm being watched.
I swear. I don't know why I'm feeling this way again. But it feels like someone is watching my every move. Even now, as I stare into the mirror, it feels like I'm not just looking at my reflection. It feels like... I'm looking at something-- at someone.
And like I said, I've felt this before. But I was a kid then, and I was aware that Noah always watched me whenever I played with our neighbors.
He was always there, watching my every move. But he never talked to me-- no, he stopped speaking to anyone, even to Aunt Sarisa.
But I can still remember it, even now. I wish those memories were the ones I forgot. But I can still remember that kid.
He tried to kill me once, yes. But after that, he never hurt me again-- he kind of treated me like a person. He would knock on my door when it was time to eat, walk with me to school and back, but he never talked to me. Never. I even forgot what his voice sounded like back then.
Not until the popular kid went missing-- Gacy. The kid was found behind the school-- with his skull smashed, and all the witnesses pointed to Noah as the last person seen with Gacy.
I don't know... maybe Noah did it. But then, Noah suddenly died too. He went missing for days, and then the authorities found his body-- also behind the school. I never saw Noah's body because Aunt Sarisa didn't want his coffin open.
Understandable. She's a mother.
I touched the mirror in front of me. I can see my reflection there. And if ghosts are real, maybe Noah's here.
"I'm sorry, Noah, but I am thankful that you're dead," I whispered. "Who knows what you could do now that we're the same age?"
That would be really, really bad.
And even though I tried to feel sad back then, because honestly, he was nice to me compared to other kids. He treated me like family. We even slept in the same bed. And as you can see, I'm still alive. He didn't strangle me in my sleep or anything. He even woke me up when he woke up first.
But it doesn't change the fact that everyone breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone. He was the last Dela Cruz. And people witnessed that all the Dela Cruz children turned out like their parents. Even though they received all kinds of help from the government-- therapy, medicines, you name it, they got it to prevent them from becoming like their parents. Heck, even Noah's father, Sebastian Dela Cruz, received that help.
But the thing is... they know damn well how to blend in.
And that's scary.
"Maybe you could blend well, too, just like your dad," I said again. "I bet you would've killed countless people if you were still alive."
I chuckled softly. "God, I'm being so judgmental." And I don't even know why I'm talking to the air.
I let out a deep breath. I started washing my hands while I spoke. "Many women are being killed now. Same DNA of the killer, same way of killing, same causes of death. Just like a cycle... but we still have no leads. And you know what's scary?" I laughed dryly and looked in the mirror. It's me. I'm talking to myself.
"All the women... they look like me." I turned off the faucet. "Same hair color and length. Same eye color and build." I laughed again. But I know there's nothing funny about what I'm saying. "I thought I was just being paranoid, but when I got a haircut that reached just below my cheeks-- the next victims were women with the same haircut."
Maybe it's a coincidence... maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I'm scared... that's why I'm here alone, away from many people, because I'm scared-- that I might be next.
"Who could have a secret grudge against me?" I asked. "The only one I know who might have a grudge is you, Noah, because I didn't shed a tear for you."
I fell silent and listened to the quiet. I replaced the bandage on my head and left the bathroom after turning off the light. But I stopped when I heard a loud noise.
In the wall.
I went back inside the bathroom and turned the light back on. I was stunned to see a hole in the wall next to the mirror. It looks like...
Someone punched the wall from the inside.
*****