I stepped into the house and silently made my way to the stairs. Halfway up, quick shuffling headed towards the door.
"Ryuk Mingyu!" I came to a stop as Mama's voice echoed all throughout the house.
I rolled my eyes before I turned to them once more.
Mama proceeded, "Why are you doing this? Why are you making things harder for everybody? Your sisters are trying to find a way to provide for their kids. But you decided to call the police, throw them in jail and have child services take away their kids. What are you trying to do?"
"Instead of asking me, why don't you ask your two beloved daughters, then?" I spatted. I continued, "Your daughters brought home drug dealers into your house. They almost endangered your kids and me, who also happens to be your daughter. After what I did to protect everybody here, you see it as making things harder for us? When have they ever contributed to this house properly?"
"Mind your tone with me, Mingyu!" she shouted.
"Then, mind your thoughts about me as well. I'm sick and tired of being unappreciated and unseen in this household. And yet, I'm still here, helping you out with your bills," I argued. I added, "If I am indeed useless in your eyes, then have your two daughters do the working for you."
With a huff, I stormed upstairs and headed directly to my room. I locked my door shut and landed face first onto my soft mattress. I gripped onto my sheets as my heart raced quicker than before. It thumped so loud, it felt as if it was about to jump out of my chest.
I then screamed onto my pillow as I exploded. I squeezed the pillow closer to my face as an attempt to muffle my screams down. Punches were thrown onto the pillow as I let out all of my anger and frustrations.
I wanted to hate my mother. I wanted to hate my sisters. I didn't want to care about them anymore. However, my promise to my dad was what kept holding me back from not caring. At the end of the day, even if I was harsh towards them, even if I always argued with them, I couldn't hate them. At the same time, I loved the children too much to leave this family behind. Aside from my promise with Dad, they were the glue that has kept me from leaving the house.
Maybe if I didn't care that much for this family, maybe if the children weren't around, I would probably be in my own place right now. Somewhere within the city, in a simple studio type room with everything that I could ever need.
That would be me, on my own, without a care in the world.
But if I wished for that to be real, it would be as if I wished that the children never existed. And I would never want that to happen. Their very existence has kept me sane and made me stronger in a toxic environment.
I would never trade them for a new, peaceful life.
I brought my face out and looked around my room. My eyes then landed on my bag. I reached for it, opened it and grabbed my wallet. I then slid out the hotel access card from Mr. Nam. For a while, I stared at it as I contemplated if I should use it.
With the situation here at home, to stay here would be the worst decision I could ever make. Mama would hound me until she left for work. And God knows what my sisters could do to me if I stayed.
With that said, I grabbed my phone and dialed Mr. Kim's phone number. It rang for a while and once someone picked up, I immediately said, "Hello?"
—*---*---*---
"What?! You took the offer?!" Soyoung squeaked on the other end of the call.
I squinted as I moved my phone a little far from my ear. Her voice was too high-pitched, my ears rang as she squealed. I put my phone close to me and replied, "Yes, I did."
"Wow, that's strange. What made you change your mind all of a sudden?" she asked. "You were protesting so much against it in the office. Now, you're telling me that you're in the Nekobe Hotel? Did something happen?"
"Mm-hm," I nodded, smiling to myself. I looked down and played with a toe as I sat down on the sofa with my knees close to my chest.
"Let me guess: they didn't take the news very well?" she asked after a sigh.
I chuckled as I remained quiet.
Soyoung groaned on the other end before continuing, "Your family has no other hobby but to put all the blame on you, don't they? Especially your mother. Is she paying a blind eye to her two beloved daughters? Or is she really born stupid because I think she is?"
"There's really nothing we can do about it, Soyoung. She loves Jaeyun and Narae too much. She will never give the same consideration to me," I replied. I added, "I used to complain about it all the time. But she never did anything about it. I only ranted out today because there were children involved."
"It's really a good thing that the children have you as their aunt. The only person that cares for them in the same house is you. So, it's not a mystery why they value you so much as their aunt," Soyoung answered. "But at least, you won't have to worry about them when you're away. They're with your Aunt Yen. And you said it yourself: she cares more for you than what your mother can do for you."
I replied, "It's true that I don't worry too much anymore, knowing that they're under Aunt Yen's care. At the same time, the social workers will be checking them on a daily basis. However, I can't help but still think about them. Aunt Yen also has a lot of things in her hands. I wouldn't want to add more to what she's already doing."
"Mingyu, this isn't the time for you to overthink certain things. Mr. Nam made a way for you to join him on Jeju Island. And your aunt agreed to take care of the kids. Everyone around you wants for you to enjoy your life. The only person who's standing in your way is your own self," Soyoung said.
She continued, "I know how much you love your nieces and nephews. And I also understand that you just don't want to be a burden to anybody. However, when other people are making a way for you, you shouldn't decline the offer. Especially when it's for the prosperous future ahead of you. Do you understand?"
"Mm," I simply nodded as I didn't want another preachy conversation with Soyoung. Because I would never hear the end of it.
"Anyways, I need to go. I need to rest early for tomorrow. Do the same for you as well," she added.
"Thank you for listening to me tonight, Soyoung. Actually, thank you for listening to my rants without fail," I said, giggling right after.
"Don't mention it. Just remember that I'm always here for you. And please, stop overthinking things when your problems are already solved," she replied before a frustrated groan. "Just because your own family decided to make your life a living hell, that doesn't mean that everybody in this world will do the same. You got that?"
"Yes, mom," I teased and chuckled.
She scoffed on the other end and said, "Alright, I'm gonna go. See you tomorrow. Bye."
"Bye," I smiled on my end, stopping the call. I closed my phone and settled it down on my bedside table. I was about to get up from my bed when it vibrated once more. I quickly grabbed it. And my heart skipped a beat.
It was Mr. Nam's called ID.
I stared at the screen for a long time, allowing it to vibrate continuously. After my confusing and frustrating talk with him today, I didn't want to deal with more of his vagueness. It was a blessing that he appointed Mr. Kim as the middleman in regards to the hotel reservations. It gave me more time to breathe, as well as space from his intimidating aura.
After quite a while, the persistent calls came to a halt. Finally, I was able to calm down and put the phone on the bedside table like how I wanted it to be. However, a few steps away from it, it vibrated for a few seconds.
I huffed as I returned to it and opened it again. This time, it was a message from Mr. Nam. Even a simple text message gave me a bit of a heart attack.
Cautiously and with one eye closed, I opened the message.