[There are two reasons why I am writing extra chapters in the middle of the novel. It's either I'm bored and decided to make one, and/or it's somehow related but not very significant in the story as a whole. But still, I hope you'll enjoy it. :D]
"Eunuch Xu..." Emperor Yin Renshu calls out to his silly eunuch.
The wine house is still bustling with all these people drinking and being loud. But for some unexplainable reasons, Yin Renshu and Xu Zhengming can still hear each other clearly. Maybe it's true that you can't choose what you'll hear but you can focus on what you want to listen to.
"Hmm?" Xu Zhengming looks at him attentively, waiting for his next words.
Yin Renshu still feels unwell even after throwing up. His mind is in a total mess. He can't think straight or even choose the words to say and do not.
Smiling lazily, the emperor asks casually, "You actually know you're beautiful?"
Xu Zhengming got caught off-guard. He's not expecting these words to come out to this temperamental emperor. And he's not in his 'gentle mode' too so this is kind of surprising. He thought, if his majesty is in his kind and smiley self, it's more believable.
The eunuch answers, "Uh... beautiful isn't the best word to put it but yes, I won't deny the fact that I'm good-looking."
The emperor continues, "Did you also know you're witty but dumb in some ways?"
Xu Zhengming was about to feel grateful towards the emperor for acknowledging his good looks only to get a total counterattack afterward. Well, at least that's how Xu Zhengminng took it. He thought it's just an introduction to an insult.
The silly eunuch forced a smile and said, "Renshu, my friend, I know I'm witty but the word 'dumb' doesn't describe me. It just doesn't suit my brilliant self." Xu Zhengming rubs and sometimes hits the emperor's back harshly while maintaining a forced smile, "I got a degree from the imperial academy so it's not surprising if you find me witty but aren't you contradicting yourself? You just called me dumb."
"And you're short-tempered too." Yin Renshu continues, "Be kind to me and we will be fine."
"..."
Xu Zhengming fell silent. He's torn between laughing or getting mad. He isn't sure anymore if who's more stupid. The emperor who talks nonsense out of nowhere or he who talks to a drunk man with a low tolerance for alcohol.
"And oh! Did I say you're strong? You're still striving to live even though things don't go your way." Yin Renshu taps his eunuch's shoulder. He finally did what he wasn't able to when he's in his right mind earlier. "It's fine now. I won't allow things to be difficult for you again. Is Court Lady Han still bullying you? I'll talk to her and---"
Xu Zhengming quickly interrupted him. "Aiyah! There's no need for that!"
His majesty's eyebrows almost meet in the middle. He asks, "Why not?"
His eunuch responded with mixed disbelief and confused expression on his face. "You're asking me why? You'll only anger Court Lady Han and she'll take her anger out to me. And I'm fine, I can take care of it myself."
"Fine. But call me whenever you need help." Yin Renshu made a face and raised his eyebrows. "What's there to act strong for? Pssh..."
"..."
Is he acting strong? Xu Zhengming thought he's acting just normal. He's just being himself. Is he even acting in the first place? From the very start, he thought he's just being carefree. Why would he act strong? What's there to act strong for?
Mingming scratches the back of his head. Now he's asking himself what the emperor asked him just now.
Xu Zhengming really got tangled with his messed-up thoughts, all thanks to the temperamental emperor. He only got back to reality the moment the emperor speaks again.
"I don't think you're possessive but that's fine too."
"Huh?"
This silly eunuch doesn't have an idea what exactly he's talking about. But now that he thinks through it more, he indeed is not possessive. Before he decided to work as a eunuch in the imperial palace, Xu Zhengming has been in multiple romantic relationships with women. Sometimes two, three, or four women at the same time. He never gets jealous. He's never been serious in his past relationships. He never begged a woman to stay with him. In fact, the women he got in a relationship with are the ones pleading for him not to leave.
Actually, Mingming isn't like this in the very first place. After Xu Zhengming's first love brought him to his downfall, he never took romantic relationships seriously.
But why did the emperor bring this up now? It's too out of the context.
Yin Renshu said, "Let's sneak out again in the future."
Xu Zhengming's confusion dissipated in an instant. So there's still next time? Then every time they'll sneak out, he'll be sure to ask the emperor to buy him liquor and treat him to expensive meals that he never got to eat before.
The little eunuch answered in high spirits. "I'd like to! Let's sneak out as much as you want before my death comes."
He thought, what's there to be ashamed for? He's dying anyway. Why not just enjoy the remaining days he has in the world of the living?
The emperor feels like puking again. He gags and his eyelids got watery. Xu Zhengming rubs his back again, hoping to help him feel better by just doing so.
"Eunuch Xu..." The emperor calls again.
"What?" Xu Zhengming leans a little to look at his face only to see an unusual sight.
Mingming isn't sure if it's because of the other's tears forming on his eyelids or the moonlight reflected in those pair of phoenix eyes. Whatever the reason is, the emperor's eyes seem to have a glimmer.
With a straight face, the emperor said in a serious tone, "Be my empress."
"What the fuck? What did you just say?"
Xu Zhengming thought, maybe he just heard it wrong. Why would the emperor say that? And to him on top of that! Also, his facial expression and the tone of his voice don't have a trace of a bluff.
Annoyed, the emperor speaks again, "Do you really want me to repeat it? Or you're just deaf? I'm telling you to be my empress."
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Xu Zhengming thought, there's no way he means the literal meaning, right? He must be meaning something else by that.
The emperor emphasized every word that left his lips. "You, my empress. There's no other meaning behind it. If you don't understand that, you're dumb and stupid."
"I don't---"
The emperor didn't let Xu Zhengming finish what he was about to say. "If you refuse, you're dumb and stupid."
Xu Zhengming tried again but failed halfway. "Like what I was saying I don't---"
"Xu Zhengming is dumb and stupid."
Irritated, Xu Zhengming forgot about the language. "What the fuck?!"
However, the emperor said indifferently, completely ignoring his eunuch's reaction. "Just be my empress. This is a royal order."
Xu Zhengming gives up. Why is he even letting himself argue with a drunk man? He tried to calm down and said to the emperor. "You already have Empress Xue Chi."
Yin Renshu seems to be annoyed after hearing her name and averted his eyes. "Pssh... Dethrone her."
"HUH?!"
Yin Renshu expounded his words, "When I can finally rule the imperial palace and release ourselves from the grand empress dowager's hand, I'll dethrone her. Then I'll make you my empress."
Xu Zhengming finally lost it. He tried to suppress his laughter at first but failed anyway. He laughs so hard that a tear escaped from his eyelid.
"But I'm a man. I can't be an empress." He said trying to subdue himself. He thought, the alcohol sure hits him too hard.
The more Xu Zhengming laughs, the more serious the emperor gets. He said sternly, "Then you'll be my male empress."
"Pfft... There's no such thing!" Xu Zhengming laughs again. This time, his abdomen hurts from laughing but still, he just can't stop himself.
The emperor grabs both of his eunuch's cheeks and looks straight on the other's pair of eyes. This sudden action startled the silly eunuch and stopped laughing. His majesty's obsidian black phoenix eyes seem to have a brighter glint of light.
"You'll be the first one." Yin Renshu said. "So don't die until then."
Xu Zhengming is dumbfounded for a moment but immediately recovered his composure. He snorted and smiled. "Mn."
He knows this is silly. He talks to a drunk man with low alcohol tolerance. And what's funnier is that he just agreed to become the emperor's male empress. Well, who cares? He's too tired to argue with this drunk temperamental emperor. It's not going to happen anyway. If ever Yin Renshu manages to get the whole political power there is in the imperial palace in the future, he won't be seeing that happen. Even if he lives long enough to witness that, there's no way he'll make him his empress, right? So what's the harm of nodding just to make his majesty stop from humiliating himself?
Yin Renshu feels like he can't keep himself awake any longer. His eyes are too heavy to keep them open. His hands couldn't keep holding the other's cheeks. His head then falls on Xu Zhengming's shoulder.
The emperor said, almost whispering, "I'll find out everything. You'll be cured. Don't die until then, okay?"
Xu Zhengming smiles weakly, "Okay."
Then everything dissipated after a loud voice of an old woman sounded.
"Your majesty, it's already time for you to wake up!"
Yin Renshu opens his eyes and finds himself on his bed spreading his limbs in four different directions. He looks around and realized he's in the emperor's hall and what happened just now was actually just his dream.
Although he's already wide awake, for some reason, he felt... nervous? Restless? Why is his heart acting this way? And his head hurts too.
He doesn't know how and when did he come back from that wine house last night. He didn't go home alone and left his silly eunuch there, right?
Though he can't clearly remember what happened after he got drunk, there's no way he'd be asking Eunuch Xu to be his male empress, right?
"No, impossible. There's no way that's real. It's just a dream, why am I anxious over it?"
His Majesty the emperor of the eighth generation, Yin Renshu, refuses to think that it's not impossible to happen even though he actually proposed to his personal eunuch in reality.